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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For asking DP to move out after 6 months?

157 replies

YouBloodyPigeon · 03/07/2018 14:45

I have essentially moved in another child.

He's 32 and never lived away from him mum and she did everything for him. When he asked about moving in here I said he would have to pull his weight with the housework and bills. I don't expect him to pay towards the mortgage but bills and groceries definately.

First month he paid up fine. Second month he announced a new PS4 game was coming out and he had to buy the limited edition for £75 so bill money would be a bit short. I was fuming and told him that wasn't on. He had a bit argument and eventually he agreed that it was selfish and he wouldn't do it again.

2nd and 3rd month fine. 4th month he announced he had to go on a stag weekend so I had a choice between receiving less bill money or buying all the groceries for one month. He just takes the piss, it's a fucking joke.

On top of that he gets a shower and just leaves all his clothes piled up on the toilet for me to move. First few times I did as I needed the toilet but after a few weeks of this I started just swiping them off the big onto the floor. This resulted in him calling me petty and childish, going off in a huff etc. I'm not fucking having it!! He never makes dinner, never washes up - one time I told him we both work so either he cooks or tidied kitchen after cooking. He said he'd do the kitchen. So after dinner he spends 5 minutes in the kitchen, comes out and says "all done! The only thing I haven't done is the pans." I went in to look and all he HAD done is piled up the dirty pots in the sink for me to wash!!! He just doesn't seem to grasp it at all.

Other incidents include him starting a water fight with my kids - with BLEACH water from a bucket.

And yesterday's incident - he decided to sort the fridge out so cooked bacon, sausages, eggs, black pudding etc etc - all out of date stuff that he'd left in there - for my dogs. They're fucking champion show dogs. I was so angry I cried. One of them was sick all night. I just think he's beyond it and needs to go. I know it takes a while for someone to get used to not living with their mother but with the other stuff, the bleach water and the dogs I don't even feel he can be trusted in the house.

AIBU to just chuck him out without warning? I've really had enough.

OP posts:
Mitzimaybe · 03/07/2018 14:47

YANBU, I don't know why you're even asking!

SoapOnARoap · 03/07/2018 14:47

YANBU, he’s moved into your place & should be dancing to your tune.

Kick him out

Thehop · 03/07/2018 14:50

Jesus get rid he’s a liability and an immature selfish twat!

Firstnameterms · 03/07/2018 14:50

I’d be chucking out and ending the relationship.

JustVent · 03/07/2018 14:51

And stay out!

dundermiflin · 03/07/2018 14:51

Yanbu. I would've had him out by now! What a dick! Why on earth does he think it's up to you to make up his bill money!? He's on another planet.

Kick him out and never let him back in op.

timeisnotaline · 03/07/2018 14:51

YANBU

SluttyButty · 03/07/2018 14:52

I wouldn't just be kicking him out, I'd be saying bye bye and I never want to see you again. What is wrong with people, why do grown men think it's ok for their mothers to wait on them hand and foot!

Aprilshouldhavebeenmyname · 03/07/2018 14:52

Bye bye bf!!!

Mollywobbles82 · 03/07/2018 14:53

Do it and tell his mother why. If you have sons you're doing them, not to mention their future wives & partners, a favour by letting them see this type of behaviour is not acceptable.

CaoNiMa · 03/07/2018 14:54

Get him the fuck out.

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 03/07/2018 14:54

Well done you! So many women don’t take this very important step when they need to. They give these men chance after chance and usually end up supporting an unemployed cocklodger with their maternity pay and tax credits while he games the nights away.

Well done you for doing it straight away and saying yourself all that crap.

henpeckedinchief · 03/07/2018 14:55

Christ no, he sounds dire. I would be booting him out and ending the relationship.

NotARegularPenguin · 03/07/2018 14:56

He’s a grown man who prioritises computer games and stag weekends over bills and your relationship. Dump the wank stain.

henpeckedinchief · 03/07/2018 14:57

Do it and tell his mother why

I disagree with this though, let's stop blaming women for men being immature failures eh?

Tonicwaterandgin · 03/07/2018 14:58

Just the money situation alone would have had me showing him the door, but with everything else as well I can't imagine why he's still there. Seriously OP get rid of this manchild!

lardymclardy · 03/07/2018 14:58

An unequivocal YANBU!

SilverySurfer · 03/07/2018 14:58

I'm shocked you're even asking and that you haven't kicked him out long before now. Put all his stuff into bin bags and tell him to collect at a time suitable for you - then change the locks. He can go back to mummy - good riddance.

TroubledLichen · 03/07/2018 14:59

YABU for having put up with this for 6 months. He’s a lazy pisstsking leach that has poisoned your dogs and could have blinded your children by throwing bleach water at them. Protect your family from his idiocy and send him back to Mummy.

YouBloodyPigeon · 03/07/2018 15:00

He never paid board at home and his mum even paid his credit card minimum monthly payment for him to make sure he didn't miss it.

There have been other incidents too, him eating everything in sight, throwing away an entire chicken that I had bought because he saw a fly in the same room (the chicken was in it's wrapped still), trying to teach my dogs to "Attack" "for a laugh" etc etc.

After seeing this side of him I don't even want to be with him. I've never known such childish and pathetically selfish behaviour

OP posts:
Rudgie47 · 03/07/2018 15:00

Just get all his stuff together and dump it round at his Mums now. Text them both and tell them thats its and for him not to contact you again.
If you cant be arsed with that then just leave it all in your front garden,he can move it when he gets in from work.
Dont be getting drawn into a discussion with him, hes going and thats it.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 03/07/2018 15:02

Christ no, send him back to Mummy.

specialsubject · 03/07/2018 15:02

I'm surprised the sex has been good enough for you to have him there for a week, let alone six months.

evict, change locks, raise standards.

Shumpalumpa · 03/07/2018 15:03

Tell him to leave right now! In person, by phone or text, but just do it!

IdaDown · 03/07/2018 15:04

Why have you left it so long?