A favour from an unpaid lodger gone wrong

[craxmum]

Hello everyone.
Disclaimer: I am really bad at reading people's emotions and intentions (think Sheldon Cooper level of people skills), thus this topic.
The situation: A good friend asked me to house temporarily her close relatives (a couple), who found themselves in a tough situation and are, for valid reasons, unable to rent anywhere at the moment. I had a free room, so said no problem. The agreement was that they don't pay anything, but will help with minor errands around the house (the girl works occasional cleaning jobs at the moment and the guy works cash in hand at the construction site). I am usually out of my breath with two small children and a full-time job, so I thought it would be great if someone could, say, accept a delivery or unload the dishwasher.
After a month (after no offers from help from their side, and generally being very awkward), I thought I'd make a move and asked the guy if he could hang two shelves for me in the utility room. He said sure, no problem. I showed the approximate level I want them to be at. And then came home to this.
I am not quite how to take this? As "f**k off and don't ask me for favours anymore"? A bit lost. The issue is not with the shelves - I can get a handyman in to fix this - but with the message behind it.

Dont let him fix them. Send them on their way. Dont apologise. Dont explain. Just I need my room back by the end of the week. Goodbye.

You could get your friend to tell them.

@Oddcat
Can't say this saddens me :) The sale is ordered by the family court (I had a mesher order until one of the children is of compulsory school age), but I don't have a burning desire for it to conclude asap, as I have nowhere to go.

There is no need to have a confrontation with them, you just need to TALK to them and tell them what you want them to do. Don’t be wish washy. Give them proper instructions.

Feck them out! It doesn’t matter what their issues with renting are; you were kind enough to give them a break and they repaid it by basically laughing at you.
Pair of halfwits.

Isn't asymmetrical shelving trendy any more then?

I genuinely wanted to check if anyone thinks there can be another explanation apart from pure rudeness.

1. Staggering incompetence and laziness. You'd be able to tell- he'd be completely useless at everything.

1. He doesn't want to do any more jobs so wants to appear useless- not so much of a 'fuck off' as an 'she's probably daft enough to believe I'm this crap'. My money is on this one.

Is it safe to have strangers living in close proximity to your children?

Why on earth did you agree to house two people, for free?

And you have DC living with you too!

Very poor judgment.

Many people have lodgers. The couple have effectively been given a reference by OP's friend. I am sure OP is not leaving her children with them unattended.

I could show you some shelves my husband has put up OP. The message behind them says he is truly shit at DIY. I hope you manage to sort your situation.

Eh... Where's the danger? The girl is a younger sister of someone I know and have been in close contact since pre-school. I have never been in contact with her myself as an adults as she's 12 years younger than us, but if their family wanted me murdered in my sleep, they have missed so many great opportunities when I stayed in their family home for sleepovers as a kid.

Tell them your good friend Charolais is visiting from America and needs the room.

No, of course the children are not left unattended with them. I have full time childcare. And it is not a favour I'd expect in return for a room anyway, it is a proper job.

You didn’t know the woman well, as adults, and didn’t know the man at all.

There are no benefits in the arrangement for you or your DC, just costs and risks. One risk was that they could stay ages and cost you money and contribute nothing. As is happening.

It’s unlikely they present a risk to your and DCs’ safety, yes, but here you are in a pretty difficult situation because of your decision.

There’s no need to continue to house them as a favour to your friend - kick them out and explain to your friend why. She should be duly disappointed and angry with them that she wasted her favour on them!

Next time they are out pack their bags and shove on door step with a note. They might not be able to rent but can get a b and b. Staggered anybody would take somebody in like this, unless they were close friends.

When they come back tell them that they need to move out in a week as you are going to take your time preparing the house for sale, and need all the space, so you can redecorate and move things around. Don't take a breath, keep talking saying how it was nice to see thm, and that you hope they will do well with the visa application then get up smile and walk away before they come up with excuses.
Change the subject each time they start, just repeat yes one week to find a new place, it'll be a good thing, then change the subject to how warm it is, when will the rain start, must do some washing, I'm off to cook dinner for my children etc etc.

She is not illegal. She held a visa as a spouse of an EU citizen (i.e. this guy, they are married), but when it came to applying for permanent residence, the Home Office refused her as they could not find any documentary proof that they are still married (despite issuing a spouse visa to her twice before with no qualms). I checked the references with their solicitor, I was not willing to take a personal risk to allow someone genuinely illegal

Even if they genuinely can't find proof they are married

Is there a good reason why he, as an EU citizen and legally allowed in the UK, can't rent a house in his name and move her in?

Pack their bags and change the locks - cheeky fuckers of the highest order!

They sound like takers - not paying any rent/utility costs and not paying tax or NI - for that alone I would kick them out. But I think you have a perfect excuse to get them out without it getting nasty, by saying you are being forced to get the house on the market earlier that you were expecting for legal reasons, i.e. the mesher order coming into force earlier that you expected. This gives you a way out without things getting personal. Good luck Op, you sound very kind.

@TattyTshirt
I never rented but I assume that if two people are planning to live in a property, both have to be declared? I.e. you cannot rent in your name and then move a dozen of people in?

Put it this way OP the Home Office won't house her. There will be very good reason for that. They will see it as you housing an illegal immigrant. Get rid before you have to bear the cost of a couple of shady characters.

Nothing you have posted show them as morally upstanding citizens. Honestly!

@TattyTshirt
The Home Office is not supposed to "house" anyone, they can only confirm if someone has an active leave to remain. I had a blip with my own visa renewal earlier this year, where the refusal letter stated "you claim to be divorced from a British citizen, but you have not provided a death certificate to support this claim". My visa is work-related and in one of the "awww" occupations, and is not linked to my marital status in any way, by the way, and I have provided a sealed decree absolute. I guess I also was a shady character for a week, thankfully I had ~3K spare for a premium same-day re-application appointment .

Is the favour for your friend or for them?

If friend is no longer part of it, I'd give them however many days notice I wanted to and be done with it.

If the favour is very much for the friend, I'd do the same as above but be very clear with her why so that she doesn't think you're being horrible about it.