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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To dislike my labia?! **Title Edited by MNHQ**

201 replies

KateGrey · 08/07/2018 21:05

It’s given birth to both my babies but the lips hang low. Before sex I end up moving them apart and I’m embarrassed. It’s not a first world problem but between that and my overhang I’m embarrassed. Is it just me who feels awkward? Or do people embrace their vaginas? I realise this is a very odd post.

OP posts:
summertimehere · 09/07/2018 09:38

Go chat to your doctor if you’re not happy.

Do you think a man would just dismiss or ignore if his balls had been messed up?...

Your concerns and feelings are valid they matter to you so seek some professional medical help

KappaKappa · 09/07/2018 09:40

Because I’m off work and bored, I’ve advabced searched some of these posters and they really are the vulva brigade Grin One pp has hijacked 3 different posts to correct an op on their terminology Shock

KappaKappa · 09/07/2018 09:40

advanced*

GabriellaMontez · 09/07/2018 09:42

But she's not been messed up summer from her description she's well within the scope of normal.

Fitflapflop · 09/07/2018 09:45

I have this problem op and I know what you mean. I’ve had 2 2nd degree tears, and an unstitched “graze”, that I bet needed a stitch because my left labia is crooked and hangs very low now.

Last few weeks in the hot weather it hurts to sit on them, and I’ve ended with cuts on one after a shift at work. When I go to the toilet I have to position them correctly otherwise it feels like there is air gathered inside my vagina. I wish I could cut them off or wrap some string around them and cut off circulation.

It’s really really shit and I’m sick of these problems not being followed up by doctors and midwives after birth. Other countries have assigned gynaecologists for women, why can’t we?

summertimehere · 09/07/2018 09:48

But the point is .. she is not happy with them. Its not okay to her regardless that you think it’s okay

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 09/07/2018 09:52

I agree it’s shit

But if the NHS corrected every childbirth damaged vagina - well . They’d be pretty busy Grin

And - it’s normal . And probably not as bad as she imagines

Off to work and

lifechangesforever · 09/07/2018 09:57

Empowering 😂

bobstersmum · 09/07/2018 09:58

I cannot for the life of me imagine having such a problem free life that my brain allowed me to worry about my fanny lips.

EiraCat · 09/07/2018 09:58

I have a very neat vagina with nothing hanging out, but I've only had one kid yet, so... I did have a tear that had to be sewn up though, inner labia.

On the other hand, I hate my boobs - too small with huge nipples! Sad

We all have something we don't love.

EiraCat · 09/07/2018 09:59

I cannot for the life of me imagine having such a problem free life that my brain allowed me to worry about my fanny lips.

The assumption that if someone worries about this then they have nothing else to worry about is wrong. You can worry about 100 things during the same day... You can be going through other mental/physical illnesses and still care. You could be about to become homeless, and still care. I don't get how having other things to stress about somehow means ever other little problem goes away.

Fitflapflop · 09/07/2018 10:02

I cannot for the life of me imagine having such a problem free life that my brain allowed me to worry about my fanny lips.

Well bully for you! When you start feeling you’re sitting on them and they swell up and bleed, I’m sure you’d worry about them then.

EiraCat · 09/07/2018 10:04

Hair removal. Shaving is impossible. Hair grows on bits that are tucked inside which means I cant reach them without basically infibulating myself.

I spread my legs really wide and then pull the "inside facing" part out slighty to shave it.

bobstersmum · 09/07/2018 10:04

But no one apart from you and your partner sees your vagina, and he obviously loves you. Ask any man if they care what a vagina looks like, I bet they don't! If they're getting regular sex especially when you've got children most men would be happy. I can understand irrational worries, I have anxiety myself but to worry about something no one else sees, and that is otherwise perfectly functioning, to me seems silly.

RatRolyPoly · 09/07/2018 10:05

OP what I'm going to say is probably too much information for this time in the morning, but hopefully it will make you feel better.

I have quite the dangly undercarriage. I also used to be a fully nude lap dancer. I was frequently complimented for having "the kind of lips you want to suck on" or some such (yeah, whatever, I know) so I assure you ladies like you and I, we're not as off-putting to the general male population as some small portion of it might have you believe. A lot of people have seen me naked.

Racecardriver · 09/07/2018 10:05

Mine have started to hangs but lower since giving birth. I'm not sure how thus has been going on, I only noticed about a year ago.

bobstersmum · 09/07/2018 10:06

Fitflapflop, op hasn't said she feels like they are that huge they are swelling up and bleeding ffs.

LemonLimerance · 09/07/2018 10:08

@Tara12 did your labia go down naturally during menopause? I have heard this can happen and it's one thing putting me off getting an op.

"I used to worry about what I looked like down there, on another app I was directed to the 'great wall of vagina' and I felt pretty good about myself after that. It made me realise I was 'normal' and everything I was insecure about was pretty common!"

This is often said on here, and it makes me quite sad, because I have seen that artwork and I don't see myself represented. If anything it makes me feel worse.

Also "frilly fannies" - I'd love for mine to be frilly Grin but I just have long, hanging, unappealing labia. They get in the way. They are not sensitive or helpful in any way during sex.

LyndseyKola · 09/07/2018 10:12

Ask any man if they care what a vagina looks like, I bet they don't!

This is a nice thought but it’s just not true. Some men won’t care, just like some women won’t care what a guy’s penis looks or is shaped like. Whereas some men will care and find it affects their attraction, just like some women will when faced with a part of a man’s body they find offputting.

In an ideal world men wouldn’t care I agree! But plenty do, you only have to have a gander at any Facebook post about anything even slightly related to see the number of posts talking about someone’s vulva looking like roast beef or a smashed lasagna mockingly.

Whether or not that’s the sort of guy you’d want to shag is another matter. But i don’t think it’s helpful to pretend men don’t care when many do and you see it everywhere! Some guys prefer a more neat looking vulva, some prefer bigger labia and some don’t really have a preference.

LyndseyKola · 09/07/2018 10:17

OP, see your doctor if they’ve become so misshapen you’re having to move them away for sex, it’s obviously having an impact on your sex life and your confidence, and if they weren’t always like that maybe it would class as a birth injury and make you eligible for treatment?

You don’t have to suffer in silence, and all of the ‘my fanny looks the same’ in the world on here probably won’t make you feel any better during sex if you’re really unhappy with them yourself.

NinetySixer · 09/07/2018 10:18

Please don’t worry about your labia. I had one labia that grew 2 inches or more when I hit puberty. It was incredibly painful and in the end ripped. I had a labiaplasty on the NHS because my GP was shocked by how big and intrusive it was.

However, I’d had 10 years of a very satisfying sex life with lots is men and women and not one person commented negatively.

Gottagetmoving · 09/07/2018 10:25

I mean I know it's irrisistable sometimes on here to attempt to make yourself look superior but no... Makes people look daft

It's not about looking superior. Why expect a doctor to work out what you mean when you could get it right? Why pass on the ignorance to your daughters and perpetuate the ignorance?
You wouldn't ask a pharmacist for something for your sore throat if it was your lips that were sore.
Jus carry on renaming body parts?...that's daft!

gamerchick · 09/07/2018 10:34

It may have escaped your notice that this is a message board. Not a doctor's or a pharmacist Hmm

Picking apart someone's wording on a forum, repeatedly derailing a thread when the OP has come on looking for support because you dont like the words they used makes a person a bellend.... Or yanno, the tip of a penis....

QueenoftheNights · 09/07/2018 10:37

No. If someone does go to see their Dr it's actually quite important that they know the difference between their vagina and their labia /vulva. Otherwise, there will be a lot of time wasted and talking at cross purposed.

This is not the 'grammar police' it's actually helping the OP use the right words if she seeks help.

I have had 2 operations on my vagina post birth. Major ops. They were def not on my labia. Big difference.

nolongersurprised · 09/07/2018 10:40

*If a doctor asks about your vagina he means the birth canal, not your vulva and vice versa”.

He?

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