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Boarding school syndrome: The symptoms and long-term psychological effects
Boarding School Syndrome is increasingly recognized as a specific syndrome by psychologists, psychotherapists and counsellors. Many adults are suffering long-term emotional or behavioural difficulties, which stem from having lost normal family life through being sent away to boarding school as children.
In the British Journal of Psychotherapy, Dr Joy Schaverien identified a set of symptoms common among early boarders that she calls “Boarding School Syndrome”.
In Boarding School Syndrome: The Psychological Trauma of the 'Privileged' Child, Dr Joy Schaverien writes:
“Early rupture with home has a lasting influence on attachment patterns. When a child is brought up at home, the family adapts to accommodate it: growing up involves a constant negotiation between parents and children. But an institution cannot rebuild itself around one child. Instead, the child must adapt to the system. Combined with the sudden and repeated loss of parents, siblings, pets and toys, this causes the child to shut itself off from the need for intimacy. This can cause major problems in adulthood: depression, an inability to talk about or understand emotions, the urge to escape from or to destroy intimate relationships. These symptoms mostly affect early boarders: those who start when they are older are less likely to be harmed.”
Sufferers' symptoms are often hidden behind a brittle façade of competence. Shame from having had - what others perceive as a privileged start - can prevent them from acknowledging their distress. Such adults have difficulty asking for help and can experience all manner of intimate issues in relationships. They are frequently emotionally cut-off as a result of living in an atmosphere where it was normal to keep silent about emotional stress.
The Aspects and Symptoms of Boarding School Syndrome
Some of the presenting attitudes may include:
self-reliance
high moral values
pride in endurance
acute discomfort in asking for help
an arrogant or patronising manner
denial of pain
overachiever but may underestimate self
An ex-boarder could present the following symptoms:
depression
anxiety
low self-esteem
drugs and alcohol misuse and other addictions
burn-out
relationship issues - can only identify love towards own children
obsessive behaviour
a need to control