A favour from an unpaid lodger gone wrong

[craxmum]

Hello everyone.
Disclaimer: I am really bad at reading people's emotions and intentions (think Sheldon Cooper level of people skills), thus this topic.
The situation: A good friend asked me to house temporarily her close relatives (a couple), who found themselves in a tough situation and are, for valid reasons, unable to rent anywhere at the moment. I had a free room, so said no problem. The agreement was that they don't pay anything, but will help with minor errands around the house (the girl works occasional cleaning jobs at the moment and the guy works cash in hand at the construction site). I am usually out of my breath with two small children and a full-time job, so I thought it would be great if someone could, say, accept a delivery or unload the dishwasher.
After a month (after no offers from help from their side, and generally being very awkward), I thought I'd make a move and asked the guy if he could hang two shelves for me in the utility room. He said sure, no problem. I showed the approximate level I want them to be at. And then came home to this.
I am not quite how to take this? As "f**k off and don't ask me for favours anymore"? A bit lost. The issue is not with the shelves - I can get a handyman in to fix this - but with the message behind it.

If you feel you can’t kivk them out as you owe your friend a huge favour - then I d speak to her and say they pay nothing and do nothing - and that was nt the agreement- it was a struggle before with the kids and a full time job - and now you have two more adults !! If they were even grateful they d be helping you - can I move into your place rent free place and do bugger all ? It sounds like a best life ever lol !!
Friend and huge favour or not - they are taking the piss and your friend should be embarrassed- I would be ! Xx

Ignore the over-excited comments about squatters' rights if you are inthe UK. Anyone who originally enters a property with the permission of the landlord is not a squatter. This pair sound as if they are just lodgers so you don't need a possession order from the court to evict them and they are treated as trespassers if they stay in your house without your permission if you give them notice to leave and that the notice period has expired. As long as you have given them notice to leave, you can evict them peaceably for example, by changing the locks while they are out.

Sounds a very stressful situation for you... within a bigger even more stressful situation

Life can be very difficult sometimes. It will be better when you’re actually away from the old house and you’re settled into somewhere new, even if it doesn’t feel like it at the moment. You’ll be able to nestle in and make a new home for you and your children, and focus on building a new life, not mourning an old one that has gone and can’t come back. It’s a much healthier mental state to be in.

Your difficult ‘guests’ are at least a distraction for you, although perhaps a step too far now!

Hi ... they are arguing because they are under a lot of stress because of her visa situation.
Not everyone can hang shelves... even guys! I do the diy in my home.
They sound young and inexperienced but if I am wrong then maybe you just need to honest and open ... eg write down in lieu of payment for staying here please assist with the following ... mow lawn once a week
Assist with house cleaning etc assist with general repairs.
Explain yourself clearly and you need not make them destitute and then feel guilty about that.. just teach them that it is polite in any culture to help when you are a guest and to offer help would be appreciated rather than do so little without being asked.. good luck

How's everything?

You are a kinder, more charitable person than I would be in that situation. As a full-time worker with two small children, you have paid your moral debt to your friend by housing two relative children in your home for a month. I would be nice but firm and tell them to move on. If you feel uncomfortable about it then do as someone else suggested and tell them you have another friend coming to stay. Good luck, hope everything works out ok.

What happened?

Did you find out whether this person can actually do jobs like this. If I’d asked my dad or ex husband to hang shelves it would look a lot worse. Some people are really just not good at this kind of thing. He might have been too embarrassed to say he couldn’t do it either or worried that if he did then you’d think he was making up excuses.

He's in the construction industry so OP imagined he was handy!

Haha still doesn’t guarantee anything. I’m a music teacher and people are shocked to find out I can’t play the piano. Even got a job based on that assumption - not discussed at interview - and when I started at the school and they showed me to the piano they were slightly horrified at my lack of skill!!

I've scrolled through this thread and do wonder if it's just worth asking if he can rehang the second shelf?? I don't entirely get the massive drama about it.