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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to disagree on being too old to be a mum

625 replies

thefinn · 08/07/2018 00:33

I guess that's pretty much it. DH and I have been happily married for a decade now, were together for five years before marrying. We are happy as it is with our pets but I would love to be a mum. I get down however anytime if I mention this to family and friends however. They all feel we are too old, both having turned 34 this summer... it makes me sad but a part of me feels I am being U and maybe everyone has a point.So wwyd?

OP posts:
SinkGirl · 10/03/2019 22:14

That’s bonkers. Almost all of my friends had their first in their mid 30s or beyond - I had my twins at 34.

starsparkle08 · 10/03/2019 22:17

Your posting this to make yourself feel good . Get on with it your age is fine - fuck off

SinkGirl · 10/03/2019 22:18

Bloody zombie - teach me not to check the date

mrscee · 10/03/2019 22:20

I Was 34 when I had twins you aren't too old.

FirstGirlonMars · 10/03/2019 22:25

Among my family and friends, it's on the young side. The world's oldest natural mother (no fertility treatment) was 59. So how on earth can 34 be 'too old'??

happymummy12345 · 10/03/2019 22:27

My mum had her last baby at 43.

Hammondisback · 10/03/2019 22:38

This is madness! How very old-fashioned they are to think that 34 is too old! I had my DD aged 37 and thought I’d be the oldest mum at the school gates - there were at least 3 that were my age and one who was two years older. If you feel well and are fit and healthy, you should go for it.

BlimeyCalmDown · 10/03/2019 22:39

I work with new mums and early to mid 30's is the average. Ones in their 20's are less common. Most people (in UK) have them later these days due to careers/more choices etc.

MitziK · 10/03/2019 22:41

34 is supposed to be the best time to have a first child for various reasons - financial, social, health, strength and maturity of both partners, etc.

Go for it.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 10/03/2019 22:42

THIRTY FOUR???
Are they having a fucking LAUGH?

Just ignore the ignorant bastards.

I had my first at 40 and second at 45. It wasn't what I would have ideally chosen, but them's the breaks - didn't meet DH until I was already 36!

You'll be fine. Have your babies and leave the ignorant ones out of your decisions and life in general if you can!

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 10/03/2019 22:43

ARRGHHHH! ZOMBIE THREAD!!

vdbfamily · 10/03/2019 22:44

I started at 34 and had 3. Don't listen to family. It is about what you and DH want.

pineapplebryanbrown · 10/03/2019 22:44

I had my first at 21 and last at 30. For me, i think 30 was a good age and earlier a bit young. I had the first in my final year at university. That said I'm very glad that my parents have been young enough to have many years of active fun with my now adult children. I would have felt sad had they missed out on each other.

Womaninred · 10/03/2019 22:44

I thought you were going to say I’m 48 and or close to menopause. Seems perfect age and you’ve been together for years so know each other well. I always thought 32 be great age... because I had. One closer to 40!

Womaninred · 10/03/2019 22:45

Ah zombie thread. Hope OP comes back saying she’s due!

BusyMumHere · 10/03/2019 22:48

Ffs how can 34 be too old ??!!! I am astonished anyone would even think of that !

TheSassyAssassin · 10/03/2019 22:51

This is a zombie thread and by my reckoning OP could be 8 mths pregnant by now. Congrats if you are Grin

Rufus27 · 10/03/2019 22:51

I have just turned 47 and have a one and two year old. I am not the oldest mum I know!

AuntVanya · 10/03/2019 22:52

Had first at 34, second at 40.

Drogosnextwife · 10/03/2019 22:53

@thefinn

So op. Have you made a decision about having a baby. An update would be brilliant.

ScarlettSahara · 10/03/2019 23:01

ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT

neveradullmoment99 · 10/03/2019 23:02

mmm...I had my last baby at 43. No you are not too old.

DaisyDuvetDays · 10/03/2019 23:32

So OP... seven months later..... did you get down to it? Grin

I'm your age and my baby is eight months. Extreme cuteness. Perfect antidote to 12 years of the workplace Grin

ViolaD77 · 11/03/2019 01:17

I'm 34, married, no kids yet.... In my family /friends it's 'normal' that we don't have kids yet. Mum and dad had me at 38, my friends who are my age don't have kids yet either..... Ignore those around you, they sound ignorant

Vehivle · 11/03/2019 02:30

34 is young! ! My MIL had her first at 36 and her last at 41. Just go for it! And dont get disheartened and think the nay sayers are right if you don't fall pregnant right away. It takes on average 6 months to fall pregnant. Enjoy the "trying" for a baby in the meantime ;)