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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

I'm your Mil ask me anything

498 replies

Milfromhades · 30/06/2018 21:00

I don't think iabu to rearrange your knicker drawer, just being helpful! Any questions on how to be a good mummy or what amount of sugar is appropriate for a 2 year old?

OP posts:
CovenofMiLsfromHades · 31/10/2018 17:24

I know I am known for my patience as well as my winsome smile and of course I never like to be the centre of attention, but I feel it my duty to keep bumping until I return to active threads. How else will I be able to help the many, many young women who so clearly need my wisdom on so many subjects - and tough love when it comes to getting that filthy hovel into a state fit for my Son.

CovenofMiLsfromHades · 31/10/2018 18:10

I thought I would give a little unasked for, but no doubt welcome advice on how to cook the perfect Roast Dinner, since yours are what I would have to call second rate. I'm sure you are trying, but a little attention to detail makes all the difference. As you know it is one of my Son's favourites so do try to stop disappointing him. Of course he is always welcome to come home for his Sunday dinner as you know. I perfectly understand you need to watch your weight though so I will make you a wee salad if you are tagging along.

Well as to my methods I always like to start with quality ingredients. M&S or Waitrose are good choices and none of your value ranges in Lidl, dearie me. Now a King Edward potato will give a nice crispy texture especially if roasted in goose fat if you can find it. NOT Olive oil, we are British after all! Jamie Oliver, I am looking at you dear.

If you can't find a decent butcher in your area, and frankly I'm not surprised since you refused to move into that house across the road from myself and ended up in a most undesirable location. Still we will say no more on that subject for now . You can pick up a decent joint of meat in the Supermarket or a nice organic chicken as favoured by the Prince of Wales.

A good basting is what makes the difference and do try not to overcook it. I find it easy to judge after years of experience but you may need to set a timer or use a meat thermometer, in fact in your case I would advise both methods. Always double up on protection dear as my own MiL used to say, we aren't Roman Catholics after all.

If you should be faced with a Vegetarian I suggest giving them a haughty stare and making them question their life choices. They will then be happy to make do with a cheese sandwich or may even decide to eat elsewhere, a good result all round!

I shall add a few more recipes later but not my jam recipe as I wouldn't trust you with a lot of boiling sugar. Think of the mess you'd make!

Otterses · 31/10/2018 18:42

No questions Grin but I'm delighted this has popped up again MIL.

Do tell me, have you ever seen a ghost? Or rung one of those telephone psychics?

CookieDoughKid · 31/10/2018 18:45

Why do you only see your grandkids twice a year and a few hours at most? What's the point of having your own children if you don't like spending time with them. Are you a crap lazy mother in law?

CookieDoughKid · 31/10/2018 18:47

Not you personally obviously but would like your take on our mil who is quite frankly extremely tight (despite high wealth) . Think fiver in a Christmas card.

CovenofMiLsfromHades · 31/10/2018 18:49

Well it seems I am talking to myself this evening, as I always say there is nothing wrong in that, as least you have an intelligent person to talk with!

I'm quite all right here on my own, I know you young people have busy lives these days.
It was different in my day, a young girl lived to please her MiL. I remember the day when my own MiL unbent enough to let me make her a cup of tea. She only made a small grimace on tasting it too, and the next Christmas she actually remembered my name when writing her annual Christmas round robin message. I would have preferred she not discuss my yeast infection with the whole family but I am sure she meant well and they were all pleased to hear it had cleared up.

CovenofMiLsfromHades · 31/10/2018 19:05

Do tell me, have you ever seen a ghost? Or rung one of those telephone psychics?

Oh yes I always like to check with my psychic before making any major life decisions. I have to say the spirits have had a few dire warnings about yourself but unfortunately my son thinks it is all a load of hokum, even when I point out they were quite right about the Brexit and that hussy Theresa May.

CovenofMiLsfromHades · 31/10/2018 19:09

Why do you only see your grandkids twice a year and a few hours at most?

I'm afraid I prefer the idea of dgc to the actual reality, but in my defence I have dedicated a lovely pinterest board to my darling Grandchildren the light of my life!

Ohheyyy · 31/10/2018 19:14

Why can't you understand that honesty isn't always the best policy and your words aren't helpful, they're hurtful.

Ohheyyy · 31/10/2018 19:14

And by honesty I actually mean your opinion.

CovenofMiLsfromHades · 31/10/2018 19:16

Not you personally obviously but would like your take on our mil who is quite frankly extremely tight (despite high wealth) . Think fiver in a Christmas card.

She probably doesn't like you. Unfortunately not many MiL have my ability to set aside their personal feelings and remember who is probably choosing their nursing home. I recommend starting a feud on FB that is always entertaining.

CovenofMiLsfromHades · 31/10/2018 19:21

Why can't you understand that honesty isn't always the best policy and your words aren't helpful, they're hurtful.

Dearie me you're so touchy, it was just a wee joke about you looking a little tubby these days.

Ohheyyy · 31/10/2018 19:31

🤣🤣🤣 I wish that was actually the crap thay came out her mouth

bringbackfonzi · 31/10/2018 19:54

Hi MIL, why do you insist of feeding my dc sweetd with gelatine even though I have explained to you for many years that they are vegetarian and do not eat gelatine?
Why do you give me all your cast-off towels, cutlery, homeware etc? Is it not obvious to you that we have different taste?

CovenofMiLsfromHades · 31/10/2018 20:02

Now to address the important question of who is best Mrs Hinch or TOMM. Obviously both young ladies have the right idea in being keen on cleaning, but I am afraid their standards are absolutely shocking. Mrs Hinch doesn't even iron her own clothes and she has totally done away with her nets and replaced them with those horrible modern blinds and as for wee Gemma, the organised mum, her whole method seems to be based around cleaning for just 30 minutes a day! Very lax and if I were her MiL I should have something to say about that!
So if you want cleaning tips I really recommend coming to myself or some older woman with high Standards and learn how to do things properly.

CovenofMiLsfromHades · 31/10/2018 20:06

Hi MIL, why do you insist of feeding my dc sweets with gelatine even though I have explained to you for many years that they are vegetarian and do not eat gelatine?
I just think its a bit daft and prefer to ignore you.

CovenofMiLsfromHades · 31/10/2018 20:07

Why do you give me all your cast-off towels, cutlery, homeware etc? Is it not obvious to you that we have different taste?

Sadly yes, but I am hoping yours will improve eventually.

MollyHuaCha · 31/10/2018 20:11

I hear you have overestimated the number of trick or treating children you would get this evening, MIL.

What are you going to do with the leftovers?

By the way, how's Weightwatchers going?

ChiaraRimini · 31/10/2018 20:17

Dear MILFromHades,
Are you from Morningside?

CovenofMiLsfromHades · 31/10/2018 20:20

Why do you give me all your cast-off towels, cutlery, homeware etc? Is it not obvious to you that we have different taste?

I dont know what you are trying to imply, as you know I generally eat like a bird (and not a flipping gannet as your FiL so rudely said that time he had too much beer at Cousin Samantha's wedding). I must admit it was a happy accident that the dear kiddies did not seem to want the 3 boxes of violet cremes and we don't want them going to waste. Food waste is a crime.

CovenofMiLsfromHades · 31/10/2018 20:21

Oops that last answer was to Mollyhuacha

CovenofMiLsfromHades · 31/10/2018 20:24

Dear MILFromHades,
Are you from Morningside?

I do have Scottish roots dear but I have been living here in Milton Keynes for some time.

CookieDoughKid · 31/10/2018 20:33

coven Thank you. Most entertaining ;)Grin

CovenofMiLsfromHades · 31/10/2018 20:41

Now for those of you who are wondering how I keep my enviable figure, it is of course partly due to good genes and my naturally small appetite butI have been known to go to WW occasionally myself - being such a wonderful baker and cake decorator does have a downside. Or in your case it may just be that you are hoovering up the children's leftovers, you are so like my old Labrador in that way. Just a shame you don't like long walks as much as him.

It may be a little controversial these days but you may want to consider taking up smoking. Of course it is bad for you and socially unacceptable but the idea of you cowering outside in the rain, while all tut and look superior must come second to your dream of fitting into a size 10 frock and sticking it to that snobby cow who does the weigh in at WW class. She is 15 stone at least and there is no need for her lip when we have put on a lb!

CovenofMiLsfromHades · 31/10/2018 21:55

I am sure you have all been wondering about what your MiL thinks about the environment. In my day we did not have the environment but I know it's something you youngsters are very keen on.
Now it's easy to say global warming would save us having to buy a place in Spain and the destruction of all spiders and wasps is a laudable goal . But let's not forget there is a downside. For a start that latest hot summer was most uncomfortable and we wouldn't want that every year. Then there is the idea of reducing plastic. I am ahead of my time there with my shopping trolley and thermos!
So in conclusion while we may think the environment is a bit of a pain with all the hippies and so on, let's not forget that the Prince of Wales has been a fan for years and despite his questionable taste in wives he is the future king and so we should all buy our provisions from the Duchy of Cornwall and do our bit!

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