Horrid texts about me on MILs phone, should I say something

[Raspberryberetthekindyoufind]

DH, DS (five) are on holiday abroad with inlaws and I have no signal on my phone so I borrowed MILs phone to ring my mum as it’s her birthday today. As I was about to make the phone call a message from SIL (we hate each other) came through saying “I am glad the stupid bitch is not spoiling it this year for you all”
So wanting to know what this was about I did check MILs messages only to find many messages to SIL saying “thank gods the fits have “stayed away” this year” and “the lazy cow is pulling her weight this year” then messages back from SIL saying “it’s his fault he knew when he marriages her she had them” and “don’t know how he puts up with her”
Back story last year we went away and I had quite a few seizures (I am epileptic) and for two days I was completely floored and was told by DH to either sleep inside or just stay on the sunbed. I did have about five other seizures which knocked me out for a hour or so.
There is also a message on the phone to MILs best friend saying the same things she has messaged to SIL with best friend replying back “glad your holiday is not ruined this year”
I just feel like shit now and dont know what to do. If the message had not popped up from SIL I would never have checked MILs phone. I don’t know what to do I felt so guilty last year and MIL and FIL kept saying “it’s ok” and “don’t worry you cant help it”.
I now know MIL was prob slagging me off to all in sundry about her wrecked holiday. I know for a fact DH stayed with them the whole time last year with DS and left them in peace by the pool one of the days I was out of it and took DS to the beach
Feel like total shit I don’t know if I should say something now, tell DH, wait till we get home or just leave it

You read your MIL's text messages to her daughter and her best friend?! Good luck explaining that.

Have you handed back the phone? If not forward on all messages to your dh.
Don't worry about snooping. He can see how bad it is for himself and you can decide together what to do.

I don't blame you for looking OP.

Obviously a person of strong moral fibre would have resisted, but most of us are human.

I could understand the bitching with her daughter as It's tough to have a foot in 2 camps, but the friend is something else.

You didn't seek her phone out to snoop, you accidentally came across them. No one would have stopped looking after that first text.

Nowt you can do now without risking giving them ammunition.

Play the long game. Cut them out.

Candy - but the first text popped up when she was using her MIL's phone (given to her by MIL), SIL wouldn't have sent that text if she didn't know MIL felt the same way and would respond in kind.

So really, it's irrelevant whether op looked further or not. The damage was done by that first text.

how long do you have left to go? if you go home today/tomorrow i'd leave it and talk to DH once you are home, but any longer than that, i'd tell him now. I'm sorry OP. what a pair of bitches, as if you can help being unwell!

Usually I’d object to looking through someone else’s phone, but in this instance I don’t blame you OP.

How awful for you to read such unfair and nasty things being said about you.

I’m with PP, tell your DH and cut contact with them for your own sanity.

DH would've known before mumsnet, purely because I'd have told him immediately.

Speak to your DH. It's foul of them to be slagging you off like this 'lazy cow' and 'stu[pid bitch'??

Still, you absolutely should not have looked at/opened any messages, that was very wrong of you.

I have taken photos my my phone of the messages on her phone and also taken a picture of the call log that a rang my mum after (and cried down the phone to her) to show the times link in with each other to show the text would have come through when I had her phone.
Going to try and leave it till we get back. I know DH will be completely on my side and he will go mad but I don’t want to spoil the holiday

This horrible, I had inlaws like this . MIL is now dead and we don't ever speak to SIL now. It's really distressing. Hard to know what to do without your MIL knowing you were snooping. I would avoid them like the plague in future.

Don’t worry that you looked. It’s good that you did because at least you know where you stand. I would tell your DH immediately, try and get through the next few days, then when you return home go NC. Your DH should tell MIL that you accidentally saw those messages and you will never see her again. 💐

Also SIL had begged my DH to come and do her garden when he gets back which will take all weekend and also for me to crossstich a picture for her new babies (neices) room as I did one for nephew. Guess what two things won’t be happening now.

I would obviously never go on holiday with mil again and I'd definitley go very lc. They can bugger off wanting to see your dc.

No one can even question you about snooping, I know for a fact 99% of us would do the same if we saw an unpleasant message come though about ourselves.
I'd keep my distance from mil for the remainder of the 3 days, and discuss it with H on the way home.

You and MIL don't like each other. Stop taking holidays together.

And when you do go away, stay off the sunbed for goodness' sake - it'll make your fitting worse.

I agree with Candyflip. You say you were weak, OP, when you looked at your mother-in-law's messages: maybe she was weak by allowing other people she loves to say mean things about you. And she can maintain sympathy/concern for your medical condition while being a bit resentful that her holiday might have been restricted in ways that she didn't anticipate. It's not an either/or. Humans are complex and capable of holding views simultaneously that might appear contradictory.

I'd have to say something so she knows you know. What's dh relationship like with them ?

But SIL did not expect OP would read her text blueskypink the OP would not have even known it was about her if she hadn’t snooped.

I did like mother in law before this and what evidence do you have to say lying on a sunbed makes seizures worse?. I know my triggers and lying on a sunbed in the shade in not one of them.

If you haven’t already given back the phone, when you do, say to her ‘A text from your daughter came through while I was on the call, did you see?’ She’ll then read the text and will shit herself - and start wondering if you read the others. Absolutely do NOT tell her you saw the others; she’ll turn it around by making it about you snooping. Instead, let her panic, in the knowledge that if she asks, she’s dropping herself and her daughter in it. Let the bitch squirm.

“I am glad the stupid bitch is not spoiling it this year for you all”

Candy flip - how could the op have not known this was about her?

You need to tell your DH now. Fuck waiting until after the holiday. Tell him and enjoy the rest of your holiday just the two of you without PIL.

Not sure who else that text from SIL could have been about if not me
“I am glad the stupid bitch is not ruining it for you all this year”.