To dislike my labia?! **Title Edited by MNHQ**

[KateGrey]

It’s given birth to both my babies but the lips hang low. Before sex I end up moving them apart and I’m embarrassed. It’s not a first world problem but between that and my overhang I’m embarrassed. Is it just me who feels awkward? Or do people embrace their vaginas? I realise this is a very odd post.

Sorry for the incorrect terminology. I tend to think of my vagina as a whole package. But I see the point. It’s not a first world problem I know but I suppose it just makes me uncomfortable. But I appreciate those who’ve posted who feel similarly.

Bollocks to it meaning you are mishapen if you have to move them to allow access during sex! Is that such a problem you would have surgery. OP please take away the messages not just from those who have said it is or was a problem for them too, but those saying “we are like that and it’s fine”. If you are in pain fair enough but don’t chop bits off yourself for cosmetic reasons

"The great wall of vagina" annoys me because a) they're not vaginas, and b) it's meant to show the vast range of vulval normalness, but they're all BALD. Normal vulvas are hairy, and whilst many these days remove their pubes, hair is a normal part of a vulva. According to TGWOV, it's not.

OP, all sorts of fanjo variation is normal, especially post DC; however if you're uncomfortable or worried see your GP.

The OP can use what words she pleases if she goes to seek help, who probably won't be back to her thread because people picked apart her wording despite knowing exactly what she meant.

I've never had my minge operated on since we're swapping details, thankyou for sharing

Xposts

You didn’t have to apologise OP. People were just commenting as it’s important for women to be educated on their bodies, and will make it a lot easier and save time if you or anyone reading chooses to seek help. It just ends up a derail because people can’t resist having a go at people clarifying what you meant/pointing out the correct terminology and then it turns into a bun fight. I’m sorry you felt the need to apologise, you’re far from the only person who is unsure about their anatomy!

Op

Don't apologise

I'm sure if you decide to go down the medical route you can perfectly describe your own areas affected.

The Major Majorams always march in for circuit of parade on threads like this.

And who cares if women mix up the labia/vulva/vagina? Why does it matter. Do we know the names of each arm bone, or inner ear? What about the eyes? Is it just because it is genitals that it is sooooo important?
Doesn't matter if people refer to it as a noo noo, we know what they mean so what's the problem?

OP I’m sorry your post has been derailed by this vagina/vulva chat - just to reiterate, what you describe is very normal and unless it’s causing you pain try not to worry about it. But if it’s causing you genuine despair, know that there is surgery out there. Mine cost around £3,000 around 20 years ago. I would avoid it unless you really really are obsessed with the issue though; I sometimes get aches there that I think are due to the surgery, and though my sensation is fine, I sometimes wonder if I might otherwise have more.

Also just to note that if you’re worried about what your DP thinks - if he slept with several women before you, it’s almost a certainty that some of them will have had this style of labia. So I doubt he thinks twice about yours.

justtheone if any female of any age talked about their “noo noo” I would never think they were referring to their genitals.

OP, through work I have seen a whole heap of vulvas and labia and there is huge variation between women. It’s not like there’s a normal that 85% of women are like and some outliers; there’s loads of variation. Whatever’s happening for you down there it’s likely not strange at all.

The great thing about GPs is that they're fully aware that the huge majority of patients don't know the correct medical terminology for their body parts. They're not going to hurts into flames or be professionally offended because a woman uses the term "vagina" when she means "labia". It is a complete non-issue. Yes, knowledge is power but at the moment the Op needs gentle reassurance not beating over the head by the Vulva Police.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/m.huffingtonpost.co.uk/amp/entry/half-of-women-cannot-identify-vagina-eve-appeal-survey_uk_57c6e0f7e4b085cf1ecccea5/

70% of women can name the male anatomy.

30% if women can name the female anatomy.

How is it okay that we’re in a situation where the majority of women can correctly identify male anatomy but less than a third can identify their own?

That’s a shocking statistic, and as the nurse in the article says, how can women be educated on what changes and symptoms they should be looking out for on their own bodies when they don’t even have the language or knowledge to know what they’re talking about?

I know it’s not directly relevant to OP but I do think it’s important as women we don’t just go ‘oh it’s fine to say front bottom/call the whole thing the vagina’ etc. and give up on educating and empowering women about their own bloomin’ bodies. It’s odd that people would take issue with that as long as it’s done respectfully to educate rather than mock.

How is it okay that we’re in a situation where the majority of women can correctly identify male anatomy but less than a third can identify their own?

It’s not okay but this post is not the place to address this! If you have some reassurance to offer the OP regarding the matter she actually posted about, then please do.

As an HCA I've seen lots of vulvas & they are all different. So there is no 'normal'.

Btw I refer to vulvas as 'down below'.

So if I'm washing a patient I say "shall I wash down below" rather than saying 'vulva'.
All the (mainly older) women I've cared for seem to feel more comfortable with euphemisms than with the actual word vulva which is fine.

Ok be sure all that have commented on my incorrect terminology I have now corrected this by educating myself. And will educate my children. I suspect as I use the term vagina with them (they’re still young) that that is what I’ve gotten used to.

My dh isn’t fussed at all. He’s never made any comment. I suppose I just feel it’s another part of my body I’m uncomfortable with. I doubt I’d opt for surgery but I wondered if I was alone in feeling like this. It’s not something you can tend to go out and discuss “Hey, thanks for the coffee, what’s your labia like? Do they hang?”. But it’s reassuring that a lot of people are in the same boat.

Mine do..always have done. Doesn't bother me or dp and we do plenty of shagging.

It’s not okay but this post is not the place to address this! If you have some reassurance to offer the OP regarding the matter she actually posted about, then please do.

I have, if you read the thread.

I wasn’t the one to bring it up, btw. I’m just sick of the massive derail and bickering that always ensues from people determined to mock PP who do bring it up. That’s what usually makes it a bigger deal than it needs to be, if you see on the first page one poster mentioned ‘I think you mean labia?’ And then went on to offer advice/support. That’s fine and within the poster’s right to do so. But then snarky messages about ‘the vulva brigade’ ensued and caused a far bigger disturbance than was necessary. Yet those PP have the cheek to say it’s people bringing up terminology that are the ones derailing.

www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/body/health/gmp11658368/is-my-vagina-normal-shape-size-vulva-labia/

It wasn't until I came across this, that I realised I had the least common type of vulva. Can't say I had ever thought about it, I hadn't realised they vary so much 🙈

It’s not something you can tend to go out and discuss “Hey, thanks for the coffee, what’s your labia like? Do they hang?”. But it’s reassuring that a lot of people are in the same boat.

You should try it. It’s very empowering! I’ve had conversations with quite a few of my female friends about bodies and the huge variation in what’s ‘normal’, I remember a discussion years and years ago with two of my closest friends where we discovered one of them had uneven labia that were two different sizes, she was totally unfazed by it and it was quite empowering to share what our bodies were like.

Have you ever had a gynaecologist appt? I think a lot of women find that a good opportunity to ask whether they’re normal or not, or a nurse doing a smear test. They might be able to give you either reassurance that you’re within the boundaries of ‘normal’, or let you know you should see a doctor about surgery if you wanted to.

It doesn’t sound like you’re fussed about changing it though or that there’s much impact on your life other than having to adjust them during sex so I don’t mean to suggest you ought to be thinking about surgery, if you’re happy with them that’s great, but if they are making you self conscious or miserable you should seek medical advice as many women do end up having a labiaplasty and being a lot more comfortable physically :)

OP, I had a dislike of mine and had a labiaplasty 4 months ago, abroad and privately. It took some courage (and money!) to do that, but 4 months later I have forgotten all about it because finally everything's in the right place. I'd been thinking about it for many years, it wasn't too bad but it bothered me, well nothing bothers me now and the worry is gone. Good luck with whatever you decide.

everythingsgoingtobealright nice stealth boast 😂 jk!

I think porn is very empowering for this, if you only see the typical highly produced stereotypical barbie looking porn star type of porn you’d probably be forgiven for not even realising anyone has labia minora as the ‘invisible minora, tiny and neat and cute’ vulva is most common.

But just regular amateur stuff uploaded by normal people enjoying themselves? It shows an absolutely massive variation of people of all shapes and sizes enjoying themselves. Makes you realise what a huge variance there is in the human body and that very few features are ‘abnormal’.

have a look at

www.labialibrary.org.au - it's not porn it's an aussie health education site.

and the Great Wall of Vagina - there's a book with images of each of the casts, 500 of them or so.

I see a lot of bits at work. There is no normal, everyone is different.

Also, the FUNCTION of your labia is to enhance sex - they swell up so you get more stimulation. Bigger is, presumably, better.

My dh isn’t fussed at all. He’s never made any comment.

Sorry I forgot to ask OP, have you thought about just asking your husband?

Ask him if he likes your vulva and whether in his experience it’s unusual in any way? If he was fine with it do you think it’d reassure you? He might not have ever made comment on it but I imagine if you ask he’ll probably tell you he thinks you’re fine and nothing out of the ordinary.

My bits all work OK, Only DH and me ever look at them, I really would prefer them to look a bit more individual than some airbrushed porn star. Frilly is OK.