AIBU to feel upset (and a little bit shit) at being told I’m “dangerously overweight”

[Mightymelon]

Today I’ve been told I’m at risk of obesity and I’m “really quite overweight” and “dangerously overweight” and I’m absolutely gutted.
I’ve had a hideous year and I know I have put on weight but the mentions of “dangerously overweight” and “obesity” have really shaken me up.
I’m 10st 12 and a size 10 (occasionally an 8 in generous shops like Gap and Next) from 9st 6 with similar sized clothes but leaning more to an 8, this time last year ( this was pre pregnancy and tbh I was trying to get down to 9), . but over the last year I’ve carried a pregnancy to almost 20w, become quite unwell and lost said pregnancy, been depressed as a result of aforementioned loss, moved house (quite a significant move), has an awful arthritis episode that was prolonged And therefore stopped me excersising and started a new full time teaching role that has had me on my knees.
I’ve recently re joined the gym am eating much much better and have lost 3LBs so was feeling quite good.

I’m not sure what I wanted from this post but i just wanted a handhold because it all really shook me up and whilst I knew I was much plumper than before I didn’t really get the magnitude of my weight gain.
I don’t need flaming or anything but I just was so shocked and confused because I didn’t think you could be so dangerously overweight at a 8/10/12 and wondered if any of the MN massive could cheer me up or share their weight loss stories!

Thanks

Honestly OP you sound perfect , bugger what some nurse who doesn’t know you thinks BMI is such an arbitrary box ticking exercise .

I'm quite surprised at your sizing though. I'm 5 ft 8 and about 9 and a half stone and in Next trousers I would have to wear a size 12.

I'm 5ft 2in, 9st 3 and Next size 10 trousers fit me.

I can't tell you how often somebody's misinterpreted the charts about centiles when interpreting height/weight/bone density etc. for me (I've given up correcting them unless I think it's a substantial error that they're repeating with others).

In the same session, I've been given advice about managing obesity and lectured for being just under the healthy BMI range (BMI 18).

Um I’m 5’9 weigh 10 st and some size 10
next trousers fit others I need a 12 so 🤷‍♀️

Crag trousers the same. I have a size 12 pair that are tight and a size 10 pair that are loose.

I don't get told that my fat is dangerous (yet) and I'm 5'5 and 14 stone! Please ignore that daft nurse OP x

Ignore her, she is talking rubbish.

I actually think you should speak to your doctor about it, to put your mind at rest.

Max healthy weight at weight watchers for 5"5 used to be 10st 10lb. So op if you lost literally half stone you would be in healthy weight range easily.

I'm exactly the same stats as you OP. Last time the doctors told me I was overweight I just rolled my eyes, flexed my arms, lifted my top up and told him to say that again!

Um I’m 5’9 weigh 10 st and some size 10 next trousers fit others I need a 12 so

Yes, I am similar. It probably does depend on what style of trousers you wear and what you define as "fitting" though. I could probably get size 10 trousers on but I think they look better in a 12.

Yeah that’s a crock of shit. I am 2 inches taller than you and can go to 11 stone 6 before I am even classed as overweight. If I weighed 12 stone, for example, I would be ‘slightly overweight’ but it would take me to get to 15 stone + to be obese. The nurse was talking shit. No one is ‘dangerously overweight and a size 10 either.

I've had the opposite happen a few weeks ago. A friend was very insistent that I was too skinny and was 'anorexic' not just on a healthy eating diet. I've put a lot of effort into healthy eating since the New Year and mostly concerned about being healthier rather than rapid weight loss.

I'm now about one and a half stone overweight. This is consistent with advice from several professionals at health check ups over a few years. My target weight hasn't changed. I'm gradually getting there. I'm happy with my progress. I'm feeling much better at my size now but am still aiming for my target eventually.

I was really flummoxed by what my friend thinks. Even though I know she's wrong I still felt unsettled and questioned myself. One comment has soured how happy I was feeling and I struggled to get my head around why she thinks that way.

I trust her as a friend and she was so convinced by what she was saying about me. I've been listening carefully since then to her comments about her own body - I'm starting to believe that she had an eating disorder in the past and has an unhealthy obsession with her own body that she projected onto me. I also wear clothes that minimise my body shape so conceal my squidgy bits quite well.

Ugh @myshiny. I hear this so much on here and have witnessed it once irl. I don’t know why women do this to each other. One loses some weight (and needed to), so the ‘friend’ gets ‘concerned’. The one i saw irl was to a woman who was definitely still overweight and said she wanted to lose two more stone. The (slim) friend immediately started with the faux concern. I don’t know. Very odd altogether. Unless maybe she knows something about the friend that I don’t.

Out of curiosity I just measured myself too. Shocked at the way age has changed my body shape. I’m 5 ft 6, 9st 6 and my measurement are 35in bust, 33 inch waist (although not sure where exactly to measure waist. If it’a the narrowest point that curves in that’s quite a bit higher than where most moder trousers seem to sit at the waist so I picked slightly lower) and 38 hips.

I’m 45, and the biggest round the waist I’ve ever been in my life, think that’s the start of the perimenopause doing that although I do have PCOS and came off the pill for good last summer.

Jealous of your 28” waist, Op. goes to show why you can fit in size 10 trousers and I can’t even though I weigh less than you.

Fascinating to realise how we are all of different shapes, clothes sizes and weights even at similar heights.

I have zero fat on my arms. I mean, my wrists look skeletal, I always have to have links taken out of my watches. I think people look at my skinny limbs and assume I’m a size 8 rather than a 12. I just laugh.

Oh isn’t it all a nonsense?!

Out of curiosity I just measured myself too. Shocked at the way age has changed my body shape. I’m 5 ft 6, 9st 6 and my measurement are 35in bust, 33 inch waist shock (although not sure where exactly to measure waist. If it’a the narrowest point that curves in that’s quite a bit higher than where most moder trousers seem to sit at the waist so I picked slightly lower) and 38 hips.

It's the narrowest part! i.e. between belly button and rib cage so maybe you are smaller than you think!. I know that means put a waist measurement on modern trousers pretty pointless though.

What the actual f. Of course you cannot be dangerously overweight and a size 10!

If you are very short then you might be ever-so-slightly overweight but I don't see how you could fit into a size 10 if that was the case- you'd be in size 16/14s and even then you wouldn't be considered 'dangerously overweight'.

Dangerously overweight is when someone is moderately obese because there are health issues associated with being so overweight (therefore it's dangerous!). Being slightly overweight or even at risk of becoming obese is not dangerous!