to choose the same baby name as my sister?

[jane2019]

DH and I first discussed baby names about 12 years ago when kids were still a long way off for us and we decided on a boys name we liked then and we decided a girls name about 6 years ago. These obviously weren't set in stone and we never told anyone else what the names were.
2 years ago my sister had her 2nd son and named him Benjamin but he is always referred to as/ called Benji. Benjamin was going to be our name for a boy. My sister didn't know this and I didn't tell her this after she had him either but I did mention it to my mum when she told me he'd been born and the chosen name.
I am now pregnant and it's a boy and there is literally not one other name I can find that I like for boys, nevermind one that my DH would also like. DH has one other name he likes but I don't like it. It's quite unusual and I tend to prefer old-fashioned, traditional names. I have read websites full of lists of names and still there is nothing I can find!
Since Benji is Benji how unreasonable do you think it is to call my son Benjamin?
I see my sister and her family about 5 times a year but we are quite close and keep in touch regularly via social media along with our other sister and brother.
I don't think she'd be thrilled about me choosing the same name as her but I don't know if it would bother her that much especially if we call him Benjamin and never Benji.
It is not a particularly unusual or unpopular name, always in the top 50, so I wouldn't be bothered if a friend also used it but with it being my sister's child's name I do feel a bit like I am overstepping the line.

My SIL and BIL used the boys name that I was always going to use, I had a son 2 years later and chose something different. 6 years on I love his name way more than my nephew's!

Agree with others that they will both become Ben. I really don't understand why people even think this is a viable option your setting your poor parents up for a lifetime of confusion over having 2 Grandsons at similar ages with the same name, they can't even explain it away when people ask about it as being a family name.

If you want to use it obviously she cannot stop you but please understand that everyone will think you are odd and don't come complaining when inevitably they refer to him as a nickname in future to differentiate between the 2 Bens.

Mosaic123

You should ask her. She might even be pleased?

In some sections of the Jewish religion it is a good thing to name a child after someone who has died.

Well yes, quite. Which is why it's absolutely taboo and never done to give the child the same name as a LIVING relative.

Please don’t, your poor sister...

Don't do that OP

Don't do it - your sister will be upset, everyone else will be baffled and you'll have spoilt a happy occasion.

A close friend gave her son, who was born a few months before mine, the name that at that time had been frontrunner if I were to have a boy. I did, and of course I called him something different, and it suits him much better than the original name would have. And our sons are lifelong friends and it's just as well, although I think they would have bonded still further over their shared name. I guess my point is that as soon as my friend named her son, I struck that name off the list, and can't imagine why you would do otherwise unless there were weighty reasons for using that name.

Where I'm from that's a really common thing to do. I have several cousins with the same name. It wouldn't be even a bit odd. I think in MN this is a big no no though. Speak to her. Maybe she wouldn't care. I wouldn't mind if my sister did this.

one db named his ds after our grandfather, another db used the same name as a middle name for his ds. Isn't Louis one of Prince George's middle names as well as the first name of the youngest child of William and Kate?

If you are dead set on it, use it as a middle name but unless its got a particular significance such as a dead relative, I would avoid it.

I was the first of my siblings to fall pregnant and had a boy. A year later, DB and his wife announced their pregnancy and he told me the name I used had been their favourite for years. They had a girl. Following year, I had DS2 and they were expecting DC2. Without knowing, I used the name they had decided on (cousins are 6 months apart, so I didn't even know SIL was pregnant at this time!) SIL was adamant they would still use the same name, but DB wouldn't have it. I honestly wouldn't have minded- but he took the view that there are thousands of other names to pick from, and they would pick a new one. It was only at Christmas he told me this, and the DC are now 9&7- poor SIL must have been gutted that it happened twice

I have a Benjamin who gets called Ben/Benny/Benji. I think I'd be a bit miffed if my sister called her baby Benjamin as well. Although your nephew gets called Benji now it will more then likely change to the above names as he gets older and also what happens if he chooses to go by his full name.

No, that's ridiculous. It'll cause confusion and maybe resentment! Use it as a second name if you must, but out of the hundreds of names available, there must be something you both like?

I am very close to my sisters and this wouldn't bother me at all. I really don't think it would bother them either in return. I'm expecting my first and my nieces and nephews would love it if I chose one of their names. I'm obviously in the minority tho!

YABVVVU if you do this. People will think you're bonkers and you'll upset your Diss and probably your parents too.

@jane2019

Yep do it. No-one owns a name, and no-one is entitled to tell anyone else that they cannot use a name. Plenty of families have multiple people with the same name.

Lots of people are precious about it on mumsnet though. Probably not the best place to ask. Pay no attention to the naysayers. Call your child what name you want.

PMSL at how some people act like you are ruining someone's life, and crushing their dreams by calling your kid the same name as theirs.

Precious much?

No that would be beyond ridiculous OP.

Even Benedict would be a bit crazy.

Just imagine that you are having twins, one will be called Benjamin so that's taken, now what will you call the other one?

I have a first cousin with the same name as me. She’s older by about 8 years. My immediate family call her ‘cousin Crikey’, assume her immediate family call me the same.

I am, however, one of 37 cousins so not really a surprise. There are 2 Roberts too but that’s a family name (I have 1 x brother, 1 x dad, 1 x cousin, 1 x grandad, 1 x nephew). They mostly go / went by different variations of the name.

Having said all this - probably choose something else if your family is quite small. But Benjamin is a fantastic name!

That’s 2 of us cousins are ‘Roberts’. I can do sums m, honest!

Are you serious? No of course you can't choose the same name as your sister.

PMSL at how some people act like you are ruining someone's life, and crushing their dreams by calling your kid the same name as theirs.

It's not that they are ruining their life its just wholly unoriginal. It will also cause unnecessary confusion and it is setting the poor child up to be considered second best. Not to mention given the age gap the Ops baby is also likely to be given second hand clothes and toy on top of a second hand name.

It might be ok in some situations where the name is a family one but I absolutely refuse to believe that out of all the names in the world the Op and her partner cannot possibly find another to give to their child.

As a soon-to-be grandparent I'd find it really weird to have 2 grandchildren with the same name. My DGM found it difficult enough to remember which child she was talking about when everyone had a different name!

You might call your DS Benjamin but chances are either he or his friends will call him Ben - or Benji.

My DH vetoed my favourite names for DC4 and DC5. We did actually manage to find new ones. There are so many names out there, there must be something else.

If your sister is ok with it, I guess it's fine, although personally I find it weird.

I hope if you have another baby it isn't a boy, since there's only one boys' name that you like out of the thousands and thousands of available names. Naming both of your boys Benjamin would be really weird.

We have a Benjamin in the extended family. He was Ben/Benji/Benj until about 9 and then very firmly NOT Benji anymore. Ben only. So its ridiculous to think that he'll be called by that pet name forever.