To have said this?

[MrsHappyAndMrCool]

So me and DS6 went to do a food shop this morning, he needed to go to the toilet so I took him into the ladies.

There was a lady in there with 3 girls, there was a little bit of silliness towards my son going on amongst the three girls whilst we waited for a cubicle to become free, which I ignored because I know girls can be very silly when it comes to things like this.

Then the biggest girl said “Mum why is there boy in here” very loudly, the mother then turnt to me and said “Couldn’t you have taken him into mother and baby or round the back of somewhere because he is making my daughters feel uncomfortable”

I am usually very good at ignoring people, I replied by saying “don’t be so pathetic you silly silly woman” a few more words were exchanged then I went on to tell her to stop embarrassing herself.

I feel a bit bad now, was IBU?

YABU for bringing your son into a toilet for the opposite sex

He's 6! I let DS 6 go into the men's toilets in some places: the Sainsbury's café, McDonald's, but I don't in busy pubs. If the OP was uncomfortable letting her DS go into the ladies', what do you suggest she should have done?

I suggest that if she takes a boy into a girls toilet she should expect the girls in there to ask why is there a boy here. It is a perfectly reasonable question. A question asked by children. Both adults in this situation were rude. The girls on the other hand asked a question which they were perfectly entitled to ask.

Typical female privilege. Boys referred to like dogs who can 'go round the back of somewhere'. Unlike the men's toilets, there is zero chance of a young boy seeing anything inappropriate in a women's toilet.

Typical female privilege

Oh yeah, the world is positively saturated with it.

Wind DS manages to go to toilet on his own, but until about last year, particularly in the evening, I couldn't let him. He has behavioral issues used to leave public toilets in a right mess, pulling all the paper off the roll, throwing the loo brush around, splashing water everywhere. He's fine now.

At six years old - an infant, it would be unreasonable to assume he could be sent into the male toilets. What is more had he got lost/something happened the parent would be asked why they were so irresponsible.

Until ahe said round the back of somewhere you ywb rude. However when she said this it was actually ride and then ywnbu. Your son is not a dog

You held your tongue in my opinion! Anyone was slagging my son off and I would have reacted a lot worse. ‘Round the back’ indeed. Those girls sound like they are going to grow up to be mean girls with a mother who just allows them to make others feel small.

Good for you! She'll think twice before saying it to someone else. You were entitled to be rude as she was very rude to suggest your son is too old to be in the ladies.

I would have said something similar (or something more cutting/sarcastic it i was in a bad mood!) If I was with friends I would have toned it down a bit eg 'oh don't be so silly!' With much laughter at her stupidity.

I do think the girl's question was a reasonable one. Children are very black and white. It's the ladies' loos, why's there a boy in here? The answer should have been, because he's too little to manage in a public toilet by himself.

I've had over the years:

"Why's DS2 in his pyjamas?" "Because he's a baby and I can get him dressed after the school run."

"Why's DD wearing that jumper instead of uniform?" "Because she's off sick."

Perfectly reasonable questions.

I actually have no problem with the girl asking the question, but it’s the way her mum (an adult) acted in response to it. Just because she asked her mum, it doesn’t automatically mean she was uncomfortable. She just probably hasn’t seen a boy in the female toilets before, so at that point her mum needed to tell her that he was too little to be on his own. End of story, carry on with day.

Her mum is the one that proceeded to project her own feminist views on to two small children. It’s pathetic.

I have to say the anti-trans movement has seen such an increase in hysteria about toilets that never existed before. Little boys have always accompanied their mothers into the ladies toilets. Girls and women have always managed fine without resorting to such ridiculous hysteria over it. Now there seem to be groups of over privilidged middle class mums netter types that have nothing better to do than get hysterical over it.

If this bothers you you need to get over yourself pure and simple. If you're doing something in the sink area of a toilet that a 6 year old boy can't see you're a wierdo and need to sort yourself out. If you're threatened by the presence of a 6 year old boy while you wash your hand you should seek counselling immediately and definitely not blame the 6 year old boy for your psychological issues.

How were the girls being “silly”

What exactly did they do?

They were pointing and giggling at my child, very silly little girls, probably got that behaviour from their mother.

Sounds like they were very threatened by him being in there.

The answer should have been, because he's too little to manage in a public toilet by himself

I shouldn’t of had to explain to them why my child was in the ladies toilets, my son is 6.

Sounds like they were very threatened by him being in there

Not threatened at all, just very silly little girls, this is the first time that there’s been a problem.

How old were the girls?

Not threatened at all, just very silly little girls, this is the first time that there’s been a problem.

Exactly, because there was nothing to be threatened by. Their mum was being hysterical for absolutely nothing and unfortunately it will probably rub off on to them in time.

Hydde - The eldest girl was about 10/11 and the other two were maybe 6/9. I could be wrong though.

Well you were a bit rude, but "take him round the back" is something that would cause a reaction in a fair few people. Personally I think 6 is ok for using the ladies. Just try and say something non-inflammatory if there is a next time. I sometimes go for "I'm sorry you feel that way" but continue doing whatever it is... after all the problem was hers not yours.

The eldest girl was about 10/11 and the other two were maybe 6/9. I could be wrong though.

Oh, how ludicrous.

At the age of ten or eleven a child is perfectly capable of understanding why a six (or four, from their viewpoint) year old boy would be in the toilet.

Perhaps, with a stretch, the six year old was genuinely confused. At which point most mothers would simply say, "he's with his mummy, he's a bit little to go on his own!" or something similar.

Unfortunately, I think they're all learning arrogance and silliness from their rude mother.

I wouldn’t take my 6yo DS into a ladies. They are able to go themselves at that age surely, what does he do at school.

Schools have lower washbasins and hand drying facilities

Also schools don't have random men using the facilities
How can you compare the two

Sounds like they were very threatened by him being in there.

Then their mother should help them deal with the issues they have around males. If the presents of a 6 year old boy a queue is so threatening for them they clearly have some very deep seated issues that should be addressed.