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AIBU?

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Original poster

A favour from an unpaid lodger gone wrong

186 replies

craxmum · 08/07/2018 10:48

Hello everyone.
Disclaimer: I am really bad at reading people's emotions and intentions (think Sheldon Cooper level of people skills), thus this topic.
The situation: A good friend asked me to house temporarily her close relatives (a couple), who found themselves in a tough situation and are, for valid reasons, unable to rent anywhere at the moment. I had a free room, so said no problem. The agreement was that they don't pay anything, but will help with minor errands around the house (the girl works occasional cleaning jobs at the moment and the guy works cash in hand at the construction site). I am usually out of my breath with two small children and a full-time job, so I thought it would be great if someone could, say, accept a delivery or unload the dishwasher.
After a month (after no offers from help from their side, and generally being very awkward), I thought I'd make a move and asked the guy if he could hang two shelves for me in the utility room. He said sure, no problem. I showed the approximate level I want them to be at. And then came home to this.
I am not quite how to take this? As "f**k off and don't ask me for favours anymore"? A bit lost. The issue is not with the shelves - I can get a handyman in to fix this - but with the message behind it.

A favour from an unpaid lodger gone wrong
OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 09/07/2018 09:09

It sounds fantastic that he’s gone. Now you just have a young woman to deal with. I’d contact your friend and tell her he was rude / aggressive and he is no longer welcome as you have children in the house. I think your friend needs to come and console her. Perhaps this young woman will be more helpful now he is gone. Or perhaps she can now stay with your friend.

proudbrows · 09/07/2018 09:26

Hope he doesn’t come back OP!!

Jaxhog · 09/07/2018 11:09

Never offer a room to non-paying 'guests'. They always stay much. much longer than you all think they will. They never help around the house, and you always end up not speaking! I speak from experience.

Omzlas · 09/07/2018 12:16

So is the woman still there? If suggest her packing her bags and following her husband out of the door too. Do they have keys for the house? Might need to change the locks

I can't do any kind of DIY but those shelves are appaling!

Mousetolioness · 09/07/2018 12:30

Maybe the arrangement was thrust on them by your friend. Maybe they're not graetful. Or they resent the deal of room in exchange for helping out. It could be the alignment is out on ourpose or maybe never never put up shelves before and either failed to plan/prepare. Or only ever seen piss poor exqmples shelving. Or IQ languishing somewhere in the below average region! You can't expect others to see your vision, sadly and the 'it'll do' mentality can come into play if expectations not made clear.

No syggestions re what to do. Think you are safer not asking tbh and giving weeks notice, or two.

VenturingAway · 09/07/2018 13:52

Op? You still there? Hope he didn't come back!
You could offer to let her stay on if you want but tell him he's no longer welcome in your home - he should be able to get a property in his name and then they can address their relationship after that.

Sparklyglitter · 09/07/2018 17:35

Yes, sorry really do feel the underlying message is F-you Sad
I would give them a months notice - give it a while away from this event and then let them know they need to find something else! That’s so sad that they are so ungrateful of your generosity! Good Luck x

bimbobaggins · 09/07/2018 18:02

Op you sound like a sap. Who would even agree to an arrangement like this, never mind with your own children in the house. Do you even know them or are they strangers?

Don’t let him back in and get her moved on

Doodlesplodge17 · 09/07/2018 18:03

OP please come back and tell us you’ve told her he cannot come back?

madcatladyforever · 09/07/2018 18:06

Get rid of these sponging arseholes now, they are taking the maximum piss.

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 09/07/2018 18:14

You’re reading too much into this, he tried to do what you asked, he’s just crap at hanging shelves - either that or completely clueless.

They aren’t going to be much help by the looks of things, so perfectly reasonable to ask them to move elsewhere.

SimplyTwinkly · 09/07/2018 18:47

What's the latest with the sobbing girl in the bedroom?

toxic44 · 09/07/2018 18:54

You have paid your bill to your friend, AND left a good tip. You don't need blots like these two around you. Get rid - and very soon.

Typhers · 09/07/2018 18:58

Is it wrong that I’m laughing 😂 😄😄😄

I think you guessed it right, this is probably a “don’t ask me again” job.

MumsTheWordYouKnow · 09/07/2018 19:30

You’re being too nice!

SingingOutOfTune · 09/07/2018 20:18

Curious to see where this go. These kinds of situation needs absolute clear agreement from the beginning. If you are vague they might think that were doing can just fine and for used to having it easy. A month is a long time. Go talk to her and see if you asking him to do the job had anything to do with their fight. Apart from b everything I don't agree they are having it easy. It must be hard and stressful to be in very this kind of situation.

neveracceptpoortrading · 09/07/2018 20:44

Don't care about their circumstances as they certainly don't care about yours.
Change the locks, black bags outside your door and a note:
"If you can't be bothered then I can't either - Goodbye and good luck.

Superhansette · 09/07/2018 22:08

Ignore all the people being nasty on here, you don't deserve it.

You tried to pay your friend back for the favour and help a couple of people out. It's not your fault they're ungrateful twats. Ask them to leave (if he hasn't already) and forget about them, you've obviously got more important things to think about!

bubblegumunicorn · 09/07/2018 22:16

Hey my DH works for the home office in the visa and immigration dept. You are liable for a fine if you keep them in your house as even though it is temporary they still are lodging with you! You should give the home office a call and find out your rights as you could end up with a fine for having them stay with you! 03000699799 they open at 9 please call them and they can help!

manicmij · 09/07/2018 23:56

Defo tell them to leave. That effort is a disgrace. If he doesn't know how he should have been honest about it. They are just free loading off you.

Ilovemypantry · 10/07/2018 00:36

What’s happened OP.? Did he come back? Did the woman stop crying? Is she staying or going?

schoty77 · 10/07/2018 01:08

I don't mean to offend, but he/they sound.. a bit thick? Either that or they're taking advantage of you. Don't let them! Out they go!

prettypinkpeonie · 10/07/2018 05:25

Ive got a feeling OP has decided what she’s doing or now feels threatened by the free loading BF and daren’t respond, as this is just the kind of post the DM love.

It would be interesting to know what the outcome was, but guessing it’ll ever be known.

Leapfrog44 · 10/07/2018 10:28

I don't think it's rudeness it looks like imbecility..?

ralfeesmum · 10/07/2018 10:34

Get these two freeloaders OUT as fast as possible and as legally as possible.

If they have the nerve to claim Squatters Rights (and they may very well) then you have a helluva job to shift them via lawful methods.

So, the guy does Cash-in-Hand work on building sites? That sounds flaky & dodgy for a start. They are taking you for a sucker, I'm sorry to say.

You don't have to be a Sherlock Holmes to work out how these two came to be "unable to rent anywhere at the moment" - they're probably flagged up on some kind of landlords blacklist.

It sounds as if you've been taken advantage of by Wayne & Waynetta Slob......

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