Can I call the police?

[scoobydoobydooo]

Really quick question. My ex is a complete fuckwit.

I have just handed over dc for contact, I stated a time and place for him to drop him off. I had a funny feeling he would not agree to it, so I recorded the handover, where I clearly state the time and place to which he needs to drop off, he agrees several times, then walks off with dc shouting 'see you at the time he wants'...

There is a huge backstory to all of this that I cannot go into for various reasons, but if he does not return her as he agreed to just before I handed over the dc, can I call the police? As you can imagine, his behaviour is completely unhinged and unreasonable, I need as much evidence as I can get. Or am I being ridiculous?

You are right Gemini, no court order means no access.

I think the difficulty is that there has already been access historically albeit intermittent. That's the tricky element that needs careful handling. The courts will look to give access if they can. They may not give any as there is obviously more to it than has been posted. And if he may not even apply anyway.

But you are right.

Yes Scoobydoobydooo based on a decade of experience- but from the position of non resident parent. My husbands ex unreasonably withheld contact.. Just said No.
He had to make a Court application. He had also been seeing the children but this happened when I was introduced.
Made all kinds of allegations from drug taking to alcoholism and abuse of the children. . It doesn't matter for the sake of the process, that these allegations were untrue - just that she was able to put them in front of the court. - in the same way you can.

Before the first hearing was a brief interview with CAFCASS outlining the mothers objections to contact .
This meant that my DH had to agree to both liver function and hair strand tests. Another 6 weeks elapsed until the next hearing- where the tests were shown to be negative or in the case of liver function - not compatible with the allegations.
It was only then that the court ordered contact. Even then it was very specific. EOW at 6pm until Sunday at 6pm. Other times by AGREEMENT BETWEEN BOTH PARTIES. In our case (and yours I suspect) the other party was always so unreasonable there never were other times agreed unless she wanted them gone.

Please don't start running up legal bills when you have little money. If you have legal aid through experience of DV , then of course use it. Ultimately this is ALL HIS TO DO. (and his to finance) Not you.

Without a court order he gets nowhere.

I'm no expert others are giving good advice.

One thing though if he has not given her a drink in this heat he cannot be trusted to look after her.

I would refuse to hand her over because she isn't looked after. If you were the one not feeding her, not changing her etc then SS would be involved. I don't see why it is different when it is him.

Agreed, *sashh.
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Thanks for that ivechangedmyusername, would I be able to pm you?

I am listening and taking all the advice given on board. As I said, I need to speak to my solicitor this morning regarding the situation. I've checked re legal aid, and have a supporting letter from PLO and victim support lady confirming the dv, however I did an online check regarding legal aid, and apparently my earnings are too high (yeah right, I've been on SMP forever it feels like now, and as I said, no financial contribution from him to speak of...).

I agree, let him make a court application if he wants access, and in the meantime offer only very restricted and supervised access, on the basis that he is not looking after her prope ly, and failed to return her at the agreed times. He doesn't have to agree, you just have to make the offer, as explained upthread.

If she's dehydrated etc after he's had her, take her To the doctors, get it recorded. She's young enough for that to be really serious.
He sounds awful, and like he has brainwashed you into doing what he wants.
You don't have to agree to his demands.
He may eventually get a court order but he hasn't done yet.
And you don't need to point that out to him yet eithe r.

Did the solicitor call you back?

Yes of course. OP