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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For asking DP to move out after 6 months?

157 replies

YouBloodyPigeon · 03/07/2018 14:45

I have essentially moved in another child.

He's 32 and never lived away from him mum and she did everything for him. When he asked about moving in here I said he would have to pull his weight with the housework and bills. I don't expect him to pay towards the mortgage but bills and groceries definately.

First month he paid up fine. Second month he announced a new PS4 game was coming out and he had to buy the limited edition for £75 so bill money would be a bit short. I was fuming and told him that wasn't on. He had a bit argument and eventually he agreed that it was selfish and he wouldn't do it again.

2nd and 3rd month fine. 4th month he announced he had to go on a stag weekend so I had a choice between receiving less bill money or buying all the groceries for one month. He just takes the piss, it's a fucking joke.

On top of that he gets a shower and just leaves all his clothes piled up on the toilet for me to move. First few times I did as I needed the toilet but after a few weeks of this I started just swiping them off the big onto the floor. This resulted in him calling me petty and childish, going off in a huff etc. I'm not fucking having it!! He never makes dinner, never washes up - one time I told him we both work so either he cooks or tidied kitchen after cooking. He said he'd do the kitchen. So after dinner he spends 5 minutes in the kitchen, comes out and says "all done! The only thing I haven't done is the pans." I went in to look and all he HAD done is piled up the dirty pots in the sink for me to wash!!! He just doesn't seem to grasp it at all.

Other incidents include him starting a water fight with my kids - with BLEACH water from a bucket.

And yesterday's incident - he decided to sort the fridge out so cooked bacon, sausages, eggs, black pudding etc etc - all out of date stuff that he'd left in there - for my dogs. They're fucking champion show dogs. I was so angry I cried. One of them was sick all night. I just think he's beyond it and needs to go. I know it takes a while for someone to get used to not living with their mother but with the other stuff, the bleach water and the dogs I don't even feel he can be trusted in the house.

AIBU to just chuck him out without warning? I've really had enough.

OP posts:
ApolloandDaphne · 03/07/2018 19:38

Send him back home to mummy. She raised him like that so she is welcome to him.

Haffdonga · 03/07/2018 19:40

He piled up the pans for you to wash! Shock

Get rid. Obvs. But please explain clearly and in little words exactly why he has to go in case he gets involved with any other unfortunate women.

Figgygal · 03/07/2018 19:41

Wow I'm surprised you've lasted this long

MyOtherProfile · 03/07/2018 19:45

Bet his mum thought all her Christmases had come at once when he moved out!

user1andonly · 03/07/2018 19:54

"all done! The only thing I haven't done is the pans."

I'd be chucking him out for this alone! Especially since he hadn't actually done everything else at all!

Who did he think was going to do the pans? The washing up fairy?

HollowTalk · 03/07/2018 20:25

I'd push his face in the bloody pans. Everyone knows the pans are the worst bit!

faloma · 03/07/2018 20:43

You know you need to get rid, I wouldn't want this idiot anywhere near my dc.

LizB62A · 03/07/2018 23:15

How long were you seeing him for before he moved in?
Definitely bin him !!

Verbena87 · 03/07/2018 23:21

Get rid!

And as a ridiculously adoring mum of a 10 month old boy, thanks for the reminder about how not to raise him!!

VetOnCall · 03/07/2018 23:34

Jesus, anyone who fed my dogs anything like that would be removing the frying pan from their arse. Playing with bleach with your kids and potentially giving your dogs pancreatitis, not to mention being a cocklodging manchild... you need to get rid of him yesterday.

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 03/07/2018 23:44

He sounds horrendous - I would get rid! Good luck op!!

Ethylred · 03/07/2018 23:57

Sorry but black pudding for the dogs is the funniest thing on this forum.

PickAChew · 04/07/2018 00:03

Manchild. The further away, the better.

Though "a bit argument" suggests you're in my part of the world where manchild seems to be endemic.

MyOtherProfile · 04/07/2018 06:31

Has he gone yet?

MrsZippyLake · 04/07/2018 06:51

Six months? You have the patience of a saint! Is he still there?

Ninabean17 · 04/07/2018 07:00

Get him out!

Poloshot · 04/07/2018 07:17

What a nightmare

PurpleStarInCashmereSky · 04/07/2018 07:35

He clearly sees paying the bills as doing you a favour he can opt out of rather than a normal human responsibilty to pay his way.

Get him gone.

Discotits · 04/07/2018 07:41

Sounds like you’re going out with my brother.

Willow2017 · 04/07/2018 07:51

How on earth have you lasted 6 months?

Dump the childish, selfish and frankly dangerously stupid idiot today and dont look back. And tell him you are not hus mummy and no future woman will be volenteering for the role either, time he grew up.

NorthernSpirit · 04/07/2018 07:52

God get rid. Man child who hasn’t grown up. His oarehts should of taught him some independence but sadly haven’t. Too late for him, it will never change. Let his mum run round after him.

WhiteWalkerWife · 04/07/2018 07:58

Kick him out. He is so thoughtless, he is a danger to your kids and to your dogs. The rest is just ridiculous.

Do yourself a favour and save your time, money and stress levels.

Imchlibob · 04/07/2018 07:59

I know I am echoing but yes the mind boggles that you have tolerated this for so long. Dump him. Expel him back to mummy's house. In future only form a relationship with a man who has demonstrated the capacity to live independently without someone else being responsible for hygiene of kitchen bathroom and clothing.

DevilsDoorbell · 04/07/2018 08:03

Please tell me you’ve ended the relationship too

GabriellaMontez · 04/07/2018 09:02

Omg. How have you put up with this so long? Is he an amazing shag?