AIBU to feel upset (and a little bit shit) at being told I’m “dangerously overweight”

[Mightymelon]

Today I’ve been told I’m at risk of obesity and I’m “really quite overweight” and “dangerously overweight” and I’m absolutely gutted.
I’ve had a hideous year and I know I have put on weight but the mentions of “dangerously overweight” and “obesity” have really shaken me up.
I’m 10st 12 and a size 10 (occasionally an 8 in generous shops like Gap and Next) from 9st 6 with similar sized clothes but leaning more to an 8, this time last year ( this was pre pregnancy and tbh I was trying to get down to 9), . but over the last year I’ve carried a pregnancy to almost 20w, become quite unwell and lost said pregnancy, been depressed as a result of aforementioned loss, moved house (quite a significant move), has an awful arthritis episode that was prolonged And therefore stopped me excersising and started a new full time teaching role that has had me on my knees.
I’ve recently re joined the gym am eating much much better and have lost 3LBs so was feeling quite good.

I’m not sure what I wanted from this post but i just wanted a handhold because it all really shook me up and whilst I knew I was much plumper than before I didn’t really get the magnitude of my weight gain.
I don’t need flaming or anything but I just was so shocked and confused because I didn’t think you could be so dangerously overweight at a 8/10/12 and wondered if any of the MN massive could cheer me up or share their weight loss stories!

Thanks

Truth is I don't think she gained that much because I don't think she started at a 23.3 BMI with 19% to begin with. She only brought up muscle after her BMI was called out and after posting HAES fatlogic which a weight lifter wouldn't post so I would suspect she started with a higher BMI and got to 30 BMI at week 30 at a more normal pregnacy weight gain rather than jump form 23.3 with 19%BF to 30 BMI she says happened.

My midwife suggested that one-third baby, one third amniotic sac, and one thIrd breast feeding reserve starter pack worked for me.

In fact, I think I recall being told to aim for about 0.75lb per week average weight gain over 40 weeks. It was very precise. My midwife was excellent.

Greencoffee, this thread was not started so that you could pick apart the OP’s pregnancy you awful human. Please scuttle off.

Raisinshoes

OP is not pregnant????

And stop posting about ‘HAES’ and ‘fatlogic’ you sound mental.

Sounds like the nurse had her chart upside down.

You sound just right.

You are not dangerously overweight at all going by your height and weight!

I remember when my DP saw a nurse who put his height at 5'8 and said he was in the obese BMI category. He is actually 6'1- god knows why she put 5'8. Batshit. 😂

That's ok, just gives me a kick up the bum to do better and keep working at it. I don't see myself getting under 10 stone though. Ever since I went into adult size clothing I was never under a size 12 for trousers and size 10 for top. I will just be happy to get back down to that and have the energy to play with my kids.

What the fuck.is fatlogic you weirdo. Are these words you use in real life? Do you have friends?

As PPs have suggested, it seems v likely that the practice nurse put the wrong numbers into whichever calculator she was using & ended up with a VERY wrong number. I once had a dietitian misread her scrawl, leading to her deciding I was 5cm shorter than is the case, & write a letter all elated about my weightgain. It explained why she'd seemingly been totally fine about my BMI having dropped so low, of course, & tbf I was wearing All The Layers, but even so...

The other thing I was wondering is whether you're of African, Afro-Caribbean, or [South] Asian descent? There are now NICE Guidelines recommending that, given the high prevalence of T2 diabetes in those populations, healthy BMI measurements should be adjusted downwards: 18.5-23 for healthy weight; 23-27.5 for overweight; 27.5+ for obese (not sure what numbers are for morbidly & super-morbidly obese are). Obviously your Right Numbers aren't horrendous-awful-dire as practice nurse said even then, but assuming she got them wrong, it'd be exaggerated even further by lower BMI numbers. Clearly it isn't relevant in your case if you're not from any of those ethnic groups/couldn't be mistaken for being from any of them, but I thought it was worth mentioning just in case.

Please don't let it get you down. You are doing really well - joint problems [can] make exercising, even the exercise you love best in the world, that makes everything but that moment fall away & gives you the feeling you're flying instead of your Normal Life feeling of falling really REALLY nightmarishly hard. If you're on steroids for your arthritis that's a whole other barrier to weightloss (& of course it makes doing weight-bearing exercise even more important!). But you've got your plan sorted & you're persisting & progressing steadily. Which is the right way to do it. So please don't feel despairing &/or like it's pointless

I think you need to stop consulting random strangers on the internet for reassurance who couldn't possibly have any credibility on this topic (because of the information gap/bias i mentioned above).

i'm sorry to say this but a better course of action is to talk with the practice nurse and try and figure out why she's telling you this. is it because she's basing it on correct data? is she blindly following a BMI calc but not taking into account your ethnic background influence? or context around medication you're on/your medical history? etc.

This

Funny how everyone is bashing the BMI but seem ok quoting arbitrary clothing sizes. The OP is 1 inch shorter and 9kg heavier than me but apparently we are a similar clothing size, if that doesn’t expose the nonsense that are clothing sizes, then nothing will.

I totally understand the shock about being confronted with such information but knowledge is power and clothing size is a bonkers way to judge weight.

Dress sizes are a total nonsense. My very overweight, 5’2” friend wears the same dress size as me, at 5’8” and a normal weight. Even at a very low (but still normal, just), weight, I was a 10, but still wore some 12s, depending on the shop and garment. Think it’s my big old shoulders! Jackets for work were always a 12. Mind you, so were some trousers. It’s just nonsense.

GreenCoffee: pre pregnancy I had a BMI of 21, body fat percentage 16%. I did a lot of cardio and weights. Due to dropping a lot of the exercise and eating more than I would have usually, I gained 6 stone and 9% body fat by my due date. It can happen.

As I am sure others have said, you are a very healthy weight with a BMI of 21! You need to complain to your g.p practice as that sort of mistake could trigger an eating disorder!

I use the nhs bmi calculator and blimey I wish I had a bmi of 21!

www.nhs.uk/tools/documents/healthy_weight_v3/healthy_weight.html?variant=tablet

Wow I should probably step away from this thread tbh.

The practise nurse is definitely wrong. Even if you need to lose a little weight her terminology is unhelpful. As someone who has had an ED for years (and now as much in recovery as I ever can be I think) this would have been deeply triggering and a health care professional should know better.

OP try not to be discouraged or feel bad. Good luck achieving your goals.

I am really unsure why one poster is attacking pregnancy gain but suggesting you put on 3lbs for your baby is insane. My midwife was happy with my gain which was around 3 stone (I hated this gain btw so it was not at all easy)

The fat shaming from some people is shocking. Yes everyone should aim for a healthy weight and lifestyle free from smoking, pollution and other risk factors but we are all human and have vices.

Supporting efforts to improve health is good.

I can't believe people are still entertaining this thread! Seriously it's either a troll or someone is lying. I find it hard to believe a hcp would say that to someone who clearly isn't. Unless they are and in denial so using made up numbers.

@drchinnery certainly not a troll just a confused person who although they knew they were chubby, was shocked at being labelled “dangerously overweight” because I am when pegged against colleagues and friends on the average/slim side.
And I was also just feeling naff, because I felt it was insensitive and a bit much!
I might ask HQ to move the thread as I really wanted some positive weight loss stories/ pearls of wisdom/ motivation.
Not to be bashed to the fucking high heavens!

Thank you for your help Gin, and everyone else who has tried to support - I was feeling deflated last night but I’ve aready been for a swim and a brisk walk this morning and am about to have a breakfast full of veggies! Fingers crossed for another LB down this week!

There is no way you are "dangerously overweight". My guess is that she did the calculation wrong. She should have looked at you and realised but perhaps she is very inexperienced and/or not good at her job.

I'm quite surprised at your sizing though. I'm 5 ft 8 and about 9 and a half stone and in Next trousers I would have to wear a size 12. Do you perhaps put weight on around your middle? If that is the case you do probably have to keep your BMI lower than someone who puts weight on around bottom and legs. Also, having joint problems myself, I know that less weight usually means less joint pain,. You only have to lose a few pounds though so ignore what you have been told.

Jesus christ what has this thread descended into!
Can’t believe someone has called troll on this either. OP was clearly a bit confused - and she’s not the only person to have been misinformed in this context by a practice nurse, sadly i know a fair few people it’s happened to, including kids!

OP glad the thread has made you feel better and that you’ve ignored the more batshit posters who seem to want to use it for their own personal vendetta or prejudice. Pound by pound is the way to go! You’ve made me want to go swimming now actually

Thinking about it perhaps you misheard and she said "dangerously close to being overwieght"! which would be true if your BMI is 25.

Dungeon I’ve just measured myself and I’m 35.5 bust 28 waist and 37.5 hip not sure how that relates to other size tens?
Maybe all of my clothes are old and I’ve stretched them over the years 🤷‍♀️

Maybe she did say that? I was just freaked out. I know I’d like to be between 9& 9.6 💪 I’ve just got to make it happen!

Dungeon I’ve just measured myself and I’m 35.5 bust 28 waist and 37.5 hip not sure how that relates to other size tens?

That sounds like a good hip to waist ratio. I'm smaller on all measurements though so I'm surprised that you are a 10 in Next. I'm sure your measurements are within the healthy range though.

Maybe she did say that? I was just freaked out. I know I’d like to be between 9& 9.6 💪 I’ve just got to make it happen!

Yes, I'm pretty sure you misheard. You just need to get fitter and lose a few pounds and you will feel much better!

@mightymelon Your measurements are healthy. Similar to mine, and I’ve always been a size 10 across all shops I’ve been in. I’m not sure why some people are obsessed with questioning this. You have nothing to worry about.