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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

england match clash

150 replies

Storminateacup74 · 05/07/2018 22:33

I am going to see a show in London with some friends this saturday afternoon. We booked a yr ago I never get to go anywhere child free as hubby finds hard to cope with the kids so when I was invited this year instead of saying no I said yes this was back in August last year. Obviously now England are playing and he has said that under no circumstances can I now go as he needs to watch the game without the kids in peace. Also unfortunately my son is in a dance competition at 3pm on the same day which I thought may have been changed but they are not changing it because they say that is a different clientele people who watch the football, and halls and examiners have been booked. Maybe I should have checked with him first but he would have said no regardless of the world cup. He says he will go out tomorrow night and not come home till sat pm so I can't go. He is a huge football fan and says that I can go to see this show in London anytime and he will let me go another weekend. As if it is as easy as 1,2,3 to get tickets... AIBU standing my ground or is he being unreasonable making me change something that has been booked for ages??

OP posts:

Believeitornot · 06/07/2018 07:13

I’m seeing a show on Saturday afternoon and evening (is it the cursed child )

And dh has kindly said it’s fine, he will take care of the dcs and watch the footie with them no problem.

And that’s why he’s awesome.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 06/07/2018 07:13

Agree with everyone else. He’s being a selfish arse.

I’m loving the football and totally understand the England fever, but he had agreed to something a year ago and needs to see it through or he needs to make alternative childcare arrangements.

It’s not as though he won’t be able to watch the match anyway.

PositiveVibez · 06/07/2018 07:13

Oh my god. You are actually married to a horrible person.

He sounds like an utter cock.

If he can't cope with kids then why the fuck did you have more than one with this piece of shit.

You must have known that he wouldn't allow you to have a life.

Fuck him off.

Shoxfordian · 06/07/2018 07:15

First of all; he finds it hard to cope so you never get any childfree time. Why is it so hard for him to parent? He does realise he's a parent right? Your children are as much his responsibility as yours.

He's threatening to fuck off out anyway so let him and tell him not to bother coming back. Is there anyone else you can leave the kids with if he does do this ?

Grandmaswagsbag · 06/07/2018 07:18

Oh my god. Really people live like this? He can watch football with the kids in the house, pop out to drop son off and pause the game. You will have to cancel something booked A YEAR in advance and presumably lose the cost of the ticket which can’t be cheap. Let you go? Fuck him.

Grandmaswagsbag · 06/07/2018 07:21

If he goes out and leaves you unable to go I would honestly lock the doors and he wouldn’t be coming back. That is a horrid vindictive thing to say/do.

derxa · 06/07/2018 07:27

I am making a prediction. OP won't come back.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 06/07/2018 07:36

He's a huge something,, never mind football fan. Just think, kick the dick into touch and he won't be able to tell you what to do.

flabtofab · 06/07/2018 07:45

If I were you, I would tell him to go out tonight and when he came home on tomorrow night I would have his stuff packed and waiting outside for him.

What a know!!

Clionba · 06/07/2018 07:49

What a nasty piece of work.
Why are you with him?
Brilliant advice on this thread, OP, take it!!

LittleDoritt · 06/07/2018 07:52

Why do some women put up with this shit??

ProfessorMoody · 06/07/2018 07:53

I'd tell him if he goes out, he doesn't return. Horrid, abusive man.

Heihei · 06/07/2018 07:56

What a shit dad and husband. Why doesn’t he pitch in with the kids? We all struggle sometimes but that’s the reality of having dc. He could really make watching the match a nice experience to share with his children. Instead he’s putting watching a football match above spending time with them . That’s before you even consider the way he’s treating you. Trying to stop you going out by disappearing? Is he for real? He’s abusing you op and he’s letting his kids down. You shouldn’t miss out because he’s a selfish, controlling dick, but I’d worry about the kids. I’d see if they could be cared for by a relative or friend, not for him for them. You must go and not allow him to control you. When you get back you need to confront his behaviour. Being beholden to him is no life for you or the kids.

LIZS · 06/07/2018 07:59

Agree profmoody. Dh had already committed to taking dd to a uni open day and will still do so even if he misses part of the match or has to listen to it on the radio. Is anyone else travelling to the same competition who could take your ds? If so give him the number to arrange it and make himself look a selfish twat who cba to put himself out.

purplelass · 06/07/2018 07:59

He's obviously in the wrong here and I can't see any reason why he can't watch the football with the kids.

But as he sounds a bit of a shit then you need to have a plan B in case he throws his mantrum and abandons the DC as they're obviously the most important thing here.

ShatnersWig · 06/07/2018 08:04

OK, I know this is often frowned upon but I think it's valid in this case.

OP PLEASE re-read some of your other threads over the last year about your obnoxious husband and how he treats you. More importantly how he treats your children, one of whom has ASD.

PLEASE put your children first and get out of this marriage which we have been telling you to do for some considerable time. He's an obnoxious sorry excuse for a man and this is the latest in a long line of appalling behaviour. It's not fair on your children to allow them to behave as he does to them and you need to do right by them if you won't do it for yourself. I know it takes strength, but you can do it.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3005392-AIBU-to-think-that-my-H-needs-to-step-up-to-being-a-dad-rather-than-blaming-my-parents

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2900654-Father-hates-his-son

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3065586-Staying-together-for-the-kids

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3184235-think-it-is-finally-over-but-wonder-if-it-is-my-fault

heatwave2018 · 06/07/2018 08:07

YANBU why does he get to decide what you do! Go to the show and make him do the other stuff!

HateSummer · 06/07/2018 08:07

Wow. Someone needs to get their priorities in order. This isn’t normal behaviour; who the hell puts a football game above their children? Twats, that’s who. Go to the show and leave him to it. What an arse.

Snowysky20009 · 06/07/2018 08:08

This is what a sorry excuse for a parent is. Sorry OP he's a prize prick.

MyOtherProfile · 06/07/2018 08:09

I'd miss the show, do the dance thing, look after my kids and file for divorce.

Then once that's sorted you can plan your own life without this horrible selfish man.

MyOtherProfile · 06/07/2018 08:10

I certainly wouldn't pack and leave for the trip now. You can't trust that the children will be ok.

LeighaJ · 06/07/2018 08:12

@Storminateacup74

Based on this and all of your threads about him:
LTB
LTB
LTB
LTB
LTB
LTB

AynRandTheObjectivist · 06/07/2018 08:21

Useless man. Useless man. Useless idiot selfish man child.

ShatnersWig · 06/07/2018 08:23

OP I suspect a lot of people won't read this thread because of the number of other threads about the World Cup and your chosen title. This isn't about a football match clash, it is about you continuing to accept your arse of a husband being hideous to your children and to you.

I hope you read the thread you have started and go back and re-read your previous postings I have linked. PLEASE do. You really MUST leave this man.

Cagliostro · 06/07/2018 08:23

but he would have said no regardless of the world cup

What does that mean? That he would refuse to take DS to the competition even if he was free?

Do the kids actually like him or feel loved by him?

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