to choose the same baby name as my sister?

[jane2019]

DH and I first discussed baby names about 12 years ago when kids were still a long way off for us and we decided on a boys name we liked then and we decided a girls name about 6 years ago. These obviously weren't set in stone and we never told anyone else what the names were.
2 years ago my sister had her 2nd son and named him Benjamin but he is always referred to as/ called Benji. Benjamin was going to be our name for a boy. My sister didn't know this and I didn't tell her this after she had him either but I did mention it to my mum when she told me he'd been born and the chosen name.
I am now pregnant and it's a boy and there is literally not one other name I can find that I like for boys, nevermind one that my DH would also like. DH has one other name he likes but I don't like it. It's quite unusual and I tend to prefer old-fashioned, traditional names. I have read websites full of lists of names and still there is nothing I can find!
Since Benji is Benji how unreasonable do you think it is to call my son Benjamin?
I see my sister and her family about 5 times a year but we are quite close and keep in touch regularly via social media along with our other sister and brother.
I don't think she'd be thrilled about me choosing the same name as her but I don't know if it would bother her that much especially if we call him Benjamin and never Benji.
It is not a particularly unusual or unpopular name, always in the top 50, so I wouldn't be bothered if a friend also used it but with it being my sister's child's name I do feel a bit like I am overstepping the line.

Go ahead, but, if you do, your sister will never get over it.

I've not seen my cousins in years, we don't talk much or see each other much, last time was at my wedding 8 years ago!
No back story, just that cousins aren't that much of a close relation tbh.

If your sister is ok with it then it's a non issue.

Let us imagine you are expecting twin boys. You would have to find another one name at the very least that you could endure.

And that’s what you need to do now.

I'd ask your sister if she'd mind, but if she says no, find another name.

My husband's brother named their daughter the same name as ours, just a slight difference in the spelling. There's only 3yrs between them. No problems xxx

I think i would find it odd...but i wouldnt be offended at all

Er, has anyone suggested Balonz yet?

Some people are just too precious with names. If you’re close with your sister just tell her.

I told everyone what we were naming our boys. If you told her from the beginning that you wanted to call your future son Benjamin and then she decided to use it, at least you could use the argument (if any) that you were always going to if she kicks up a fuss, and stick to it. Unless it’s a made up name (god forbid) you can’t really steal it.

I wouldn't. There are thousands upon thousands of names you can use, unfortunately she got there first with this one.

Snowflake alert.

Call your baby what you want!

It's time we resurrected 70s and 80s names. Call him Brendan

I wouldnt do it. Swop the situation around, how would you feel if you had a Benji and sister call her son same name. Ben, Benjamin fine, but Benji sorry I can onky think of the movie dog Benji.

I love the name Jodie for a boy, but my husband doesn't 😣

What about
Brendan
Brett
Benedict
Benson
Brinton
or to rhyme with Ben
Ken... Kenneth Kenton Kenzie
Den... Dennis Denzil
Glenn
Jen... Jenson
Len... Lenard

No seriously don’t do that.

Itv you were my sister I would be furious. I was really upset when my cousin used the same (unusual) boys name id named my son. But a sibling? No.

there will always be someone on MN who comes along to say “nobody owns a name” blah, blah - but in real life it would be rude, weird and fucking obnoxious to name your kids the same as your sister.

There are millions of names for pity’s sake.

My DD has an unusual first name with a more common middle name (theory being if she doesn't like the unusual name when she's older she could use her middle name). My DB and his girlfriend had a baby a year later and named her my DD's middle name. They didn't run it past us. I asked my DB if he knew it was my DD's middle name. He did. Still find it weird 6 years later! I personally wouldn't use a name a close family member or close friend had already used for their DC, just feels a bit odd.

Oh my god this is so not a big deal. They are only cousins and it's a super common name. I'd check with her if you're worried but I don't see the problem here. I have cousins with the same name and nobody thought it was weird, nobody's life was ruined, nobody was confused, nobody thought they were second-best, nobody thought any of the weird excuses people have listed her for not doing it.

Do you like the name Benedict or would it have to be Benjamin?

It's beyond weird but should I have insisted she keep her maiden name or use a different surname to stop us being called the same... of course not. 🙄

Surely no one is this obtuse? You can’t compare the coincidence of two unrelated adult women who happen to have the same first name marrying brothers with actively choosing the same name your sibling has already used.

85 years ago my mum had a new baby sister who was called Beryl. 15+ years later Mum’s oldest brother got married to another Beryl. It was still confusing years later when I came along, but Mum always referred to them as “Our Beryl” OR “Charlie’s Beryl”. At least your 2 cousins would have slightly different names, so people will understand who you are referring to, but you still have time to find another name you like before your baby arrives to save any future problems. Also, My Dad had a brother called John who chose to call his own son by the same name. They were always known as Big John and Little John, which was a bit silly when Little John grew up to be taller than his Dad! There’s nowt so queer as folk, as they say! 🙄🙄

I think you need to find a different name, sorry. Grandparents will have 2 grandsons, 2 years apart, both called Benjamin? It will be weird for the children when they get a bit older aswell I would think. How will your son feel, that he is the second Benjamin?

Can't you just ask?