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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To dislike my labia?! **Title Edited by MNHQ**

201 replies

KateGrey · 08/07/2018 21:05

It’s given birth to both my babies but the lips hang low. Before sex I end up moving them apart and I’m embarrassed. It’s not a first world problem but between that and my overhang I’m embarrassed. Is it just me who feels awkward? Or do people embrace their vaginas? I realise this is a very odd post.

OP posts:
Tara12 · 08/07/2018 23:32

I think you sound totally normal. When I was young mine used to be a bit like that and rub on my jeans very ouchily and they embarrassed me( I had never ever seen a vagina other than my own) . Now I know they change throughout life. Mine are tucked out of sight now. I rather miss them!

User12879923378 · 08/07/2018 23:34

There's nothing empowering about being ridiculed by other women when you've asked for advice about something intimate that you are upset and embarrassed by

esk1mo · 08/07/2018 23:40

ok, next time someones asks if they have a hair in their eye, tell them they must mean on the cornea, it couldnt possibly be IN their eye Hmm

bakedlikeabun · 08/07/2018 23:41

Rosiewood could you save your surgery money and spend it on a divorce lawyer instead? Flowers

AhNowTed · 09/07/2018 00:24

OP I hear you.

I used to think I was abnormal as mine hang down, and whilst not quite visible from space, can be uncomfortable in jeans, and I find myself 'tucking them in'.

However I've come to realise that fannies come in all shapes and sizes (I'm AGOG at Naked Attraction on C4) and my DH has no problem with the way they look. Quite the opposite Smile

avamiah · 09/07/2018 00:30

AhNowTed,
I totally agree with you as mine aren’t excactly neat but they are normal.

avamiah · 09/07/2018 00:41

Thinking back at least 12 years,I was going out with a guy who said the most horrendous thing to me after we had sex.
He told me that he couldn’t do ( the business on me) as he didn’t like my vagina as it wasn’t neat.lol
I was totally mortified and if I wasn’t a confident woman then that comment could of really affected my life.
I won’t tell you what I said to him as it won’t get posted .hahaha
But on the lines of, you have been watching too much porn you ??
Lol

AhNowTed · 09/07/2018 00:42

@avamiah thanks!

And to OP, not an odd post at all. I wondered the same for years.

You're totally normal. The porn star look is few and far between.

Frilly fannies everywhere!

RainbowsAndSmiles · 09/07/2018 00:43

Oh jeez,who cares? What a strange thing to get worked up about. I can honestly say I've given mine no thought or angst!

ifoundthebread · 09/07/2018 00:44

I used to worry about what I looked like down there, on another app I was directed to the 'great wall of vagina' and I felt pretty good about myself after that. It made me realise I was 'normal' and everything I was insecure about was pretty common!

AhNowTed · 09/07/2018 00:49

@RainbowsAndSmiles

Pleased you're body confident, but did you mean to be so patronising about a subject many, including me have wondered about, with nothing to compare it with for years apart from porn.

Failingat40 · 09/07/2018 00:52

I can't help but eye roll at the pedantic posters on here who feel it's appropriate to jump on the op about the correct terminology of her body!!!

Do you think men get the same grief when they post about their manhood ?? Can you really see other men saying oh you mean the glans, not the head of the penis or the shaft not the penis or scrotum not the testicles!??

Seriously, gtf moaners!! I can just see you all as the most irritating twats in the class when you were kids at school.

Anyway Op, it's normal and generally all women have different sized and shaped lips. If it's uncomfortable then there is things that can be done if you ask your doctor.

avamiah · 09/07/2018 00:55

RainbowsAndSmiles,
Well you must have a perfect Pussy,
Lucky You .

RainbowsAndSmiles · 09/07/2018 01:02

RainbowsAndSmiles,Well you must have a perfect Pussy, Lucky You

What IS a "perfect pussy? I'm just me. I can't be arsed with comparing myself to others.
If I took that mindset I could whine my boobs are too small but instead I don't, as they're just me, and I'm happy being me.

RainbowsAndSmiles · 09/07/2018 01:04

Pleased you're body confident, but did you mean to be so patronising about a subject many, including me have wondered about, with nothing to compare it with for years apart from porn.

Why would you want to compare yourself to others and what they do or don't have?
You're you. No-ones so called perfect.Someone's perfect will be someone elses idea of yuck.

AhNowTed · 09/07/2018 01:08

@RainbowsAndSmiles

Pleased for you.

The OP has a genuine concern that many women have and your dismissive tone isn't helping anyone, apart from yourself that is.

RainbowsAndSmiles · 09/07/2018 01:10

AhNowTed the OP asked if it was just her. Nowhere did it say replies were only allowed if they agreed.

AhNowTed · 09/07/2018 01:17

@RainbowsAndSmiles I understand but your posts came over as quite dismissive, like she has no reason to ask in the first place. I was just defending her as she has a valid concern shared by many.

avamiah · 09/07/2018 01:19

RainbowsAndSmiles,
“Oh jeez who cares”
You seem to as you keep posting ridiculous comments .

SummerWinter · 09/07/2018 01:21

One thing I wonder is do the women who feel less confident about their labia shave/wax? I only ask as I’ve never really thought about mine but then again it’s largely under hair!

AhNowTed · 09/07/2018 01:26

@SummerWinter I don't shave completely for that reason.. I don't like how it looks completely bald

RainbowsAndSmiles · 09/07/2018 01:27

RainbowsAndSmiles,“Oh jeez who cares” You seem to as you keep posting ridiculous comments

Keep? Only posted around two on this thread. The latter because responding to comments like this.

RainbowsAndSmiles · 09/07/2018 01:31

I'm AGOG at Naked Attraction on C4)

Stop comparing yourself to peeps with their flaps out on national telly, I guarantee you'll feel better being you lol

AhNowTed · 09/07/2018 01:35

@RainbowsAndSmiles

It is by comparing myself to peeps on national telly that I realised I am completely normal. That was the point.

I'm delighted for you that you plainly don't need the affirmation, good for you.

Greenday49 · 09/07/2018 01:44

This might be a bit unorthodox but I must say, having a 'neat' 'perfect' vagina is no walk in the park either.

I am completely closed up, inner labia totally hidden, if you see me naked it looks just like a line has been drawn on me.

My vagina itself is small.

Okay issues (not exhaustive)
-smear tests. I have almost ended up being put under because staff find it so difficult to do , and I am not adverse to being naked, I am not a nervous person, I don't tense up. Still not happening.

-Hair removal. Shaving is impossible. Hair grows on bits that are tucked inside which means I cant reach them without basically infibulating myself.

-Related to above, hair growing inside because of the 'tucked' aspect means rubbing, chafing and soreness,especially in weather like we have now.

-Sex. I have to be VERY turned on for penetration to be possible. It can take so long It's unreal.

-Because I am like, a 'crack' underneath nothing protruding, if I wear tight trousers it tends to just delve up and hurt like hell. I've mentioned this to close friends with not so neat bits,and it doesn't happen to them. There's just not as much of an orifice if you will.

There are pros and cons. We're all different. It's natural. If It's causing a problem or making sex difficult however, I would say you're perfectly entitled and have a valid reason to make enquiries into getting something changed. :)