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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sister is having Christening right after my due date

257 replies

2stayor2go · 09/07/2018 13:43

Had to NC for this as I could be outing myself here.

Sister has been going on about how important it is for her for the whole family to be there at her son's christening. She's now just WhatsApped everyone in a group chat, saying that the event will take place 2 days after my due date.

This is my first child and so I told her, it probably wouldn't suit as I would either have given birth by then or risk going into labour. She's refused to change the date despite the fact that our brother can't make the event either.

She's texted me back expecting that we'd be there (me and DH), and if not, we could just transfer her the money for the food in case I'm giving birth. After the ceremony, she's booked a dinner-thing at a nearby restaurant, and would expect me and DH to pay £65 each even if we can't make it!

AIBU to think this is extremely cheeky? Our parents have expressed that they think my sister is in the right and that we might as well go if I haven't given birth!

OP posts:
Abra1de · 09/07/2018 16:42

When did christenings become so OTT!?

bellinisurge · 09/07/2018 16:44

Ignore the silly idiot.

nervousnails · 09/07/2018 16:46

Why can't you cancel outright and ask her to NOT book you in because you are not turning up, under any circumstance.

saoirse31 · 09/07/2018 16:49

Surely if your sister is inviting people to a Christensen ng, she will be providing and paying for food ..

Chickychoccyegg · 09/07/2018 16:49

my first child was born on their due date, so could quite easily happen to you, absolutely ridiculous of your sister to expect you to pay when you've said your not going.
just tell her one last time you won't be going, it's too close to your due date and not to book the dinner for you and your dh as you won't be able to attend, she is being completely unreasonable

Larrythecat · 09/07/2018 16:51

I get the feeling that she wanted to be the center of attention and that is the earliest date that she could book. Any later and you will have given birth, risking that the newborn will attract all the attention. She's pushing for that date because it's likely you haven't given birth, or you will be in hospital, so her baby will be still the center of attention.

runninggnomeintothedesertfree · 09/07/2018 16:57

How can she make you pay if you aren't attending? I’m not sure if this is real sounds quite fake to me however if this story is real then tell her she can't do that

WhereYouLeftIt · 09/07/2018 16:58

I'm with Larrythecat - she's not happy that you and your newborn might be the centre of attention for a bit.

Does she have form for this sort of attitude, sabotaging anything which might make you more noticed than her?

CrackerCrisp · 09/07/2018 16:59

Surely there is a risk that any of the guests may not turn up. Illness etc can happen to anyone last minute. It’s a bit like not being able to attend a wedding because you went in to labour and the b&g sending a bill!

butlerswharf · 09/07/2018 17:00

I'd say now you can't go. As it's 2 days past your due date it shouldn't surprise her.

spudlet7 · 09/07/2018 17:10

Your sister sounds like a loon. Agree with PPs that tell her the following:

  • if you haven't given birth AND are feeling well enough, you'll attend the christening ceremony
  • as you cannot commit, neither she nor you should risk wasting £130 so to book the (weirdly expensive) meal without you and DH as part of the guest list
Any further nonsense from her and she gets upgraded to extra-loon.
bellinisurge · 09/07/2018 17:17

£65? For what?

hazell42 · 09/07/2018 17:23

The money is cheeky. However she might not have had a choicr about the date. Quite often these days churches set dates

LoniceraJaponica · 09/07/2018 17:24

Why is a christening meal £65 each? That is utterly ridiculous.

NotAsGreenAsCabbageLooking · 09/07/2018 17:25

Sounds like a good reason not to have to attend a christening to me!

bellinisurge · 09/07/2018 17:30

I'm a rubbish Catholic. Attended a few christenings in my time. None of this batshit craziness. £65 each? Ridiculous. I doubt even Prince William has done that with his kids. Or maybe he has? Do you know something we don't?

Angrybird345 · 09/07/2018 17:47

Don’t pay!!

User467 · 09/07/2018 17:49

We had a family 60th arranged close to my due date and they wanted numbers confirmed for the meal. I just said not to count us at all as we couldn't commit. I ended up having DS day before the meal so was right choice

LongSummerDays · 09/07/2018 17:52

£65? For what?

To ensure this gets into the Daily Mail, of course. Wink

OhLookHeKickedTheBall · 09/07/2018 18:27

Tell her, in no uncertain terms, not to pay for your meal/reserve you a spot unless she is willing to take the hit. Like others have said, tell her you'll attend the ceremony if you can but not the meal in either event.

Either that or tell her you'll gladly pay for the meal so long as you get to chose where to shove it Wink

TorviBrightspear · 09/07/2018 18:32

However she might not have had a choicr about the date. Quite often these days churches set dates

But would it really have hurt to have delayed the christening by a few weeks? If you want family to attend you have to be considerate.

I'm coming down on the side of thinking the OP's DSis is actually jealous of any attention given to OP. And no way would I have paid £65 per head when there's a very high probability I could not go. I know that personally I wouldn't have made an event 2 days after my due date.

Mousefunky · 09/07/2018 18:34

Most expensive christening ever, Jesus Christ... is she a member of the RF? Grin.

Just RSVP no. Impossible to predict when you’ll go into labour but even if you’re overdue with no signs of anything happening, you most definitely won’t feel up to a family get together.

RuggerHug · 09/07/2018 19:11

'I'm not paying £65 for something I could vomit in delivery. If we can make it we'll see you after, don't hold a place for us'.

RealSLOAH · 09/07/2018 19:14

I would suggest you RSVP to decline. It’s too close to your due date. Both of mine came early. You may be at hospital or in recovery at the time of the christening. GL with your pregnancy and delivery. x

peony2325 · 09/07/2018 19:53

Christenings are going the same way as weddings, a huge amount of expense and fuss all geared towards getting a lot of likes on your photos on social media.

The point of a Christening is to receive the child into the Church. It’s lovely to have a party afterwards but a cup of tea and cake in the church hall is just as pleasant.