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Original poster

AIBU to disagree on being too old to be a mum

625 replies

thefinn · 08/07/2018 00:33

I guess that's pretty much it. DH and I have been happily married for a decade now, were together for five years before marrying. We are happy as it is with our pets but I would love to be a mum. I get down however anytime if I mention this to family and friends however. They all feel we are too old, both having turned 34 this summer... it makes me sad but a part of me feels I am being U and maybe everyone has a point.So wwyd?

OP posts:
Nothinglefttochoose · 11/03/2019 04:18

34 is not too old! I’d say 40 plus is pushing it though. Although they do call it a geriatric pregnancy when you hit 35!

IdaBWells · 11/03/2019 04:24

I had my kids at 31, 34 and 37. Miscarried at 39.

sparkling123 · 11/03/2019 04:55

Definitely not too old... these same people will probably tell you in a few years it's a shame you never had kids.

SpeckledyHen · 11/03/2019 05:01

ZOMBIE THREAD

Purplecatshopaholic · 11/03/2019 05:18

Didn't happen for me, but both my sister and SIL had my fab nieces and nephews when in their late thirties.

Cazz81 · 11/03/2019 05:18

Definitely not old. Where I am- SW London average 1st time mum is in 40s (i was informed at Nct). I’m in my late 30s and majority of my gfs still haven’t settled down / have kids.

rody111 · 11/03/2019 05:30

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

PositiveDiscipline · 11/03/2019 07:55

Ignore them and crack on. I was expecting you to say 40 something.
I had no.1 at 35 and no.2 at 39. Not too old at all.
I do have views on age though. I don't think the menopause and babies are a good combo. I think over 45 and having a baby is not a great idea.

Doyouneedthetoilet · 11/03/2019 08:15

I was 38 with our first and 44 with our second. Not through choice though, but wouldn't be without them. You are definitely not too old.

madcatladyforever · 11/03/2019 08:16

Too old? That's insane, that's normal now.
My sister had a baby at 50 as is doing ok.

Bluesheep8 · 11/03/2019 08:29

34 is no age at all op

TinyTear · 11/03/2019 08:31

i was 38 when i had my first and 41 when i had my second...

34 is NOT too old!

caughtinanet · 11/03/2019 08:42

This thread is an example of why MN doesn't need to keep every single thing ever posted, months and months later someone somehow finds it and posts a comment that has been posted a billion times before and people keep saying the same thing.

It's a zombie thread people, nothing new to add

OlderAussieMum · 11/03/2019 11:58

My first was born 3 days before I turned 40, my second was born when I was 42.

Kids are now aged 2 and 8 months.

Nothing wrong with being an older parent, but being mid 30's is not old.

BarooSaidTheBear · 11/03/2019 12:00

I think the cut-off point is about 42-43 but that is purely arbitrary and my own feelings.

I had mine at 36 and 38.

You are the perfect age. Go for it. But only have one.

Ifartglitterybaubles · 11/03/2019 12:03

Nonsense.
I had ds1 at 32, dd at 35 and ds2 at 38.

Ifartglitterybaubles · 11/03/2019 12:03

Gah! Just noticed its a zombie thread.

Lifeonmars77 · 11/03/2019 12:09

You're nowhere near too old! I had DS1 at 34 and DS2 at 39. I think a little more life experience can only be a good thing and can help you be a better parent.

I did all my partying, travelling and making questionable decisions in my twenties so I can chill out, knowing I've learnt a few life lessons and concentrate on being a mum and I don't feel I'm missing out Smile

Womaninnit · 11/03/2019 12:10

Don’t be ridiculous

ILoveBray · 11/03/2019 12:38

You wouldn't even be considered a geriatric pregnancy at 34. How odd people would say that. I think mid forties is where most people would consider someone being a bit too old but that's more due to fertility really.

Please don't listen to anyone else, if you and your husband want a family, that's your business not theirs!

Whattodonut · 11/03/2019 13:11

Average age for first time mum in UK is 29. Which means that roughly half of new mums are under 29 and half are over...
I know maybe 5 people who had a kids under 30 (including my mum!) All my family and friends waited.
34 is not old. Not by a long way!

Penguin34 · 23/03/2019 20:32

I'm 35 and my husband is 50, we have a 5 month old daughter. I'd say most of the girls in my nct group were the same age as me.
My other half says he's too old to have another but I disagree.

You're not too old in the slightest.

I'm sure I read that there are more people having babies over 30 than under

MyLonIna · 23/03/2019 21:10

For me the stopping point would be 38. That was when I noticed my tiredness growing and my patience lessening. That might just be me though as I know older mothers who seem happy, although I would dread being in their position. Only you can decide this.

At 34 you have time for a baby and also can give them a sibling or 2 Smile

bookworm9229 · 23/03/2019 21:15

I had mine 34 , 36 and 38
Never crossed my mind that I was old .

SwingoutSisterSledge · 23/03/2019 21:23

I had my second baby at 34 and third at 38 no way are you too old .