To pretend I didn't receive the text

[GinghamStyle]

So background for context. I'm a LP to DS (10.5) currently at the end of Y5. He has ASD and ADHD. He was excluded from school on Wednesday last week until this Wednesday. DS stayed with my mum Monday night to give me a bit of a break as the whole thing had really stressed me out.

At the reintegration meeting on Wednesday, school suggested that he move onto a P/T timetables gling to school in the mornings a school it's the afternoon where he struggles the most. I've recently reduced my hours at work from 3 days to 1 day so I can have time to go to support groups for parents of SEN children, attend counselling and have more time for myself. My boyfriend (who is just that, he does not live with us) and I do not get much time together and so we were looking forward to having more time when he's off work and DS is at school, so this P/T timetable has put a stop to that.

I agreed to the P/T timetable because I need time off from DS and I don't want him to be excluded again (which is likely). I'm lucky that work has been amazing and I'm going to work 9-12 two days a week to herb my hours in. I emailed school saying that I agree to P/T hours 9-12 and that on my work days I'll get to school a soon as I can. There are a couple of days I have counselling and can't cant be before 2 but said I'll ask my mum to pick up these day she if she's off, otherwise I'll collect at 2. I also said that in September he should return to school full time.

I received a letter from school yesterday saying that DS will be in school for 15 hours a week 8:50 - 11:30 and that when I have counselling I should take DS with me. They also requested that I work with them so I emailed back asking them to work with me! Stressed is an understatement.

Mum had previously agreed to have DS every other Saturday night and I checked with her yesterday if she was still OK to have him tonight. She confirmed that she isn't doing anything and so to bring him around after she's back from work.

This morning, she text saying that she's not able to have DS tonight's as she has stuff to do. I really need some time outside of this house!!

So if I just ignore this message and pretend I haven't received it, AIBU?

Apologies for not rtft - I got to your post about not punishing for certain behaviours and wanted to comment before I forgot.

It is vital to take control and give consequences for unwanted behaviour. Even more so with asd/adhd. These kids need strong structure and guidance. Rewarding the good and not the bad. I have a son the same. Even with his conditions he knows right from wrong and has a consequence or reward for good and negative actions.

He can't grow up sheltered from boundaries because you aren't enforcing them. You are setting him up to fail.

The ehcp requires input from the EP SALT senco paeds and any other professional involved. Kids can't be put on a reduced timetable without a PVPE panel agreeing to it. Then a plan for reintegration within a set time frame has to be agreed on aswell. Time with your bf doesn't have to be outside nor does it have to exclude your son.

Honestly involving kids with these conditions HELPS. It's all a learning curve for you and him. And if you boyfriend is any kind of decent man he will appreciate any time with you home or out, alone or with your son.

Please try and be positive. The more negative you are the more your son will feed on that and mirror the attitude.

And buy your mum some flowers. You have npnidea how lucky you are to have a rock like her

I meant it when I said about it being a national disgrace.