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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Sister is having Christening right after my due date

257 replies

2stayor2go · 09/07/2018 13:43

Had to NC for this as I could be outing myself here.

Sister has been going on about how important it is for her for the whole family to be there at her son's christening. She's now just WhatsApped everyone in a group chat, saying that the event will take place 2 days after my due date.

This is my first child and so I told her, it probably wouldn't suit as I would either have given birth by then or risk going into labour. She's refused to change the date despite the fact that our brother can't make the event either.

She's texted me back expecting that we'd be there (me and DH), and if not, we could just transfer her the money for the food in case I'm giving birth. After the ceremony, she's booked a dinner-thing at a nearby restaurant, and would expect me and DH to pay £65 each even if we can't make it!

AIBU to think this is extremely cheeky? Our parents have expressed that they think my sister is in the right and that we might as well go if I haven't given birth!

OP posts:

Bluesmartiesarebest · 09/07/2018 15:38

I’m guessing your sister is the golden child because most parents would tell her how ridiculous she is being. Text her and say that you won’t go for the meal but hope to be there for the ceremony.

It will be interesting if your baby is early because she really won’t like you turning up with a newborn to the christening!

Iamtryingtobenicehere · 09/07/2018 15:47

Just tell her outright that you will not be going you’re 9months and a minute gone. If she wants a big event, let her organise it, you don’t have to attend. She sounds a right one!

Iamtryingtobenicehere · 09/07/2018 15:49

Would your sister happen to be the baby of the three of you (you , brother and her?) she has that “neediness “ that the baby of the family often has. If they’re not the centre of attention, they will find a way to be.

summertimehere · 09/07/2018 15:52

Omg such bad manners to invite someone and expect them to pay for themselves!!!!! Tacky

Cath2907 · 09/07/2018 15:56

It's 2 days after your due date... you'll either be huge, uncomfortable and desperate to get the beachball out or you'll have a newborn about your person. Neither condition is compatible with £130 worth of meal out. Just say "No"!

Itsveryhard · 09/07/2018 16:03

Not everyone feels uncomfortable. On both occasions I was out and about on my due date and I had no issue sitting as thankfully I wasn't uncomfortable at all (I went to a football match as I didn't want to miss out using my season ticket!)
BUT I would not be paying for something that I might not attend. Like others say just attend the christening if you can and pass on the meal!

Butterymuffin · 09/07/2018 16:03

Ah, well just say 'it's a bit risky all round to book us for the meal so don't do that. We'll just come to the church'. You can always bow out on the day if baby has just arrived or you don't feel well.

SoyDora · 09/07/2018 16:05

Not everyone feels uncomfortable

Exactly. I took my toddler to a local festival 2 days before my due date, I felt fine. Obviously I know some won’t, but it’s not a given.
There was no way I wanted to be stuck at home around my due date. I went Christmas shopping the day I went into labour with DD1 (had my first contractions in Carluccios!)

SoyDora · 09/07/2018 16:05

And that was at 40+6!

coconutpie · 09/07/2018 16:08

RSVP and say no.

DeadGood · 09/07/2018 16:08

Write back “sorry I think you’ve misunderstood. We won’t be there. Please don’t reserve seats for us.”

I find it a little weird that she’s prepared to pay for you if you attend, but not if you don’t.

NicoAndTheNiners · 09/07/2018 16:10

£130 for both of you plus present? I think being so close to your due date has given you the perfect excuse! You’ve dodged a bullet. Say no, tell her not to book meals for you as you won’t be going. You’ll either be too uncomfortable pregnant or too uncomfortable just given birth.

NicoAndTheNiners · 09/07/2018 16:11

Though if you have the baby prior to the christening maybe you could Trump her in CF stakes and get the vicar do baptise yours as well. Bogof type thing?

IsItComingHome · 09/07/2018 16:17

Good god, tell her to fuck right off

IsItComingHome · 09/07/2018 16:19

I totally agree with summertime. It's a non-starter. And how incredibly unfeeling of your sister

StatisticallyChallenged · 09/07/2018 16:24

OP might be one of those fortunate women who are still very comfortable very late on - but most aren't, and expecting her to spend £130 on something which there is a fairly low chance of her feeling up to attending is crappy.

Iloveacurry · 09/07/2018 16:28

She’s very entitled isn’t she? Just say not to book you and your DH for the dinner, you may be able to attend the christening but not the meal.

Gazelda · 09/07/2018 16:30

I'd say that you'll be at the ceremony if possible, but won't be attending the meal.

Beehiveyourself · 09/07/2018 16:30

The ILs tried this with us re one of the SIL’s weddings. It was an overseas jobby and the bride and groom got their room free of charge if so many people booked rooms in the hotel. Classy! 🙄

We said no sorry can’t make it and unleashed the hounds of hell!

FIL rang me and told me I’d spoiled the wedding, that SIL probably couldn’t get married now, that “everyone” was annoyed with us, and so we to pay a few hundred pounds for not going 😂

Ignore them OP, what’s she going to do? If she tells everyone you didn’t pay they’ll think she’s a (tight) loon.

mostdays · 09/07/2018 16:30

Hahahaha. That is all I would text her back. Because she must be joking. If she's serious she's a complete tit you don't need to worry about offending.

JeezYouLoon · 09/07/2018 16:31

If you don't want to go OP, don't go!

My first was about a week early and my second was late, which was handy as I went to a family wedding 3 days before the due date of my second (summer 06). I looked and felt like a hippo, I had a lovely time but was knackered and everyone knew I may or may not have made it. Fortunately another family member is a midwife, I think she was willing me to go into labour

The bride and groom were/are very laid back and we're just happy I was there.

I'd tell your sister you'll be at the church (hopefully!) but not the meal after.

TheFaerieQueene · 09/07/2018 16:32

I can’t imagine anything more dull than a christening. Don’t say you might make it. Just say no #zammo

Coyoacan · 09/07/2018 16:33

Well I wouldn't bother, frankly, too much stress and if your presence were really important to your sister, she would have booked a different date.

DamsonGin · 09/07/2018 16:34

If I were still paying for it, I'd want it boxed up and sent over in a taxi, unless I was actually busy with popping the baby out.

Tjzmummabear · 09/07/2018 16:37

I had my daughter's Christening at a local Premier Best Western. It was tea, coffee and cream tea. It most certainly was not £65 per head. It was in Dec and unfortunately some could not make it. I certainly didn't expect anyone to transfer funds... I did eat their scones lol

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