AIBU to feel upset (and a little bit shit) at being told I’m “dangerously overweight”

[Mightymelon]

Today I’ve been told I’m at risk of obesity and I’m “really quite overweight” and “dangerously overweight” and I’m absolutely gutted.
I’ve had a hideous year and I know I have put on weight but the mentions of “dangerously overweight” and “obesity” have really shaken me up.
I’m 10st 12 and a size 10 (occasionally an 8 in generous shops like Gap and Next) from 9st 6 with similar sized clothes but leaning more to an 8, this time last year ( this was pre pregnancy and tbh I was trying to get down to 9), . but over the last year I’ve carried a pregnancy to almost 20w, become quite unwell and lost said pregnancy, been depressed as a result of aforementioned loss, moved house (quite a significant move), has an awful arthritis episode that was prolonged And therefore stopped me excersising and started a new full time teaching role that has had me on my knees.
I’ve recently re joined the gym am eating much much better and have lost 3LBs so was feeling quite good.

I’m not sure what I wanted from this post but i just wanted a handhold because it all really shook me up and whilst I knew I was much plumper than before I didn’t really get the magnitude of my weight gain.
I don’t need flaming or anything but I just was so shocked and confused because I didn’t think you could be so dangerously overweight at a 8/10/12 and wondered if any of the MN massive could cheer me up or share their weight loss stories!

Thanks

Well that practice nurse cannot read. Or is just an idiot.

This is the BMI chart. www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/educational/lose_wt/BMI/bmicalc.htm?source=quickfitnesssolutions
at 152 LBs and 5.5 you are barely outside ideal rage.

Below 18.5 = Underweight
18.5 to 24.9 = Ideal
25.0 to 29.9 = Overweight
30.0 and above = Obese

BMI does not take into account the difference between bone, muscle mass and fat. www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=106268439

You are absolutely fine OP. I personally think using BMI to scare peopel is wrong and counterproductive. You went in there happy to be ok to start exercising again, I bet some part of you is now wondering 'what's the point?'

Don't one persons idiotic comments put you off.

@cardi
I’m just trying to get my head round it. I know I’m much weightier than I’ve ever been in my life.
But I’ve also had a fuck tonne on my plate and I thought the nurse was a bit heavy handed.
If she’d looked at my file etc she would’ve known I had had a loss and that I was open to primary mental health services and inpatient crisis. (I’m so much better these last few weeks) but pregnancy and depression both potentially make you gain weight and that’s okay. I had been to see her about increasing my physical activity and changing to a healthier lifestyle I just felt a bit crap after

I find it hard to believe that you are at least 20 pounds heavier than me and a Size 10 like me. I really do.

oh and she may be sweet. but she's still an idiot. i bet she is very young?

@Dragons ? Please explain

Even with your height and weight being normal I wonder how you can be a size 8/10.

@BewareOfDragons people are surprised at how heavy I am when I tell them. I don’t look like I should be the weight I am at all... people do carry weight differently.

i guess we all just store weight differently? I’ve just whacked on a pair of 10 jeans and they’re very comfy! 🤷‍♀️

So you are 5'5 and just under 11 stone? That is in no way dangerously overweight. It sounds pretty spot on a healthy weight.

Some people are just on a power trip and love to bring people down😡 I would just love to be your weight!

2 years ago on Friday just past, I went to gynae about my horrendous periods. As I wouldn't consider contraception, they said the other option an ablation would not be offered as my BMI was 44 and my NHS trust only allow people with a BMI of 35 or below to be considered. I left feeling awful.

Being 5ft 1 and over 16 stone I was gutted. Since then I have lost 5st 7.5lbs. I'm still classed as overweight but I am happy with how I am now. Could probably do with losing a stone but I like my clothes and my shape etc.

It's not been an easy journey but I had my ablation a year ago next week and feel fabulous and my BMI on the day of surgery was 33.9 and my weight loss was about 3st 10lbs on that day.

I'm still me, just a bit healthier but that shock of being told that I was too big devastated me at the time. I never wish to return.

@onyx thank you - I was feeling so good when I went to the appointment.
You will get your target ❤️

I expected to come on here and read you were 25st op!! You're not dangerously overweight at all.

I dream of being 11 stone!

""Use BMI unless you are an athlete it is the best way.""

It isn't. Taking your clothes off and studying body fat, muscle mass and lifestyle, is the best way.

""At 5'3, my ideal weight would be around 8 stone. Most people would say "that's tiny" but that's actually healthy. ""

That's healthy for you. I've been medically underweight and at 5'2", I wasn't that light. My choice of exercise is a lot of walking and free weights, so my muscle mass is excellent.

""Dangerously overweight means being obese.""

It can mean dangerously overweight for your medical condition and I think that is what she meant.

OP, you need to explore this further, with her, not on here. I think you need to look into the best exercise, on account of your arthritis and get a proper plan.

You are nowhere near being dangerously overweight, in general terms.

I've been seriously ill and depressed. I'm really annoyed that my Consultants kept fobbing off my weight and wasn't more blunt. I started summer with six stone to lose, I've lost nearly three, but they should have been more honest with me. Perhaps that is what she was doing.

@groovee well done I really hope you’re feeling bettter.
Your journey is amazing

And to all the people saying how can op be a size 10... of course she can. My friend and I are 8 stone different yes 8 and we both wear the same size. Doesn't make sense to me either!

Mightymelon
You should get a fitbit and use MFP to get back to a healty weight, weight loss is 80% food and 20% exercise to get the food part down and soon you can be back to a healthy BMI.

Size isn't an indicator, though.

Size 10 is my lowest size, thanks to big hips.

My eldest DD is naturally a size 6, at a ten, she is overweight. My youngest DD wears a size 12-14, she is very toned, but has big hips/thighs.

@birds I did enter the appointment and state I was planning excersising and already eating properly and following the excersising plan from physio.

I just needed to vent about the shock to be honest
I went in so positive and upbeat and left feeling so shite

Dragons oh yes you’re so skinny congratulations you.
OP, 10st 12 can definitely be a size 10. I was a size 10 at 10’7 two years ago, size 14 now like cries

Danceintherain2018

Because clothes size doesn't measure health a smaller frame covered in fat won't have the same BMI as a bigger frame that is not fat but they can have the same clothes size.

This is why I am alway shocked when fat people go oh I am a size 10/12 so I must not be fat the BMI is wrong even though I am not an athelete and sit on my ass all day eating chips.

@greencoffee I’ve wanted a Fitbit for a while is there one you would reccomend?

Mightymelon

Don't be you knew you needed to lose weight the nurse told you the same you are no worse off just crack on and lose the weight as you knew you needed to before going in.

Mightymelon
Charge 2 are on sale a lot now and good and cheap, The versa is good is you want a more watch look and smart notification from your phone.

I agree that people hold weight very differently and some of it depends on body type as well as weight. As a pear, I am naturally bottom heavy even when at my lightest but tiny on top - currently at 5 foot 2 and slightly under 10 stone I am only just on the okay BMI and still have more to lose but easily fit into an 6-10 on top (depending on shop) and a 12 on the bottom. My friend weights less than me but because of her body type, she is a 12 all over.
Not all size 10s look the same or weigh the same.

OP I think you should feel good about yourself, a loss at 20 weeks is horrendous and I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I know that after mine it took a while for me to feel good about myself and it was a slow process, one that is ongoing.
Don't let this batter your confidence, focus on the weight you've lost and the positive changes you've made.