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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

children meeting house guests

186 replies

dottypotter · 05/07/2018 16:09

Is it me or is it bad manners if you visit someone for an evening and their kids dont come out of their bedrooms to say hello.

when i was younger if my parents had their friends round we went and said hello if only for a few minutes.

I have a friend who if she has an evening do or something the kids dont appear they are in their rooms!

OP posts:
SmashedMug · 05/07/2018 16:10

😂

FuzzyCustard · 05/07/2018 16:13

Crumbs no. If I go round to the house of someone for dinner, for example, I don't want to say hello to their children, thank you very much! (And I don't suppose they want to say hello to me either!)

PerfectlyPosed · 05/07/2018 16:15

You mean like the Von Trapps?

Unless I'm going to a friends house for a playdate, I have no interest in seeing their kids.

thecatsthecats · 05/07/2018 16:15

This is... different.

To treat it seriously, YABU. Kids old enough to sit in their rooms all evening are old enough to be given autonomy over which of their parents boring friends they socialise with.

You've come into THEIR home, but they didn't invite you. Most reemerge as normal human beings once they're grown up ffs.

AChickenCalledKorma · 05/07/2018 16:16

I used to get trotted out to say hello as a child. It was excruciating. I think it's pretty old fashioned now and I wouldn't make my children say hello to my friends. Maybe if it was a relative they hadn't seen for a while.

iklboo · 05/07/2018 16:19

DS does this but it's his own volition. Mind you, he's known most of the people who come to ours all his life. If this was the 70s they'd be his 'uncles' and 'aunties' Grin.

We don't expect it (or that it'll last much longer)!

LadyPenelope68 · 05/07/2018 16:20

Why should they? You’re not royalty of something, just a friend of their parents.

gillybeanz · 05/07/2018 16:20

I've never been in this position despite raising 3 kids, so I don't know.
I think I'd expect mine to say hello when they came downstairs or to the kitchen. I certainly wouldn't expect them to stay in their rooms all night, it's their home too.
They may want to watch tv or make a snack. we have no tv or food upstairs as our bedrooms are for sleeping only, not a lounge, or kids play room.

PandaPieForTea · 05/07/2018 16:22

I don’t want to see someone’s child who has just been made to see me. If I have a relationship with the child then they would probably pop out anyway.

SnuggyBuggy · 05/07/2018 16:22

I wouldn't be bothered as a guest. Sometimes teens need down time.

ExFury · 05/07/2018 16:23

How old are the kids?

If the younger kid came out to say hello then I’d never get them back into bed. The teens barely come out to say hello to us, never mind anyone else!

PaddyF0dder · 05/07/2018 16:23

Hell no.

Leave them in bed.

ThatSortOfThing · 05/07/2018 16:25

When I was a child (late 80s/90s), my parents not only made me say hello to guests but also play the piano for them and serve them snacks and drinks and then sit with them quietly for the rest of the visit.
It was tedious, and it has taken me a long time to get the confidence to actually speak up when I'm with a group of people as I've always been so used to making myself invisible.
But yes, I like it when whoever is in the house makes a brief appearance. Not a crime if they don't, though.

NoParticularPattern · 05/07/2018 16:25

Good lord no. If the children want to come say hi that’s great, if they don’t that’s also great. It’s not the sound of sodding music

AlonsoTigerHeart · 05/07/2018 16:25

You want kids woken up to say hello to you?

Wtf

Thishatisnotmine · 05/07/2018 16:35

God no. If I got a chance to go out for an evening without my children I don't want to have to meet someone elses!

ExConstance · 05/07/2018 16:35

I always encouraged my children to come and say just a quick hello. It seems to have done some good because when we have visitors now they pull up a chair, pour themselves a glass of wine and join in the conversation. Having young people involved always makes for a more interesting discussion.

QueenOfMyWorld · 05/07/2018 16:38

Yes in the 1950s

ApolloandDaphne · 05/07/2018 16:38

Are you talking about slightly older children? I wouldn't have asked mine to come down if i had my own friends round but they often would pop their heads round the door if passing. Good friends who know my DC would sometimes pop up and say hello to them in their rooms.

PuppyMonkey · 05/07/2018 16:39

NoParticular Grin

Now imagining my lot doing the “So long, farewell” song Grin

HairDyedPink · 05/07/2018 16:40

Sounds perfectly reasonable to me, how on earth can it be describe as rude?

Not everybody is interested in children, and many people can't think of anything worst than having a random conversation with a Primary School child. It sounds like a very thoughtful thing to do from the host.

spiderlight · 05/07/2018 16:40

@iklboo Your post has just made me realise that DS calls about half my friends 'auntie' (mostly the ones without kids), but he doesn't call his actual uncles 'uncle' (he doesn't have any biological aunts). I shall have to quiz him later and see if he knows who he's actually related to!

theliverpoolone · 05/07/2018 16:45

Maybe your friend has told them to stay in their rooms and not disturb the adults, so they're just doing as they're told?

user1486915549 · 05/07/2018 16:45

No !
When I go for an adult evening with friends I really don’t want to have to make small talk with their children.

Juells · 05/07/2018 16:46

@ThatSortOfThing

When I was a child (late 80s/90s), my parents not only made me say hello to guests but also play the piano for them and serve them snacks and drinks and then sit with them quietly for the rest of the visit.

You poor thing! That's torture for all concerned.

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