Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

A favour from an unpaid lodger gone wrong

186 replies

craxmum · 08/07/2018 10:48

Hello everyone.
Disclaimer: I am really bad at reading people's emotions and intentions (think Sheldon Cooper level of people skills), thus this topic.
The situation: A good friend asked me to house temporarily her close relatives (a couple), who found themselves in a tough situation and are, for valid reasons, unable to rent anywhere at the moment. I had a free room, so said no problem. The agreement was that they don't pay anything, but will help with minor errands around the house (the girl works occasional cleaning jobs at the moment and the guy works cash in hand at the construction site). I am usually out of my breath with two small children and a full-time job, so I thought it would be great if someone could, say, accept a delivery or unload the dishwasher.
After a month (after no offers from help from their side, and generally being very awkward), I thought I'd make a move and asked the guy if he could hang two shelves for me in the utility room. He said sure, no problem. I showed the approximate level I want them to be at. And then came home to this.
I am not quite how to take this? As "f**k off and don't ask me for favours anymore"? A bit lost. The issue is not with the shelves - I can get a handyman in to fix this - but with the message behind it.

A favour from an unpaid lodger gone wrong
OP posts:
Returnofthesmileybar · 08/07/2018 11:28

Your favour is well paid!! Tell the piss takers they are out, they broke the deal and are making a good out of you, if they can afford rent thru can afford a hostel. Get them out today!

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 08/07/2018 11:30

OP, please listen up, you have honoured the favour, but it hasn't worked out. Time for them to go, no amount of talking is going to improve their stay. Please be kind to yourself, they will survive without you.

MildlyMiserable · 08/07/2018 11:33

You’ve done a month already = moral debt repaid. Get rid, don’t get lumbered with them over historical feelings of guilt, just tell them and your friend you thought the arrangement would work but it doesn’t, no further explanation needed (if anyone asks for more show picture and explain this is the only input to household since moving in).

Branleuse · 08/07/2018 11:33

i think its worth discussing it with your good friend and explain that they havent helped at all, and fuckied up the one simple thing you asked for

purplecorkheart · 08/07/2018 11:35

You have repaid the favour. There is a big difference between making a few phonecalls/speaking to the right people and putting up with two strangers who do nothing.

Out the door they go today. Don't fall for any of the crap they will give you when you tell them "oh that was a joke" "we will do more to help" "we will pay" or "its just his sense of humour". I would however tell them today rather than tonight to give them a chance to arrange airb&b.

Sadly you will need to change the locks when they go.

QuimReaper · 08/07/2018 11:38

How absolutely bizarre!

I'm sure this is a stupid question, but the shelf hasn't just slipped sideways on its bracket has it? Otherwise it's an absolutely pathological fuck-you!

I'd call him into the utility room and ask him why on earth he hung it like that for a start. I'd just have to know what he said.

thecatneuterer · 08/07/2018 11:39

It's still very possible to rent despite the 'right to rent' legislation. Many private landlords simply don't bother with it (they should, but they don't), particularly those taking in lodgers. And if the man is able to rent he could surely just take a tenancy in his own name. And you don't need it for Airbnb.

happypoobum · 08/07/2018 11:39

Off they fuck

Oddcat · 08/07/2018 11:43

If she still isn't legally allowed to be here then could she be working illegally ? Could you be accused of harbouring an illegal immigrant ?

Original poster
craxmum · 08/07/2018 11:45

@QuimReaper
No, firmly and properly attached just as it is.
It is the total bizarreness of the situation that made me wonder if I misunderstood.
My dad suggested there may be something in the wall that prevented him drilling the hole in the 'right' place (like a steel beam or something)... But surely then you just move the shelf up/down a bit? Or ask what to do? I am useless with things like this, therefore asking the hive mind. :)
In any case, I hope he is not building anything important as his main occupation Hmm

OP posts:
charlestonchaplin · 08/07/2018 11:52

Some people are slapdash with their own things.It may not have occurred to him that looks are important to you too. Give him another chance and continue to review the situation.

TattyTshirt · 08/07/2018 11:53

They are both earning money, not paying tax, and freeloading off the friend of a friend with no intention of pulling their weight or contributing financially.

It's time for them to move on to find another mug to leech off OP. You were very kind to offer them a roof, short term, but this is where the buck stops.

QuimReaper · 08/07/2018 11:53

crax that's why I'd have to ask him what the heck he was thinking first - what he's done is so not a solution! If he absolutely felt this was the best solution to some unforeseen problem, I'd think he'd at least have been very forthcoming with an explanation.

Original poster
craxmum · 08/07/2018 11:55

@Oddcat
No, I checked it with my own solicitor. I am fine as long as I am not a commercial landlord, and just allowing friends to coach surf (we agreed they can stay until the end of summer only, as the house goes on the market after this as a part of divorce settlement anyway).

OP posts:
QuimReaper · 08/07/2018 11:55

charleston it's hardly just aesthetic though, it's not just a case of slightly sloppy execution!

trojanpony · 08/07/2018 11:59
  1. You are reading this exactly right
  2. Your debt is paid in full

we agreed they can stay until the end of summer only

Fuck that! They alphabet voided that offer. these two are taking the piss. Give them until the end of the week and then tell them to get out.

Original poster
craxmum · 08/07/2018 12:01

@ TattyTshirt
I actually don't know if they pay tax or not. I know the guy works cash in hand / self employed because he does not have a bank account (I asked him if I am to expect any important correspondence like bank statements etc - because my dogs for unknown reason get really excited at the sight of the post, and no mail cages so far saved my correspondence from being 'read' by them Grin)

OP posts:
BewareOfDragons · 08/07/2018 12:02

You have repaid the favour, and they have taken the piss in response.

He will never be a permanent construction hire if that's his level of 'diy' knowledge and commitment to it, either.

Pisstakers.

A month is more than enough time for them to have done right by you putting them up. Tell your friend they have to go now.

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 08/07/2018 12:04

Nah he’s taking the piss.

If there was some sort of beam or running wires then they run vertically and he’s managed to fit the top shelf ok then common sense would say that there’d be no obstruction to hang a shelf directly underneath drilling the same distance from the window. Its slightly harder to drill into brick than the mortar in between, but ffs you just put some shoulder weight behind the drill - I’ve managed this an I’m a 5ft woman with bingo wings!

Notquiteagandt · 08/07/2018 12:06

Cheap air b&b or airb&b for them pronto i think. Visa wont be an issue.

Re:something stopping him drilling in wall lile metal rod or pipe etc surely hed just drill an other hole for the bracket further down on shelf so it still aligns though?

KurriKurri · 08/07/2018 12:08

The agreement was that they could stay in return for some jobs and help around the house. They haven;t kept up their side of the bargain - so out they go. I would ask him why exactly he put your shelf up like that - why did he imagine that would be acceptable to anyone ?

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 08/07/2018 12:10

Boot them straight out (as in leave tomorrow), and make clear to your friend that they were no help whatsoever.

I suspect the bodge job was not malicious but just a reflection of the uselessness and slackness that has left them barely employed and living in a strangers house. I certainly wouldn't let him loose on your house with a drill to correct it!

StaplesCorner · 08/07/2018 12:10

My dad suggested there may be something in the wall that prevented him drilling the hole in the 'right' place (like a steel beam or something) both my husband and my builder would have done this - I mean, your lodgers are cheeky fuckers - but I would have been presented with that shelving arrangement and a lot of "but you never said you DIDN'T want it like that" and a great deal of resentment and hurt.

So by all means get them out of your house, but I wouldn't be surprised if he thinks the shelves are perfect.

lillylollylandy · 08/07/2018 12:11

I agree, they're not honouring their end of the bargain so time to get them out.

TattyTshirt · 08/07/2018 12:12

I actually don't know if they pay tax or not. I know the guy works cash in hand / self employed because he does not have a bank account

He's a self employed builder and he can't manage to put up 2 shelves?

He's working cash in hand and he has no bank account. Does that sound like he's a businessman who pays into the pot to you?

And she's obviously an illegal immigrant - or at least has no permission to stay - so she is not allowed to work within the UK. So she's working cash in hand too.

Swipe left for the next trending thread