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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For asking DP to move out after 6 months?

157 replies

YouBloodyPigeon · 03/07/2018 14:45

I have essentially moved in another child.

He's 32 and never lived away from him mum and she did everything for him. When he asked about moving in here I said he would have to pull his weight with the housework and bills. I don't expect him to pay towards the mortgage but bills and groceries definately.

First month he paid up fine. Second month he announced a new PS4 game was coming out and he had to buy the limited edition for £75 so bill money would be a bit short. I was fuming and told him that wasn't on. He had a bit argument and eventually he agreed that it was selfish and he wouldn't do it again.

2nd and 3rd month fine. 4th month he announced he had to go on a stag weekend so I had a choice between receiving less bill money or buying all the groceries for one month. He just takes the piss, it's a fucking joke.

On top of that he gets a shower and just leaves all his clothes piled up on the toilet for me to move. First few times I did as I needed the toilet but after a few weeks of this I started just swiping them off the big onto the floor. This resulted in him calling me petty and childish, going off in a huff etc. I'm not fucking having it!! He never makes dinner, never washes up - one time I told him we both work so either he cooks or tidied kitchen after cooking. He said he'd do the kitchen. So after dinner he spends 5 minutes in the kitchen, comes out and says "all done! The only thing I haven't done is the pans." I went in to look and all he HAD done is piled up the dirty pots in the sink for me to wash!!! He just doesn't seem to grasp it at all.

Other incidents include him starting a water fight with my kids - with BLEACH water from a bucket.

And yesterday's incident - he decided to sort the fridge out so cooked bacon, sausages, eggs, black pudding etc etc - all out of date stuff that he'd left in there - for my dogs. They're fucking champion show dogs. I was so angry I cried. One of them was sick all night. I just think he's beyond it and needs to go. I know it takes a while for someone to get used to not living with their mother but with the other stuff, the bleach water and the dogs I don't even feel he can be trusted in the house.

AIBU to just chuck him out without warning? I've really had enough.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 03/07/2018 15:05

No dilemma here

Lovemusic33 · 03/07/2018 15:07

Chuck him out, nothing worse than a man child, it will only get worse, you have taken over the role of his mother Sad get rid.

Aquamarine1029 · 03/07/2018 15:07

You will be making the best decision of your life by getting rid of him. Find yourself a real man!

HollowTalk · 03/07/2018 15:08

Upstairs now and pack his bags. What an idiot he is.

DiegoMadonna · 03/07/2018 15:08

This is one of the clearest "LTB"s I've seen on here

cjt110 · 03/07/2018 15:09

throwing away an entire chicken that I had bought because he saw a fly in the same room I read this as..... "throwing away an entire chicken because he saw a fly it across the room" Grin

He sounds like more of a chore than something to cherish. It also sounds like you've been fair in the past - putting up with short bill money. He's taking the piss.

BarbarianMum · 03/07/2018 15:11
TheHodgeoftheHedge · 03/07/2018 15:13

Six months? Fuck that, I can't believe you waited so long. He's an immature arsehole.

beenandgoneandbackagain · 03/07/2018 15:13

I'm surprised you've kept him after the fourth month? Definitely don't invest any more time with him. He has had his chance to change and to prove he can be an adult, and he has failed miserably. I'm sure he will be all contrite and full of empty promises when you boot him out. don't fall for it or you will probably find yourself in the same place again in 4 months time.

AcrossthePond55 · 03/07/2018 15:14

Is he still there? I'd have had him gone by the second month.

Hidillyho · 03/07/2018 15:16

Change the locks and ghost him

On a more serious note, these aren’t small issues. You are equals when I’m a relationship and he should be pulling his weight. It sounds as though he is the type that won’t take you seriously until you take action. Does he just think bills are put on hold so he can go on a stag do or buy a new game?

Did you know his mum paid his credit card bill before he moved in as this would have been some insight for your future of living arrangements

UKsounding · 03/07/2018 15:16

“I'm surprised the sex has been good enough for you to have him there for a week, let alone six months.

evict, change locks, raise standards.”

I never wished that MN had a like button as much as I did after reading this!

Sammyham88 · 03/07/2018 15:20

Get this man baby out your house and life ASAP. Teaching your dogs to attack for a "laugh"? Scum

Bananalanacake · 03/07/2018 15:22

How long were you in a relationship with him before he moved in? I always say 5 years minimum, any less isn't enough. Though this may not be the case for everyone.
What a waste of a chicken. It was still wrapped. That is a bit dim.

Maelstrop · 03/07/2018 15:24

YANBU. Get rid asap, I wouldn't tolerate him treating my dogs in that way. A new PS4 game meant he wasn't going to pay his own bills?! What a twat!

choli · 03/07/2018 15:26

Get wise, get rid before you get pregnant and have to deal with this idiot until the child is 18.

ReanimatedSGB · 03/07/2018 15:26

Bloody hell, he must either look like Di Caprio or have a solid gold willy. Bin, move on, don't look back.

notapizzaeater · 03/07/2018 15:28

How's he man aged to get to 32 and still be so bloody thick .! Def LtB

TheFirstMrsOsmond · 03/07/2018 15:28

32?? He sounds half that age. I'm amazed you lasted 6 months.

Jaxhog · 03/07/2018 15:28

I'm surprised he's still there. I would have chucked him out a long, long time ago. Tell him if he wants a Mum, to go back home.

Wellfuckmeinbothears · 03/07/2018 15:28

There isn’t a dilemma. You don’t like him because he’s twat. So get rid!

MistressDeeCee · 03/07/2018 15:31

He's 32 and never lived away from his mum and she did everything for him

Well then. He'd of course want a replacement mum. & I guess his money was his own. Surely you're not surprised by his behaviour and attitude?

Just get rid and get your life and space back. He'll be ok he can go back to mummy.

I'm at a loss as to the appeal of these types of men. As a young fling maybe, but permanently in the house? It would take a very physically and emotionally strong women to cope with the mess they create both practically and mentally.

LannieDuck · 03/07/2018 15:31

Did he really not think that washing up the pans counted as part of his half of the chore? Maybe he thought they'd be cleaned by magic? /headdesk

Travis1 · 03/07/2018 15:31

This is what my husband would have been like if he'd stayed at home much longer and what I fear my BIL may turn out like(though in fairness to him he pays his way and his own bills) get rid now. Easier to be alone than with someone pulling you down.

Orangecake123 · 03/07/2018 15:34

Heck I couldn't live with someone like that.

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