to choose the same baby name as my sister?

[jane2019]

DH and I first discussed baby names about 12 years ago when kids were still a long way off for us and we decided on a boys name we liked then and we decided a girls name about 6 years ago. These obviously weren't set in stone and we never told anyone else what the names were.
2 years ago my sister had her 2nd son and named him Benjamin but he is always referred to as/ called Benji. Benjamin was going to be our name for a boy. My sister didn't know this and I didn't tell her this after she had him either but I did mention it to my mum when she told me he'd been born and the chosen name.
I am now pregnant and it's a boy and there is literally not one other name I can find that I like for boys, nevermind one that my DH would also like. DH has one other name he likes but I don't like it. It's quite unusual and I tend to prefer old-fashioned, traditional names. I have read websites full of lists of names and still there is nothing I can find!
Since Benji is Benji how unreasonable do you think it is to call my son Benjamin?
I see my sister and her family about 5 times a year but we are quite close and keep in touch regularly via social media along with our other sister and brother.
I don't think she'd be thrilled about me choosing the same name as her but I don't know if it would bother her that much especially if we call him Benjamin and never Benji.
It is not a particularly unusual or unpopular name, always in the top 50, so I wouldn't be bothered if a friend also used it but with it being my sister's child's name I do feel a bit like I am overstepping the line.

How about Benedict, instead?

No one has dibs on a name,she can’t reasonably ask you to not use it

I wouldn’t do it and I’m afraid I’d think you were a bit odd (and very unimaginative) if you did it. If it was a family name that held deep meaning to both you and your sister it would perhaps make more sense but otherwise, it’s a no from me.

I must be weird as I don’t think this would bother me. Talk to your sister I think.

There seems to be a lot of these threads around lately - has it become a thing?

Op i kindly say to you are I say to the others - don't be a dick.

It's unreasonable. They'll be both Ben when they're older.

I wouldn’t seek her permission or talking it over
Plenty families have cousins with same name

No I definitely wouldn’t. A name is an important part of someone’s identity and to have the same name in a close family would be confusing: besides which what if in the future both boys decided that want to be called Ben!!! I decided against the name Neive because my niece was called Eve, despite my husband loving the name for years we soon found another!!

I wouldn't but you only see her 5 times a year!! That's really not a a lot at all!! its not like yourl be seeing her Benji all the time. There are so many nicer names than Ben though as well so id keep looking!

There’s a million names out there! Pick another one.

I wouldn't do it but it has been done in my family, a cousin who lives overseas has the same name as my brother.

I've never actually met him as hes much older than me, but similar age to my brother, it didn't ever matter to us at all, but I think if he'd lived in the same country and there were family get togethers it might've been a bit more strange.

Make you have two so. You came the first Benjamin. Now what name do you call the second. That's the name you use!

I wouldn't do it.

There are 100s of boys names. I think you're being a bit ridiculous thinking you can't come up with another name ... what if you went on to have 3 boys yourself ... are you going to call them all Benjamin? i highly doubt it.

Her son won't be Benji forever. He'll be Ben from the moment he enters secondary school, if not before, as will yours.

You surely cannot be so unimaginative that you and your dh cannot find one other name you both like? It must be the hormones making you think that this name is the only one - in reality, it isn't and there are thousands out there.

It's totally a dogs name -trying to put you off- just don't do it

YABU

3 years difference between the boys, you will look like an idiot if you chose the same name.

If you were closer to your sister, that name would be associated with your nephew anyway, it's weird you can imagine your own baby with it.

I have a very similar name as a cousin (think Liz and Eliza) and it's been fine. That said, there really are hundreds of names you can choose instead, personally I'd feel this one has been spoiled for me and I'd find something new. I totally feel for you though - I had my names for my kids decided many years before they were born, and I'd have been gutted if a sibling had chosen them.

I wouldn't, I'm afraid. Not for first cousins.

No, don't do it.

When my nan passed away her one wish was that my brother who was expecting a girl, named her after my nan. She has a very pretty, lovely name. But my brother never did.

No offence but how selfish can you be to expect your grandchild to name his dd after them! No wonder he didn’t. Could you imagine the Aibu my dh is expecting time to name our dd after his nana after she made him promise on her death bed.

He’s Benji now but there’s every chance they’ll both be Ben when they’re older.

I really wouldn’t. I would find it quite a weird thing to do tbh.

Don't do it. My sister did this to me and it was just weird. My mum now has 2 grandkids with pretty much the same name.

Call him what you want to it's nobodys business .

Nope, you can’t.

There was a thread recently where the OP's sister had given her daughter the same name as the OP's and they were really upset.

I wouldn't do it, it's bloody weird. There are a million other names and you sound petulant and childish declaring that there's not another name in the world that you could ever settle on.