AIBU to feel upset (and a little bit shit) at being told I’m “dangerously overweight”

[Mightymelon]

Today I’ve been told I’m at risk of obesity and I’m “really quite overweight” and “dangerously overweight” and I’m absolutely gutted.
I’ve had a hideous year and I know I have put on weight but the mentions of “dangerously overweight” and “obesity” have really shaken me up.
I’m 10st 12 and a size 10 (occasionally an 8 in generous shops like Gap and Next) from 9st 6 with similar sized clothes but leaning more to an 8, this time last year ( this was pre pregnancy and tbh I was trying to get down to 9), . but over the last year I’ve carried a pregnancy to almost 20w, become quite unwell and lost said pregnancy, been depressed as a result of aforementioned loss, moved house (quite a significant move), has an awful arthritis episode that was prolonged And therefore stopped me excersising and started a new full time teaching role that has had me on my knees.
I’ve recently re joined the gym am eating much much better and have lost 3LBs so was feeling quite good.

I’m not sure what I wanted from this post but i just wanted a handhold because it all really shook me up and whilst I knew I was much plumper than before I didn’t really get the magnitude of my weight gain.
I don’t need flaming or anything but I just was so shocked and confused because I didn’t think you could be so dangerously overweight at a 8/10/12 and wondered if any of the MN massive could cheer me up or share their weight loss stories!

Thanks

You need to make a complaint about him/her. This is absolutely not how to go about the job of discussing weight with people carrying a couple of extra pounds.

Sorry just saw 'practice nurse' said it.

She must have been talking to someone else.

Sounds wrong to me but how tall are you?

How tall are you? Have you tried calculating your BMI? It sounds like the nurse may have been talking bollocks, because from what you describe you are not “dangerously overweight”.

Why dont you have a biscuit op? to make yourself feel better, and to help you grow a few feet.

You need to say how tall you are op otherwise the whole thread is pointless

Why did you put all of the other details but leave that out?

This doesn’t sound right OP. I had the exact same experience as you, a loss at 20 weeks and came out of that at 11 stone. I’m 5 foot 2, 3 at a push and this was heavy for me.
I’ve now lost over a stone and am around 9 stone 10, still at least 7 more than i’d like but i went for a check up recently and my bmi was back in the acceptable range.
Unless you are much shorter than me I can’t see how this is the case!

If you are only 'at risk' of obesity (ie not actually obese) then I can't see how you can at the same time be 'dangerously' overweight unless it is to do with your specific health issues (I know my mum who has horrible arthritis has been told that keeping as trim as she can really helps) . It sounds like you have had a very difficult your and you have gained a lot of weight very quickly so it's great that you are taking steps towards a much healthier lifestyle which will I hope make you both healthier and happier. If you keep up a small but steady weight loss alongside increasing your fitness levels and eating good food then before long you will be in great shape.

and yes clothes sizes can be very meaningless, better to look at how well you fit clothes you have had for a while to see where your body is growing or shrinking.

I was fully expecting to read a post from a fat woman in denial. Far from it.

I am usually a size 10 (sometimes 8, sometimes 12 depending on the shop and fit). I’m 5’6” and weigh around 10stone 8lb. That puts me on the BMI chart at just under 25 if I remember rightly, just under ‘overweight’.

It’s laughable imo. If anything I will only get heavier as I intend to increase my muscle mass. Could do with toning up definitely.. but I’m ok with my actual size.

I want to know who told you this also!

I have a size 8 colleague who was told to lose weight by a practice nurse - were you getting a pill check by any chance?

she exists on juiced veg and one meal a day as it is. It was partly raised because she was a size 6 and had gained some weight to get to the size 8. I think it might have been a "computer says patient has gained 10lb" exercise.

Riiiighht. Practice Nurse - extremely unlikely isn't it because previous posters have said it isn't possible (unless you are a person of short stature). Presumably not said in an NHS medical setting as the standard reference is BMI - even if you are 4'8" you are still within the healthy range. Are you in the UK?

What the heck?! I’m 5’ 9”, 22 stone and a size 22 - that Is dangerously overweight.

Bmi is outdated and outmoded and doesn’t take into account body types and fitness levels. For instance according to bmi most rugby players and the Rock would be dangerously overweight.

Personally I’d put a complaint into the practice manager - if she said this to the wrong person it could trigger an eating disorder.

A size 10 is a size 10 surely, regardless of height? The size is about how it fits round your waist etc. This sounds bonkers. You are in no way dangerously overweight.

To me, ‘dangerously overweight’ suggests that you’re at imminent risk of health problems due to your weight. Type 2 diabetes, for example. I find it impossible to believe that you would fit that category at under 11 stone and a size 10!

Agree with all other PP, who on earth told you that??

For context, I am your weight plus another 45% (give or take) - no doctor has made any comment beyond ‘you’re over weight, but you knew that!’

Yeah ok

I’m 5”5 so a fairly normal height? I’ve always had bulky thighs and been a pair I think maybe going for the shock factor? But I was at my nurses appt for my arthritis and we had just discussed my plans to restart excersising and I went in absolutely elated as my physiotherapist has given me the ok to join the gym.

I think I’m being over sensitive I went in their so happy/ excited and just feel a bit deflated
I will be 9 st by Christmas!

Thanks for letting me vent

'As previous posters' (was what that meant to say)

If this was said to you in a medical setting you should say something as it is ridiculous, wrong and goes against guidelines. Also sorry for your loss - the last thing you need is people misinforming you about stuff which also hurts your feelings. Telling the medical practice would be a good start - it could trigger all sorts of issues in people prone to eating disorders (perhaps she is someone with issues herself that are giving her a skewed perspective and making her say unprofessional nonsense!?)

Well I'm a bit fucked then.

Blimey

I’m 5ft 5 and 11 stone 12.

Was just thinking today how nice I looked but clearly I’m morbidly obese.....

Well if you are dangerously overweight I’m dead already! I’m aiming to be your weight.

It was a a Bmi related I’m apparently 27/28 weight thing and I have some muscle as I’ve been trying to do low impact weights stuff as I haven’t been able to run?

sorry for your loss OP x

OP, I am sorry you've had a tough time of it recently, I really am, but, you are NOT dangerously overweight!
FFS I am 5'2 and 20 stone. I am dangerously overweight, you are the size of one of my legs, so, and I mean this gently, get over it.

Bmi is outdated and outmoded and doesn’t take into account body types and fitness levels. For instance according to bmi most rugby players and the Rock would be dangerously overweight.

Do you think the OP is a rugby player or world class weightlifter?

oh she is talking absolute shite.

yay that you are allowed to go to the gym again - enjoy! we need a kettlebell emoji