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AIBU?

to choose the same baby name as my sister?

291 replies

jane2019 · 29/06/2018 16:07

DH and I first discussed baby names about 12 years ago when kids were still a long way off for us and we decided on a boys name we liked then and we decided a girls name about 6 years ago. These obviously weren't set in stone and we never told anyone else what the names were.
2 years ago my sister had her 2nd son and named him Benjamin but he is always referred to as/ called Benji. Benjamin was going to be our name for a boy. My sister didn't know this and I didn't tell her this after she had him either but I did mention it to my mum when she told me he'd been born and the chosen name.
I am now pregnant and it's a boy and there is literally not one other name I can find that I like for boys, nevermind one that my DH would also like. DH has one other name he likes but I don't like it. It's quite unusual and I tend to prefer old-fashioned, traditional names. I have read websites full of lists of names and still there is nothing I can find!
Since Benji is Benji how unreasonable do you think it is to call my son Benjamin?
I see my sister and her family about 5 times a year but we are quite close and keep in touch regularly via social media along with our other sister and brother.
I don't think she'd be thrilled about me choosing the same name as her but I don't know if it would bother her that much especially if we call him Benjamin and never Benji.
It is not a particularly unusual or unpopular name, always in the top 50, so I wouldn't be bothered if a friend also used it but with it being my sister's child's name I do feel a bit like I am overstepping the line.

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happytobemrsg · 29/06/2018 16:09

Sorry I wouldn't do it.

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Merryoldgoat · 29/06/2018 16:09

Sorry but I think you should find a different name. They’ll be in the same family, similar ages, it’s just unnecessarily confusing.

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ichifanny · 29/06/2018 16:10

I’d do it with anyone else but not my sibling with the same grandparents

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JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 29/06/2018 16:11

I would do it. Yours can be Ben instead.

DH and I loved Harriet but DSis2 confided she wanted to use it for a girl. After some thought we went ahead though and it is fine.

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WilsonPhillips · 29/06/2018 16:11

Personally no, I wouldn't use it. There are thousands of names to choose from, I'm sure you'll find another name you like. I found finding a boys name for my son quite difficult so I named him after my grandad in the end. Maybe you could pick a family name that you like?

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KirstenRaymonde · 29/06/2018 16:12

I really wouldn’t. It’ll be confusing and it will seem like copying even if you thought of it first. You will find another name you both like, there are many.

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bluemascara · 29/06/2018 16:12

I'm afraid yabu
The only exception to this would be if the babies were being named after a relative who had died. I have 2 cousins both called after our grandma... but if it's just a regular name then I'd set about finding another

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Strongmummy · 29/06/2018 16:13

I think you should discuss this with your sister. If there’s a chance it would upset her, then find another name. There are 10000s out there, you would surely like one other

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ReadytoTalk · 29/06/2018 16:14

Don't be so bloody ridiculous. There are literally thousands of names out there. Pick another one.

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TwoGinScentedTears · 29/06/2018 16:14

I wouldn't either. What about Benedict?

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Mosaic123 · 29/06/2018 16:15

You should ask her. She might even be pleased?

In some sections of the Jewish religion it is a good thing to name a child after someone who has died.

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PotteringAlong · 29/06/2018 16:15

You can’t seriously think this is a good idea? No. Just no.

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Baubletrouble43 · 29/06/2018 16:15

One of my twins has the same name minus the a of my cousins daughter ( think Sophia/ sophie , very similar) which troubled me at first but cousins daughter is 17 years older and we never see each other ( different countries) though are friends on fb. You sound a bit closer so not sure it would work tbh.

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Snipples · 29/06/2018 16:16

No I wouldn't do it tbh. There are so many names out there, you should find another.

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Morgan12 · 29/06/2018 16:16

Definitely not.

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ourkidmolly · 29/06/2018 16:16

Honestly. Pregnancy must be affecting your judgement. Of course not. How silly. Just find another name.

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juneau · 29/06/2018 16:16

No, I wouldn't use the same name as my DSis, however long I had wanted to use that name. Whatever justifications you have no-one is going to care - they're all just going to think you're an arse - sorry! Keep searching and choose something else. There are thousands upon thousands of names out there, so you'll find something you like.

As an aside, my older DB had a DD first and called her the name my younger DB had apparently ALWAYS wanted to use. When he had a DD several years later he and and his wife used the Spanish version of that name (which is fairly common here and everyone knows it). Problem solved. Be gracious and choose something else.

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villainousbroodmare · 29/06/2018 16:16

No, no.

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Laiste · 29/06/2018 16:18

I wouldn't. Sorry.

I know from your point of view it's rough and your own thought process can make it sound ok, but for literally everyone else i think you'll look a bit batty. Even if outwardly they nod and smile. Sorry again.

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LeighaJ · 29/06/2018 16:18

Benjamin is a common name that you've had your heart set on for over a decade.

I'd talk to your sister about it and explain the dilemma you're in.

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Laiste · 29/06/2018 16:18

Have it as a second name maybe?

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DextroDependant · 29/06/2018 16:18

My sister did it to me and I don't care a bit. First and middle name. A work colleague also used the same first and middle name. It obviously works well as a combo.

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harrietm87 · 29/06/2018 16:19

I think you should choose another name - there will be another you like - imagine if you were having twins, or a second son. It's ridiculous to say there is only one acceptable name and that's your 2 year old nephew's.

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Footballmumofthefuture · 29/06/2018 16:19

This is a tricky one. I'm unsure what I'd do.

When I was expecting my daughter, a close friend was also expecting hers.

I didn't think I could have anymore children and I already had boys. When my nan passed away her one wish was that my brother who was expecting a girl, named her after my nan. She has a very pretty, lovely name. But my brother never did.

In converstation my friend had said that was the name she was going to call her child if it was a girl. I didn't say anything because I never expected to be having a girl. Ever!

When I found out I told my friend that was the name I would choose and my reasons why. She wasn't happy. But I was honoring my nan, so I called my daughter that name anyway.

She ended up naming her child something different. I would have been happy to share the name regardless.

I guess you do what makes you happy!

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MrsJayy · 29/06/2018 16:20

I have cousins with the same name it is a family name but there is 20 years and loads of children difference I really think you should try and find another name,

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