To ask this man if this child is his daughter?

[wildsummerdreams]

I just saw a man carrying a child (she 3-4) against her will. She was throwing a tantrum and trying to free herself. It would seem like a normal scene if you have kids, but I could not help but think the worst, so I followed them and ask him if he was her dad. He stopped (good sign) looked at me and when he realised what I was thinking, told me to not be ridiculous. I asked the child directly if that was her dad, but she kept on crying. Then they wen off and he continue to carry her against her will. I watched them for a bit and took a picture of them just in case. Please tell me I'm not a total nutter and what would you have done or what to do if something like this happens.

The girl didn't have any shoes on and they were crossing Kentish Town high street.

You sound like a stalker

Did you expect him to say 'no, I'm a kidnapper'?

I wouldn't ask the adult with a tantrumming child if they were the parent. They might be another carer. And asking the child like that will frighten and confuse them.

You could have followed them quietly if you were really worried.

Since having a toddler I've been fairly horrified how nobody does ever bat an eyelid at an adult carrying a fighting, screaming child somewhere against the child's will. Even if e.g. it is a woman carrying them alone but the child is screaming Daddddy!!

I think you did a good thing to check.

Reminds me of my boy. When he was tantruming and his dad carried him off he'd flail and kick screaming "that man go away! Put me back, that man go away!". By god they got some dodgy looks... So no, I'd have probably left them to it.

Sorry but you are in fact a “total nutter”. What the hell were you thinking?!

Is it because he was a man? Therefore almost definitely an evil kidnapped?

Please tell me I'm not a total nutter

Oh I think you've summed yourself up nicely

If you did that to my husband I’d be livid.

It’s hot and there are tantrumming children aplenty at the moment. Would you have assumed that about a woman? Asked the child if that was mummy?

Would you have asked a woman with a tantruming child if she was the mother?

I’d he said no, he was her uncle, what would you have done?

Also guarantee you wouldn't have questioned a woman. If she had said no, it could have been because he was an uncle, mum's new partner, dad's new partner, friend of parents etc.!

You did the right thing

Wow you sound a bit hysterical

I’d tell you I’m not so nice terms to do one if you ever did the same to me.

No tantruming child wants to be carried ‘against their will’ as you put it.

Have you ever dealt with a child having a tantrum? They can be very forceful

I'm sure you meant well, but that was a strange thing to do.

Actually, the more I think about this the more angered I feel. Do you stop every person with a child in a bad mood?

There's no way you would've stopped her if the parent was a woman. Get a grip.

I have told my children that if they are ever picked up and taken away against their will then they are to go crazy and cause as much fuss as possible.

Stuff like this is why men want the kid to have their surname. Nobody asks a woman if its her kid.

And as for the posters saying you would not have done it if it was a woman.

Ffs. Look at the fucking statistics of men versus women when it comes to child kidnap / rape / murder

DS is 6 and Autistic. I once carried him
out of a service station and he was totally hysterical, kicking and punching me. I am always amazed no-one called the police to be honest!

This has reminded me of the Jamie Bulger case where the people who saw him crying with the boys felt guilty they didn't stop them. It doesn't hurt to check if you think something is not right.

Why would he have to be her dad, rather than an uncle/friend of the family/godparent/carer?

So just because he was a man he must be a kidnapper?

You were out of order and lucky he was a reasonable guy

Total nutter