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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

I'm your Mil ask me anything

498 replies

Milfromhades · 30/06/2018 21:00

I don't think iabu to rearrange your knicker drawer, just being helpful! Any questions on how to be a good mummy or what amount of sugar is appropriate for a 2 year old?

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bringincrazyback · 22/08/2018 15:15

Do you actually think it's acceptable to do the 'dust test' when you visit your son and DIL's home?

Tinkerbellisnotafairy · 22/08/2018 15:46

And another thing (God this is cathartic!) - stop pretending to be so nice when you're a bitchy passive aggressive old hag. If you don't like me, then have the decency to tell me rather than simper up to my face and then send calculatedly mean texts behind my back TO MY OWN MOTHER

Oobis · 22/08/2018 16:01

Why are you so obsessed with my niece and disinterested in my children?

Original poster
Milfromhades · 22/08/2018 16:15

Why do you keep me and DC at your house for hours until they are bored and whiny, and then as we are leaving, SUDDENLY remember ten million REALLY important things to ask DH, so that the DC get even more irritable, and you can find another excuse to point out my bad parenting?

Honestly I think you've answered your own question here.

why is it ok for DH to go out whenever he likes with whomever he chooses, but when I dare to have an evening out with my oldest friend who happens to be a male, I'm an alcoholic cheating whore who is abandoning my children?

I don't really hold with women having friends, certainly not male friends. A few frenemies to go down the bingo with is quite sufficient.

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Original poster
Milfromhades · 22/08/2018 16:19

Ignoring me again MIL? Shocker

Dearie me I see what DS means about you being a nag. Well thats how I interpreted what he said about needing to get home as he had a few chores to do.

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Original poster
Milfromhades · 22/08/2018 16:23

Do you actually think it's acceptable to do the 'dust test' when you visit your son and DIL's home?
At least I don't write FILTH in the dust like Kim from How Clean is Your House (what a woman!) So you see I am really quite easy going.

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Original poster
Milfromhades · 22/08/2018 16:35

And another thing (God this is cathartic!) - stop pretending to be so nice when you're a bitchy passive aggressive old hag. If you don't like me, then have the decency to tell me rather than simper up to my face and then send calculatedly mean texts behind my back TO MY OWN MOTHER
Dearie me how you do run on. I completely blanked out what you were saying. I was thinking about Christmas, you are coming as usual aren't you? It will be fun!

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Original poster
Milfromhades · 22/08/2018 16:53

And please stop trying to feed DS things that you KNOW he's allergic to because you think I'm being precious about it.... No, actually he will projectile vomit over your precious sofa (although that would probably make it look better).

We never had all these allergies in my day. I'm sure you've have trained him to do the vomiting trick as a personal insult to me. I said as much to your mother when I texted.

(Of course the Xmas invite still stands. I'm a very forgiving person. Btw your mother quite understands you need to come to me every year, as I explained to her in my text poor ds can't be expected to eat an Inferior Turkey).

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Original poster
Milfromhades · 22/08/2018 17:33

Why are you so obsessed with my niece and disinterested in my children?

It's not that I am obsessed with darling Isabella, although she is a very pretty girl whereas your two are decidedly plain. However I must admit the real reason is that it is very funny to see your face when I start to bang on about her. That earnest way you say "Oh has she?" When I tell you she has learned to play the flute or something. Just my sense of humour, I do like a wee chuckle.

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BloodyDisgrace · 22/08/2018 17:38

Are you good at growing clematis? Do you collect horse shit when on a walk in the countryside, or buy a sack from a garden centre? Can you sew a hem on a sewing machine without tacking it first? Do you speak Hungarian?

Thank you. That's probably enough for now.

HermitInACave · 22/08/2018 18:18

Love this thread.

Original poster
Milfromhades · 22/08/2018 18:28

Are you good at growing clematis? Do you collect horse shit when on a walk in the countryside, or buy a sack from a garden centre? Can you sew a hem on a sewing machine without tacking it first? Do you speak Hungarian?

Very specific questions there, dear. Let me see, gardening and sewing I am rather good at if I say so myself. Hungarian no, and although I was accused of speaking horseshit by your Fil in that unfortunate incident at Cousin Louisa's wedding the less said about that the better. I certainly wouldn't go picking it up off the roads, a little Miraclegro gives excellent results I find. I have a luxuriant bush and several very healthy pots thanks to my wee shaker. Your Fil normally gets the hose out most nights and that helps to stop things drying out in this heat.

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BloodyDisgrace · 22/08/2018 18:30

Milfromhades

Thank you. Most informative. Fil getting his hose out at night might keep a lot of things from drying ...

NameChangingParanoid · 22/08/2018 18:35

Why have you denied my existence for the last seven years since I split with your DS only to try & hug me yesterday because my Mum is ill - is that really appropriate?!

Original poster
Milfromhades · 22/08/2018 18:40

Thank you. Most informative. Fil getting his hose out at night might keep a lot of things from drying

If he's too tired to get the hose out I will normally do it myself with a large watering can, it's not quite as good but at least it keeps my bush from shrivelling up.

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Original poster
Milfromhades · 22/08/2018 19:36

Why have you denied my existence for the last seven years since I split with your DS only to try & hug me yesterday because my Mum is ill - is that really appropriate

I'm not one to bear a grudge despite your behaviour towards ds Sad. 7 years punishment is enough and you can look forward to a lot more of my supportive involvement in your life from now on. I see you still hide the doorkey under the mat and I have already popped in to give the place a wee spruce up. No need to thank me! I've taken your smalls home to iron as well.

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Feckitall · 22/08/2018 22:03

As a fellow MIL I bow to your expertise and experience..I am making notes.....and note to exDIL ..if you are on here....you aint seen nothing yet! Wink

Original poster
Milfromhades · 22/08/2018 22:25

As a fellow MIL I bow to your expertise and experience..I am making notes.....and note to exDIL ..if you are on here....you aint seen nothing yet! wink
Nice to see a few other MiLs on here and I'm glad to know I've inspired you to raise your standards. You really were rather lax before, I can always tell if dc have a lenient MiL and it is a sorry state of affairs. But don't worry its never too late to turn things around. Your DiL may complain at first but they really like to know who is boss, a bit like dogs.

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cobwebsinthebelfry · 23/08/2018 08:56

You're so good with your answers MIL that I think you must be for real. You could have a vlog and advertise paint stripper Grin

Tinkerbellisnotafairy · 23/08/2018 09:01

And why do you blame me for the break down of our marriage, when it was your DS who has done sweet FA for the past eight years, but expected me to work full time AND raise his children with no thought of myself and MY life?

eeanne · 23/08/2018 09:09

Why did you spend years telling DH that he shouldn't have married a woman from a different national/ethnic origin, when you did the exact same thing and lord it over your friends that you have retirement savings in a hard currency and holiday overseas thanks to your own foreign husband?

Original poster
Milfromhades · 23/08/2018 13:05

You're so good with your answers MIL that I think you must be for real. You could have a vlog and advertise paint stripper grin

Thank you dear, I'm not too sure what a vlog is but I'm assuming its something the dgc would be able to tell me.

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Original poster
Milfromhades · 23/08/2018 13:15

And why do you blame me for the break down of our marriage, when it was your DS who has done sweet FA for the past eight years, but expected me to work full time AND raise his children with no thought of myself and MY life?

Actually I partially blame myself for giving DS the idea its acceptable for women to work. I had a wee job myself when he was growing up, as a secretary to the local councillor. This was in the days of Mrs Thatcher and I was inspired to buy my own power suit and handbag and do my bit in local politics.
But of course this has given poor DS the idea that all women can live up to the organisational standards of myself and the dear late lady Thatcher, and "do it all" as they say, which I'm afraid is just not possible for most ordinary ladies such as yourself. So for this reason I am not really in favour of women working. And so I have told Ds but I'm afraid his expectations have been raised by my own abilities and that is just a cross I have to bear.

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HermitInACave · 23/08/2018 13:26

How do you handle a MIL who doesn't give two craps about her DC. You must have friends that make you shudder when you know how they treat their DS/DC.

Original poster
Milfromhades · 23/08/2018 13:31

Why did you spend years telling DH that he shouldn't have married a woman from a different national/ethnic origin, when you did the exact same thing and lord it over your friends that you have retirement savings in a hard currency and holiday overseas thanks to your own foreign husband?

I'm not a racialist dear, as you know and there are so many acceptable foreigners these days some of whom look perfectly normal and speak quite good English. And of course in some cultures MiLs are held in high esteem which is nice. I must admit I thought your odd ways were down to your nationality for a while, but i now see I was very wrong and they are just personal idiosyncrasies so if ds doesn't mind who am I to quibble.
As for your FiL I must admit I have asked him not to speak to my more snooty friends in case they guess he is foreign and it turned out he was quite happy to go and hide in the shed whenever they visit! So that has made things much easier.

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