To have said this?

[MrsHappyAndMrCool]

So me and DS6 went to do a food shop this morning, he needed to go to the toilet so I took him into the ladies.

There was a lady in there with 3 girls, there was a little bit of silliness towards my son going on amongst the three girls whilst we waited for a cubicle to become free, which I ignored because I know girls can be very silly when it comes to things like this.

Then the biggest girl said “Mum why is there boy in here” very loudly, the mother then turnt to me and said “Couldn’t you have taken him into mother and baby or round the back of somewhere because he is making my daughters feel uncomfortable”

I am usually very good at ignoring people, I replied by saying “don’t be so pathetic you silly silly woman” a few more words were exchanged then I went on to tell her to stop embarrassing herself.

I feel a bit bad now, was IBU?

PositivelyPERF - No he is a very small 6, he is still in age 4 clothing, it would be more understanding if my son looked older for his age.

I would have preferred you to say and woof to you lady .

I would have reacted in the same manner as you. Your son is 6 NOT 16. You as his mum have a right to take him to the toilet where he feels safe not to send him Off on his own in the gents toilet. Does she not realise there could be anyone hanging around in the gents.

You summed this woman up correctly by saying she was silly. What kind of comment is “you could have taken him somewhere else”

KittyHawke80 - Not another one of what? I haven’t been active on this site for a few days, and no I didn’t scream it at her I used a normal tone.

Nope you were not unreasonable in the slightest. She was rude and ridiculous and you were within your rights to tell her so,

It was a little harsh but she started it so frankly I’d be just forgetting it.

I would have said worse

I think you were, quite restrained really. Ridiculous woman encouraging her daughters to be mean. Good fo r you.

Ridiculous woman encouraging her daughters to be mean

I rather think it’s important to encourage our daughters to speak up if they’re uncomfortable. That isn’t mean.

OP, unless your DS was doing something to make the girls feel uncomfortable, I'd be annoyed with the suggestion that my six year old boy coming into the toilets with his mother was making them uncomfortable by his very being, not least as the girls appear to have just been giggling about it and not actually uncomfortable.

Also, the suggestion that he should go pee up a wall somewhere outside is a bit odd when you're already in the toilets.

It sounds like a perfect response. She was a silly, silly women.

YWNBU, she started being rude! How dare she shame your son who had every right to be there with you - he is only 6!

Read what I said. I’m on your side. ‘Another one of these’ where the OP recounts a story where they’ve reacted to someone’s original rudeness in a slightly irritable way, and people start accusing them of being ‘disgustingly rude’ 🤢 or ‘completely unreasonable’.

I'd of done the exact same thing too OP. My son is 7 and wouldn't be going to the toilet on his own no matter what other people said.

For fuck sake, the world is going mad.

A 6 year old boy with his Mum?! YANBU, she was rude and shouldn't have been so pathetic!!

Does she not realise there could be anyone hanging around in the gents.

It was a supermarket, not Hampstead Heath, none the less a lovely bit of covert 'every bloke is a gay paedo' inference

YABU. He should be capable of going to the mens by himself at six. I presume he goes to the toilet by himself at school?

KittyHawke80 - Sorry for the misunderstanding

LonginesPrime - He wasn’t doing anything to make them feel uncomfortable, I just think it was just a case of them not liking the thought of him being in there because he is a boy. And yes that was a crazy suggestion from her, I don’t want my son to pick up the habit of thinking it’s ok to do it anywhere he wants because he is a boy, and I am never going to be that “go behind/over there” parent

Erm, gay paedos have to eat too.

I rather think it’s important to encourage our daughters to speak up if they’re uncomfortable. That isn’t mean.

Based on the account given above, that wasn't happening. The lady was imposing HER supposed discomfort on her daughter's shoulders.
She showed zero regard for the lady posting who would naturally have felt the more nervous taking her son in there (because it's relatively unusual, but necessary sometimes).

The lady could have said to her daughters 'don't mind the young boy, we're leaving now anyway, and he's with his mummy'. That way, nobody feels uncomfortable.

If we are teaching our children to fear each other at such a young age, it's little wonder there's such a divide. Not only that, but to fear them in the presence of two parents too?

YWNBU. Maybe next time she won't be so silly.

Don't be ridiculous he is 6 years old any situation could arise if he went to the toilet himself and no I am not talking about the paedo round the corner either. There is nothing wrong with a mum taking her 6yrold son to the womens toilet. Least at school he knows the toilet lay out.

I see know problem with taking a little boy into the ladies, obviously he can't go into the men's on his own.
But you were very rude.

You rather lost me with your 'girls are silly remarks' - I hope you're not teaching that kind of sexist crap to your DS. Girls questioning the presence of boys is not silly - it is fine, and you can politely give them an answer that will satisfy them.

The girls and their mother didn't know how old your son is. Also you don;t know how these girls have been spoken to about toilets and other single sex areas. They may have been taught that there are places for girls for personal things like going to the toilet, where boys are not allowed. They may not have been given the proviso 'Except very little boys who are with their Mum' and children don't necessarily see other children as 'little' because they are little themselves.

I think it is actually important that girls learnt hey have a right to safe places for perosnal things, and the little girl had every right to speak up. Her Mum could have explained it better to her and so could you. there was no need for anyone to be rude.
All that you have taught the little girl is that if they voice any concerns they will receive abuse in return and be called silly (or their mum called silly).

The sensible answer would have been 'He's too little to go into the men's toilets on his own, so I've brought him into the ladies today - it is allowed for little boys who are with their Mums.'
End of convo.

It was a supermarket, not Hampstead Heath, none the less a lovely bit of covert 'every bloke is a gay paedo' inference

this was a family pub

Also, with your “not Hampstead Heath” comment you appear to be inferring that people there are “gay paedos” which makes your comment pretty ridiculous no?

Paedophiles are paedophiles, and I wouldn’t have sent my 6 yo son into the gents alone at that age.

'no' problem