AIBU to feel upset (and a little bit shit) at being told I’m “dangerously overweight”

[Mightymelon]

Today I’ve been told I’m at risk of obesity and I’m “really quite overweight” and “dangerously overweight” and I’m absolutely gutted.
I’ve had a hideous year and I know I have put on weight but the mentions of “dangerously overweight” and “obesity” have really shaken me up.
I’m 10st 12 and a size 10 (occasionally an 8 in generous shops like Gap and Next) from 9st 6 with similar sized clothes but leaning more to an 8, this time last year ( this was pre pregnancy and tbh I was trying to get down to 9), . but over the last year I’ve carried a pregnancy to almost 20w, become quite unwell and lost said pregnancy, been depressed as a result of aforementioned loss, moved house (quite a significant move), has an awful arthritis episode that was prolonged And therefore stopped me excersising and started a new full time teaching role that has had me on my knees.
I’ve recently re joined the gym am eating much much better and have lost 3LBs so was feeling quite good.

I’m not sure what I wanted from this post but i just wanted a handhold because it all really shook me up and whilst I knew I was much plumper than before I didn’t really get the magnitude of my weight gain.
I don’t need flaming or anything but I just was so shocked and confused because I didn’t think you could be so dangerously overweight at a 8/10/12 and wondered if any of the MN massive could cheer me up or share their weight loss stories!

Thanks

Oops, "it" being the nurses ridiculous remarks, not your sad loss. I didn't mean that first post to sound like that!

@chips
This is exactly how I feel - I am chubbier than before I know that, but I’m not bed bound and I’m healthier than I’ve been in a while and I have a plan - I’ve had a shit time and on more than one occasion eaten crap instead of meals for one reason or another

I just don’t feel like I need a gorgeous young nurse telling me I’m fat

Ah, you mention arthritis. At 5ft 4in and 8st 7lb I was told by the GP musculoskeletal chap to lose some weight to help my knees. He didn't suggest I was overweight however. I think their default is to tell everyone who they see to lose weight. I did ask how he thought I might do that and how much I should lose. He replied that every ounce counts .

5’5 is quite tall, you can easily weigh 10 stone and be within healthy bmi range? Are you white?

I calculated 69kg divided by 1.66m^2 and got a BMI of 25.04. That's barely overweight.

I went from exactly the same weight (9st 6lb) pre pregnancy and now 6 months post baby weigh 10st 12lb!! I want to get back to what I was but know it will take time! You (and I) are NOT dangerously overweight or even overweight, maybe carrying a few extra pounds but that's all. Ignore them, you're fine as you are :)

I think your stats are similar to mine and I’ve never registered as overweight on bmi (not that anyone’s ever said anyway). I think I’m normally just at the top end. I’m fit, a size 10 and do quite a bit of weightlifting, so I’m confident that I’m healthy and actually not remotely ‘overweight’. Honestly OP please ignore this silly person, they clearly get off on making people feel bad, you have nothing to worry about. Please look after yourself after such a traumatic year.

ErictheGuineaPig

Not really my mom is 5ft I am 5ft8 we wear the same size I am normal she is just on the obese line. Sure the measurment is the same but her smaller frame plus fat makes her wear the same size as my bigger frame and normal fat levels.

Size is not a way to measure if you are obese or not with mordern vanity sizes just look at this.

imgur.com/a/PduVwZ6

Use BMI unless you are an athlete it is the best way.

... and I'm a practice nurse myself. So trust me, I see a lot of people and we are fine at 10st 12lb!!

Absurd. Did u have your face buried in a cream bun at the time? If this was said by a medical professional then they are the one with food issues. Unless you have serious unrevealed health problems I suggest you change your practitioner. And have another bun.

At 5'4 you are just into 'overweight ' at BMI 26. At 5'5 you are a healthy weight.

Are you shorter than 5'4 OP ?
You would have to be substantially shorter to be 'dangerously overweight '

It is impossible to say if the person who told you this is batshit crazy or telling you the truth. I suspect the former.

I’ve just done an online bmi and it’s not close to what she said

possibly should’ve done my research before venting to mumsnet

Dangerously overweight sounds like they have to crane you out through a window.

I'm prettt sure a size 10 of any height is just fine.

I wonder if she'd typed one of the measurements wrong into the computer to get a BMI of 27/28. Because it's actually 25.5 which is barely into the overweight category.
Though her common sense should have told her that someone wearing a size 10 is unlikely to be dangerously overweight.

Maybe she feels there is an obesity risk is due to the short timescale in which you've put weight on, but to say you're currently dangerously overweight is bollocks.

Do you think the OP is a rugby player or world class weightlifter?
Gorgon she doesn’t need to be. My physical trainer (expert in training with the overweight and obese) says BMI is meant to be a population measure. It’s pretty meaningless on a personal level for lots of reasons. She is unsure how it came to be the default.

OP, posters on the internet do not know your medical history. they do not know the validity of the facts you've posted about (my weight varies wildly on my scales, my parents scales and the GP - i've found the key is to use the same ones consistently to ensure i know how much my weight is fluctuating). they do not have pictures, or key measurements like waist, hip, etc.

So NO ONE can tell you you're not "dangerously overweight" - it was a medical professional, a nurse, that told you this, and I think you need to stop consulting random strangers on the internet for reassurance who couldn't possibly have any credibility on this topic (because of the information gap/bias i mentioned above).

i'm sorry to say this but a better course of action is to talk with the practice nurse and try and figure out why she's telling you this. is it because she's basing it on correct data? is she blindly following a BMI calc but not taking into account your ethnic background influence? or context around medication you're on/your medical history? etc.

try and step back and look/try and understand if he advice holds weight. maybe it doesn't.

but gathering up a fluttering group of anon randoms on the internet shouldn't make you feel better - we can't, shouldn't, because we aren't in a position to accurately comment!

FFS. Dangerously overweight means being obese. You’re not obese, you’re barely overweight at all. I am almost half a stone heavier and three inches shorter and I haven’t made it into the obese category yet.

Nurse talks shite

Elementtree
I size ten was a size 12 a few weeks ago, if she is small she could well be close to half way to obese so dangerously overweight. Clothes size are not a way to measure health BMI is, a size 10 means nothing a BMI does.

I don't think people realise what a healthy weight is. Dress size is not a measure of healthy weight. And a majority of the country are overweight so judging yourself by the people around you when you're out and about does not give you the right answer. It just means that really, most people are overweight.

At 5'3, my ideal weight would be around 8 stone. Most people would say "that's tiny" but that's actually healthy. 10st 9 is overweight. And it's best to do something about it now while it's still easier. If you get too big, it's really hard to lose.

Cyantist maybe, but even so a BMI of 27/28 (even if BMI meant much) would not mean ‘dangerously’ overweight or close to obese. In fact I’d say general overweightness is never dangerous - research shows that the health sweet spot is 25-30 anyway. It on,y becomes dangerous at obese/very obese. I’m not in denial as I fall into that latter category and am working on it b

I’ve just checked (my conversion could be wrong) but my BMI was 25.3

I don’t know if she did something wrong but she was very slim and beautiful and I just felt like a big fat lump!

Not sure if I should say something to the surgery. She was young and very sweet until she started inferring I was a hiefer 😂

PomBearWithoutHerOFRS you made me actual snort my tea

A better statistic than BMI is waist size. For women, a waist size of over 33inches (or 31.5 on some websites) is dangerous. Size 10 is 28 waist. Not dangerously overweight.

SinkGirl

Dangerously overweight is a BMI of 27-30, above that then you are obese above 35 then you are morbidly obese.

Dangerously overweight is used when you are closer to obese than normal, if you are in the obese reading you are past Dangerously overweight