Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to disagree on being too old to be a mum

625 replies

thefinn · 08/07/2018 00:33

I guess that's pretty much it. DH and I have been happily married for a decade now, were together for five years before marrying. We are happy as it is with our pets but I would love to be a mum. I get down however anytime if I mention this to family and friends however. They all feel we are too old, both having turned 34 this summer... it makes me sad but a part of me feels I am being U and maybe everyone has a point.So wwyd?

OP posts:
Nothinglefttochoose · 11/03/2019 04:18

34 is not too old! I’d say 40 plus is pushing it though. Although they do call it a geriatric pregnancy when you hit 35!

IdaBWells · 11/03/2019 04:24

I had my kids at 31, 34 and 37. Miscarried at 39.

sparkling123 · 11/03/2019 04:55

Definitely not too old... these same people will probably tell you in a few years it's a shame you never had kids.

SpeckledyHen · 11/03/2019 05:01

ZOMBIE THREAD

Purplecatshopaholic · 11/03/2019 05:18

Didn't happen for me, but both my sister and SIL had my fab nieces and nephews when in their late thirties.

Cazz81 · 11/03/2019 05:18

Definitely not old. Where I am- SW London average 1st time mum is in 40s (i was informed at Nct). I’m in my late 30s and majority of my gfs still haven’t settled down / have kids.

rody111 · 11/03/2019 05:30

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

PositiveDiscipline · 11/03/2019 07:55

Ignore them and crack on. I was expecting you to say 40 something.
I had no.1 at 35 and no.2 at 39. Not too old at all.
I do have views on age though. I don't think the menopause and babies are a good combo. I think over 45 and having a baby is not a great idea.

Doyouneedthetoilet · 11/03/2019 08:15

I was 38 with our first and 44 with our second. Not through choice though, but wouldn't be without them. You are definitely not too old.

madcatladyforever · 11/03/2019 08:16

Too old? That's insane, that's normal now.
My sister had a baby at 50 as is doing ok.

Bluesheep8 · 11/03/2019 08:29

34 is no age at all op

TinyTear · 11/03/2019 08:31

i was 38 when i had my first and 41 when i had my second...

34 is NOT too old!

caughtinanet · 11/03/2019 08:42

This thread is an example of why MN doesn't need to keep every single thing ever posted, months and months later someone somehow finds it and posts a comment that has been posted a billion times before and people keep saying the same thing.

It's a zombie thread people, nothing new to add

OlderAussieMum · 11/03/2019 11:58

My first was born 3 days before I turned 40, my second was born when I was 42.

Kids are now aged 2 and 8 months.

Nothing wrong with being an older parent, but being mid 30's is not old.

BarooSaidTheBear · 11/03/2019 12:00

I think the cut-off point is about 42-43 but that is purely arbitrary and my own feelings.

I had mine at 36 and 38.

You are the perfect age. Go for it. But only have one.

Ifartglitterybaubles · 11/03/2019 12:03

Nonsense.
I had ds1 at 32, dd at 35 and ds2 at 38.

Ifartglitterybaubles · 11/03/2019 12:03

Gah! Just noticed its a zombie thread.

Lifeonmars77 · 11/03/2019 12:09

You're nowhere near too old! I had DS1 at 34 and DS2 at 39. I think a little more life experience can only be a good thing and can help you be a better parent.

I did all my partying, travelling and making questionable decisions in my twenties so I can chill out, knowing I've learnt a few life lessons and concentrate on being a mum and I don't feel I'm missing out Smile

Womaninnit · 11/03/2019 12:10

Don’t be ridiculous

ILoveBray · 11/03/2019 12:38

You wouldn't even be considered a geriatric pregnancy at 34. How odd people would say that. I think mid forties is where most people would consider someone being a bit too old but that's more due to fertility really.

Please don't listen to anyone else, if you and your husband want a family, that's your business not theirs!

Whattodonut · 11/03/2019 13:11

Average age for first time mum in UK is 29. Which means that roughly half of new mums are under 29 and half are over...
I know maybe 5 people who had a kids under 30 (including my mum!) All my family and friends waited.
34 is not old. Not by a long way!

Penguin34 · 23/03/2019 20:32

I'm 35 and my husband is 50, we have a 5 month old daughter. I'd say most of the girls in my nct group were the same age as me.
My other half says he's too old to have another but I disagree.

You're not too old in the slightest.

I'm sure I read that there are more people having babies over 30 than under

MyLonIna · 23/03/2019 21:10

For me the stopping point would be 38. That was when I noticed my tiredness growing and my patience lessening. That might just be me though as I know older mothers who seem happy, although I would dread being in their position. Only you can decide this.

At 34 you have time for a baby and also can give them a sibling or 2 Smile

bookworm9229 · 23/03/2019 21:15

I had mine 34 , 36 and 38
Never crossed my mind that I was old .

SwingoutSisterSledge · 23/03/2019 21:23

I had my second baby at 34 and third at 38 no way are you too old .