AIBU to feel upset (and a little bit shit) at being told I’m “dangerously overweight”

[Mightymelon]

Today I’ve been told I’m at risk of obesity and I’m “really quite overweight” and “dangerously overweight” and I’m absolutely gutted.
I’ve had a hideous year and I know I have put on weight but the mentions of “dangerously overweight” and “obesity” have really shaken me up.
I’m 10st 12 and a size 10 (occasionally an 8 in generous shops like Gap and Next) from 9st 6 with similar sized clothes but leaning more to an 8, this time last year ( this was pre pregnancy and tbh I was trying to get down to 9), . but over the last year I’ve carried a pregnancy to almost 20w, become quite unwell and lost said pregnancy, been depressed as a result of aforementioned loss, moved house (quite a significant move), has an awful arthritis episode that was prolonged And therefore stopped me excersising and started a new full time teaching role that has had me on my knees.
I’ve recently re joined the gym am eating much much better and have lost 3LBs so was feeling quite good.

I’m not sure what I wanted from this post but i just wanted a handhold because it all really shook me up and whilst I knew I was much plumper than before I didn’t really get the magnitude of my weight gain.
I don’t need flaming or anything but I just was so shocked and confused because I didn’t think you could be so dangerously overweight at a 8/10/12 and wondered if any of the MN massive could cheer me up or share their weight loss stories!

Thanks

@mmmgoats thank you that’s exactly what I wanted! I was feeling helpless and needed good vibes!

I know someone who squeezes into an 8-10. You can see the strain on the stitching. She doesn’t want ‘to be size 12’. I’m not sure OP’s dress size means much

I've also had it said when I've been underweight, to the point that my body wasn't healing as it should.

ichifanny

Are you a curently weight lifter? What is you body fat percentage use that is are an athlete as you will be measuring it and that fine, but people who don't build mussle through hard long work BMI works fine.

Getting called obese at 30 weeks pregnant, by some cunt who has never set eyes on me

I'm looking forward to finding out what kind of idiot I am.

What on earth Isco a haes idiot?!

birds posters on the thread are asserting that a bmi 27-30 is “dangerously overweight”. This is nonsense.

The op’s bmi is only just over 25. In no universe is that dangerously overweight.

Yeah they really recommend heavy weight lifting at 30 weeks pregnant with a high risk pregnancy

I find it hard to believe that you are at least 20 pounds heavier than me and a Size 10 like me. I really do

Bewareofdragons- Perhaps you are ‘skinnyfat’ then, and the op is more naturally muscular than you are

Greencoffee - god you’re insufferable. Yuk.

@mightymelon you're very welcome and tbh I think you're doing amazingly to have been able to pull yourself back up and start making any kind of good changes.
Be kind to yourself, see it as a long term goal - that way it will be more sustainable as well. It made me feel a little more in control of my body, after everything that had gone on with it, to be able to take charge of what I was putting into it - (not obsessively!) and that also made it easier to make the changes become habits. Sorry if that sounds patronising, not intended to be x
:)

ichifanny

Where you 13 stone at the start of the pregnancy as you never said the baby was adding the extra weight just you where 13 stone but at 30 weeks your baby is around 3 pounds making you 179lbs, so congrats you are 29.8 BMI if it's your current weight no need to worry.

PurpleDaisies , but, if you have a medical degree and a good take on what constitutes dangerous weight. You know that you have to assess face-to-face, looking at body fat and then give advice to suit the OP's arthritis.

The Nurse handled it badly, no-one should come out feeling utterly deflated, but there should be a level of honesty, from medical professionals.

As I said, i'm annoyed that my Consultants fobbed me off for so long over my weight.

No that’s my current I was 10 st or thereabouts at a size 8/10 so I was simply stating that now I was 13 stone I’m in size 14 , for the OP’s information that 10st 12 is an absolutely fine weight to be . Not for some judgey cunt to start throwing insults at me .

@ethel
Honestly my 8s are tight unless they are a gap or a next and then they are comfy
My go to is a 10 pretty much everywhere except primark and H&M where I can be anything from an xs to a large 😂

ichifanny
You must have a BF% measurement just before you stopped lifting when you found out you where pregnant just use that and not worry about your BMI.

Athletes don't worry about BMI because they have BF% measurments to go off, they also know BMI works fine for everyone else.

Well, I googled despite the poor experience I had after looking up other unfamiliar terms I have come across on mumsnet, and relieved that haes isn't some weird necro-sex thing and just a 'healthy at ever size' group.

I'm 10 stone, I wear size 12 because I prefer baggy clothing. And I'm not interested in being a part of any group. I do object to officious twattery though.

PurpleDaisies , but, if you have a medical degree and a good take on what constitutes dangerous weight. You know that you have to assess face-to-face, looking at body fat and then give advice to suit the OP's arthritis.

To some extent yes, but a bmi if around 25 is not going to be high enough to be “dangerous”. Unhealthy maybe but dangerous?

My main gripe here is with this mysterious new category that still hasn’t been justified by the posters who —invented— explained the definition.

i think the practice nurse needs to be re trained if she is to give anyone advice on health issues eg weight . i definetly think if you can fit into clothes size 10-12 you dont have a problem.

could you maybe ask for advice at the gym you go to. did they do an assesment when you re joined

HAES is “health at every size”. That poster is saying that if you are obese you probably ascribe to this philosophy. She’s wrong. There are lots of reasons people are fat and HAES is a positive movement.

Back to you OP, I think the nurse was trying to warn you that you’re in the overweight BMI class and if you gain more weight could tip into obesity. But I think she did the calculation wrong.

I don’t think you need to lose 2 stone at your height. Consult a trainer at the gym and ask your GP for a second opinion.

God forbid everyone shouldn’t fit into some box eh ? The main thing is do you feel good about yourself and like what you see in the mirror .

Some practise nurses are prize idiots.... My practise nurse measured my height twice... And came up with 5 foot 10....i would love to be that tall.... She wouldn't believe me when I said either her or scales were very wrong as I've never been taller than 5 foot 7...I used to do sports so was often being measured....

Idiot! 1 cm variation could be time of day.... Not 3 inches..

@Mightymelon I do still remember how I left feeling and it was horrible. I started MyFitnessPal that day. 6 months later moved to slimming world as that suited me better.

Would it be worth speaking to your GP about this?

@Mightymelon
I am the same height as you
and when I weighed the same as you my surgeon told me I was two stone overweight and needed major surgery if I did not lose weight
BECAUSE
I actually have a very slim frame and my "happy weight" is BMI 21 or under

BMI is a crude measure.
Get a body fat scan that also analyses your visceral fat and muscle tone
it may be that for your frame you are very overweight

even though another person 5'5" tall would be fine at your size.

Seek more empirical evidence
THEN decide