To have said this?

[MrsHappyAndMrCool]

So me and DS6 went to do a food shop this morning, he needed to go to the toilet so I took him into the ladies.

There was a lady in there with 3 girls, there was a little bit of silliness towards my son going on amongst the three girls whilst we waited for a cubicle to become free, which I ignored because I know girls can be very silly when it comes to things like this.

Then the biggest girl said “Mum why is there boy in here” very loudly, the mother then turnt to me and said “Couldn’t you have taken him into mother and baby or round the back of somewhere because he is making my daughters feel uncomfortable”

I am usually very good at ignoring people, I replied by saying “don’t be so pathetic you silly silly woman” a few more words were exchanged then I went on to tell her to stop embarrassing herself.

I feel a bit bad now, was IBU?

She was being daft. You name called.

CircleofWillis - I did not argue with her, I spoke to her in a normal tone, I would have probably have ignored her the same way I ignored the little girls, if she didn’t say to take him around the back of somewhere, that was the huge disrespect.

@givenchycallsmyname

Yabu for bringing your son into a toilet for the opposite sex

How ridiculous. The child is six. I wouldn't let a six-year-old out of my sight, neither would most parents.

JacquesHammer

I’m sorry - I thought it was aimed at the OP.

What is the usual age for people to let their sons go to the men’s on their own?

Can you imagine if 3 boys were being silly at a 6 year old girl in the toilets with her dad and then a grown man had said he should of taken her round the back of someone to go as she was making his sons uncomfortable? Double standards on mn as usual

My answer would have been exactly the same. Not unreasonable to use the facility with the adult. Unreasonable to be rude when a simple exaplanation would easily suffice.

It was a rude question for the girls to be asking ... unless their own father never took them out alone as young girls and didn't have to deal with toilet situations. Unlikely. And 'family' toilets are few and far between in many places and not always available even when they exist.

Your response wasn't ideal but YWNBU to say something. She was confrontational and rude and made your son feel bad for needing to use the toilet. There is NOTHING wrong with taking younger boys into female toilets! They are not sexualized or 'invading a female space.' Essentially, this woman sounds as though she felt embarrassed about her daughters' behaviour but instead of curbing their silliness or asking them to mind their manners towards your son, she tried to deflect blame outwards to you and your son as the cause of their behaviour. She was an idiot. However, I agree with others that you were wrong to call her a 'silly woman' in front of her children and yours.

Yabu for bringing your son into a toilet for the opposite sex

Where do you suggest she took him then?

Disabled toilets: No
Mother and baby room: No
Men’s: No

Where else is there?

Mother and baby room: No

This one I don’t understand. I genuinely think there should be a shift in making this space usable as a family. I’m surprised they’re not more prevalent.

Don’t be disingenuous. It isn’t inreasonable to expect there only to be girls in a girls toilet at any age

At any age. What about newborn or a 1,2,3,4, year old?

Are mothers supposed to park their prams outside when they need the loo?

Some of these comments are utterly ridiculous.

I think I too would have called her a Silly silly woman and worse.

givenchycallsmyname

Can you please explain WHY was I was being unreasonable for taking him in there? Where else was I suppose to take him?

Also, there is huge double standards regarding toilets. If a woman used a man's toilet because she couldn't be arsed waiting in line, people would think that was fine. If the roles were reversed, the man would be branded a pervert.

YABU simply for the 'silly girls' comment. FFS.

Unreasonable to be rude when a simple exaplanation would easily suffice.

Well seeing as the woman thought it would be ok for the boy to go round the back of somewhere, I don’t think there would have even been any point in giving an explanation never mind and nice polite one. She wouldn’t have given a shit the boy is only 6 because her solution was go round the back of somewhere.

@MrsHappyAndMrCool there is a mother and child toilet, instead of him being railroaded into using a woman's toilet, it is a woman's__ toilet for a reason.

If a woman used a man's toilet because she couldn't be arsed waiting in line, people would think that was fine. If the roles were reversed, the man would be branded a pervert

Firstly MN isn’t a hive mind. There’s many different opinions

That said no, I don’t have double standards. There was a post recently from a women who used the gents and I think she was unreasonable.

I don’t have an issue with a small child using the loo with their parents. I just couldn’t be bothered to be as combatitive as a number of posters seem to be over a situation which is sorted very easily.

@JacquesHammer I didn't mean on mn, I meant in general society.

This one I don’t understand. I genuinely think there should be a shift in making this space usable as a family. I’m surprised they’re not more prevalent.

Well yes that would be nice but they need to make more of them then. A baby who needs their nappy changing is a bigger priority than me and my 7 year old who can use a different toilet. As it stands I would never think of using the mother and baby toilet in the same way I would never think of using the disabled toilet.

there is a mother and child toilet, instead of him being railroaded into using a woman's toilet, it is a woman's__ toilet for a reason.

RIght, so should those girls not have been in the woman's toilet then. Because they are girls, not women.

So the mother of three girls should have been in the mother and child toilet with her girls.

Or maybe we should stop being dicks about parents needing to accompany small children to the toilet of the parent's sex?

@nohopemate female toilet then.🙄

Meh. Probably the heat got to your head! TBH it is insulting to tell someone to get their kid to piss up a wall etc. I'd have probably flipped too...she sounds like a silly cow.

YWNBU. You're a parent managing a young child, and needs must.
He's going in a cubicle. He's not seeing anything inappropriate, and nor are they.
Exactly. She was the one being unreasonable. Don't feel bad about reacting the way you did.

You not being unreasonable. With out sounding like an 11 year old. She started it. However you actually used those words. You silly silly women. . im with Thyme. thats hilarious. I'd have laughed in your face.
I thought that sort of dialogue was only used in the likes of Mr men stories .

YWDNBU Good for you OP , what a pathetic woman!

I don't think you were being unreasonable. Six is still young and if my daughter would have made a comment, I would have pulled her up on it. She wouldn't be at risk from your son, both parents accompanying both children. A non-issue. The rudeness of the woman not so much.

I quite like 'Silly, silly, woman/man', it's quite gentle really. I've been known to suggest somebody was a 'foolish individual'. It's a lot politer than it could have been anyway.