Horrid texts about me on MILs phone, should I say something

[Raspberryberetthekindyoufind]

DH, DS (five) are on holiday abroad with inlaws and I have no signal on my phone so I borrowed MILs phone to ring my mum as it’s her birthday today. As I was about to make the phone call a message from SIL (we hate each other) came through saying “I am glad the stupid bitch is not spoiling it this year for you all”
So wanting to know what this was about I did check MILs messages only to find many messages to SIL saying “thank gods the fits have “stayed away” this year” and “the lazy cow is pulling her weight this year” then messages back from SIL saying “it’s his fault he knew when he marriages her she had them” and “don’t know how he puts up with her”
Back story last year we went away and I had quite a few seizures (I am epileptic) and for two days I was completely floored and was told by DH to either sleep inside or just stay on the sunbed. I did have about five other seizures which knocked me out for a hour or so.
There is also a message on the phone to MILs best friend saying the same things she has messaged to SIL with best friend replying back “glad your holiday is not ruined this year”
I just feel like shit now and dont know what to do. If the message had not popped up from SIL I would never have checked MILs phone. I don’t know what to do I felt so guilty last year and MIL and FIL kept saying “it’s ok” and “don’t worry you cant help it”.
I now know MIL was prob slagging me off to all in sundry about her wrecked holiday. I know for a fact DH stayed with them the whole time last year with DS and left them in peace by the pool one of the days I was out of it and took DS to the beach
Feel like total shit I don’t know if I should say something now, tell DH, wait till we get home or just leave it

Apparently MIL is back, if she even went in the first place

Oh gawd ...

She should be embarrassed by her behavior.

How embarrassing for your MIL coming back! Wonder if she'll show her face or hide the rest of the holiday?

I’d suggest a tip off to the airport customs officers about mature women used as drugs mules...

Well done OP!
Maybe you could cross-stitch her a one way ticket home!! 😂

Ha ha. She’s back!

I’d still give your nephew the cross stitch. It would be petty not to as it’s for him not her. It sounds as if he needs as much love as possible from wider family. Don’t play the sil games. It is unbecoming.

Dying to know if MIL shows her face!

Has MIL shown her face? she must have eaten at some point.

Joining MILwatch

Good grief!! The things your SIL has done!! I think you’re a saint to be in any sort of contact with either of them!! SO glad DH has your back and your FIL seems a decent sort too.

Imagine the texts back and forth between MIL and SIL now! RSI from stabbing the screen!

How did SIL run out of your ceremony sobbing? You mean in the middle of it?

Joining MIL watch!! I can’t believe how they’ve both treated you. Disgusting.

When the adoption social worker carrying out the assessment spoke to you and DH about your SIL's fitness to adopt, did you not think to mention her nasty character?

Personally I would still do the cross stitch for the baby. It's not their fault their mum is a bitch and although you both hate each other you would be giving her ammo if you don't. Whereas if you do it then it shows your the bigger and clearly better person.
Imagine the moaning by 'my brothers wife is such a bitch....' friend 'that's a lovely cross stitch who did it.....' you win on all levels and she ends up with mud on her face!

If SIL is anything like MIL, than op is totally justified, they both sound like a nasty pair of toxic individuals.

SIL: and she made a cross stitch for my son
Friend: what a bitch!

I would kill them with kindness OP. Less messy and more legal

rsi from stabbing the screen

Agree its rather worrying to me think such a person has adopted a child. No human is perfect but this..

I agree, @RayneDance it is worrying that SIL was approved to adopt a child. But unfortunately, it's very easy to know what to say to make a good impression. Re the family reference, you only need one family member to give a reference and doubtless she put MIL down as her referee.

Be careful. You have a window of opportunity to show her up for what she is right now but if the saga drags on, FIL May recert loyalty back to MIL and everyone will start to forget the nasty texts. Keep your dignity and high ground.
Re: the adopted nephew. I thought the adoption process was extremely rigorous. How did a personality like that slip through the net?

It is rigorous, but social workers don't spy on family gatherings to see how the applicants behave towards other family members. It's quite likely that SIL has never stepped out of line at work and that she's an upstanding member of her local community.

When you're applying to adopt, naturally you will choose as referees friends and family who will give you a glowing reference.

Social workers don't have time to interview all family members, sadly.

No - but if I had such a nasty piece of work in my family and I knew they were applying to adopt a vulnerable child I would use my initiative and contact them myself

She just sounds unstable to me, all the wedding stuff etx

I’m thinking rigorous in that in the many interviews they have, there should be the sense that this person isn’t suitable e.g. too rigid ideas about parenting and so on. Surely the mask would slip.