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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or is the school? Concerns about Teacher

158 replies

MagentaMarmaset40 · 29/06/2018 12:09

Hi there,

Made an account just to ask this question as I have some concerns with my DS school.

My DS is in year 8, and is by no means perfect - I know and acknowledge that. Recently his science teacher has had an operation and the school have got a temp teacher into replace her. I have some major concerns about this teacher.

Firstly, my friend is a parent governed and she told me that the new teacher isn’t registered with an agency or anything - so the school have no references for him. Apparently he is just a mate of the deputy head who knew him from a previous school? Am I right to be concerned that this could be putting kids at risk. My friend said they were told he left his last post due to a “personality clash” with his line manager, and is starting full time with a different school in September. From what I hear, his actual teaching is good, if a little old fashioned.

But I also think this teacher has an issue with my son. He’s given my son 3 detentions in 2 weeks, one for homework not being done which i accept; but the other two have been for things I don’t think warranted a DT. I’ve told my DS not to do the detentions and school have now put him in isolation.

I’m concerned because my son has decided he is gay, and very open about it; and I think that this teacher may be picking on him because of it.

WIBU to go and see the head about this teacher?

OP posts:
Ishouldntbesolucky · 29/06/2018 12:14

What were the detentions for? Tbh, if you want to speak to the school, it would have been far better if you'd done so BEFORE telling your son not to do to the detention. As it stands, your son has now (understandably) received a more severe punishment!

Amanduh · 29/06/2018 12:14

Your governor friend shouldnt be telling you any details about the teacher. It’s none of your business what his references are ffs. Why do you think he’s picking on him because he’s gay? Nothing you’ve mentioned suggests that, what were the other two dt’s for? Unless there’s a massive dripfeed coming.

PotteringAlong · 29/06/2018 12:17

So, instead of going through an agency and getting a complete unknown, the deputy head has got in touch with a former colleague who, by your own admission, is a good teacher, and asked him to cover? How on earth is this putting kids in danger?

What were the other 2 detentions for?

AlonsoTigerHeart · 29/06/2018 12:18

Yes why wouldnt tou of gone to the school before telling him to bunk off the detentiond?

Also Your friend ishould consider a refesher course in confidentiality and not shit stirring to parents

AlonsoTigerHeart · 29/06/2018 12:19

Tooooo many errors in that sorry

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 29/06/2018 12:20

School breaks up soon and your DS will not be taught by this person in Sept. Is it really worth kicking up a fuss for a very short term problem?

ScipioAfricanus · 29/06/2018 12:23

It’s not for you to decide whether your son should do detentions.

Unless you have any evidence there is no reason to assume the teacher has a problem with your son being gay, and far more likely it’s because he is ‘by no means perfect’.

Any school should have the teacher DSB checked. He may not be qualified as a teacher (this is now possible in state school thanks to academies etc) but he isn’t going to be a danger to them.

And I have got my last two jobs basically on the back of people who knew me, and knew I was a good bet as a teacher because of it. Someone who’s known me and worked with me for years knows me better than someone who has just interviewed me and seen a snapshot of my teaching.

SoddingUnicorns · 29/06/2018 12:23

What were the other two detentions for? Why didn’t you speak to the school first before telling him not to do them?

Also, I’d be very careful flinging accusations of homophobia without proof, that is a very strong allegation to make.

KittyVonCatsington · 29/06/2018 12:23

If this is all true, YABU.

Supply teachers do not have to come through an agency, in fact it saves the school a lot of money not doing that, which can benefit your DC. Plenty of supply teachers get work through word of mouth, applying directly or having used to work in a particular school. All that is necessary is that the supply teacher is DBS checked, which you haven't stated that they are not (references are not the same thing-especially if the Head already knows the teacher and heaven knows, getting a Science teacher in for a short term cover is like pulling hens teeth currently).

With regards to the detentions, you don't say why you don't agree with this but really, it isn't up to you to agree with them or not and you should not be telling your DS to not attend them. The teacher is following school policy which you have agreed to.

It sounds like you are underplaying your DS' behaviour and with the unprofessional gossiping you are doing with another parent governor (divulging confidential personal information is serious and I am surprised you are ok with this) and not backing up the school with their behaviour policy, you are in for some difficult future years with your DS.

Original poster
MagentaMarmaset40 · 29/06/2018 12:24

Don’t want to drip feed; one of the dts was for falling off his chair tho fgs!

And why shouldn’t I have a right to no that a bloke with no references is teaching my son? A “personality clash”. Could mean anything! Especially seeing as it looks like he left quickly without finding another job first?

OP posts:
IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece · 29/06/2018 12:25

You do know that if someone recognised you from this thread, your idiot friend will be up shit creek don’t you. She’s an absolute fool to be telling you this

And you can’t imagine that just telling him not to go to the detention would result in anything other then more punishment can you?!

ScipioAfricanus · 29/06/2018 12:26

Falling off his chair because he was messing about!

SoddingUnicorns · 29/06/2018 12:26

Fell of his chair? Or was dicking about in class and fell off his chair?

It sounds like you’re the one with the prejudice against this particular teacher OP, not the teacher prejudiced against your son!

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece · 29/06/2018 12:27

Although you’ve already decided this teacher is homophobic so you’ve clearly. Not got your head on right

AlonsoTigerHeart · 29/06/2018 12:27

Fell off his chair? Did he bollocksGrinGrinGrin

PotteringAlong · 29/06/2018 12:27

No secondary school child accidentally falls off their chair unless they’re pratting around...

ScipioAfricanus · 29/06/2018 12:27

99 times out of 100 a child falls off a chair because they are being an idiot or their friend is being an idiot (which normally means they are too).

Karigan198 · 29/06/2018 12:27

Challenge a detention by all means but don’t get your son to do it by just not turning up. You should do it properly and through the correct channels. It was a bit stupid to leave it to your kid to do and resulted in the only result that was ever going to happen by just not doing them. What did you expect? Your son to get a reward for not doing the detention he was told to do?

Sleepyandtired21 · 29/06/2018 12:28

I think it is a very bad idea to think this has anything to do with your son’s sexuality. Ignoring that and reading the rest of the post, it sounds like your son is mucking around a lot and maybe it has escalated so much that stuff that wouldn’t get other children a detention is now being treated more seriously to nip it in the bud?

Sparklesocks · 29/06/2018 12:28

How did he fall off his chair though, was he messing around? Pushing back on it? What was the other one for?

I don’t think it was your place to say he should skip detention - you should’ve addressed it with the school then rather then just let him miss them.

EduCated · 29/06/2018 12:30

How did he fall off his chair? Genuine accident, or was he messing about and swinging on it?

References aren’t exactly failsafe. Is he qualified? Does he have a DBS check? Those, to me, are more important (though still not watertight). What would a reference which simply confirmed where he worked and when tell you?

TheFifthKey · 29/06/2018 12:30

Oh yes, falling off your chair, that everyday occurrence that often happens when you’re sitting still at a desk working through a task and concentrating...

SalsaLala · 29/06/2018 12:31

YABVU. As someone who at one time oversaw supply teachers in my department and dealt with a number of shocking ones, anyone a colleague recommended and could vouch for would be snapped up! You’ve said yourself that he is a decent teacher. His personality clash with a former line manager makes it seem as though it wasn’t an issue with the children, and the fact that he has a job from September must mean his references are fine. And he’s DBS checked so I’m not entirely sure what risk you imagine he could pose!

As for the detentions, advising your son not to do them was a bit daft. I’ve given a detention for a student ‘falling off a chair’ before, I think the question you need to ask your son is probably “what were you doing that caused you to fall off the chair?”

Nofunkingworriesmate · 29/06/2018 12:31

If this is in the UK then all proper checks will have been made by law regarding his DBS checks

Falling off a chair IS a legitimate reason for detention he was probably being told to sit properly all lesson

support the school

LIZS · 29/06/2018 12:32

Your "friend" is being very indiscreet and compromising their position by discussing the teacher's background with you. Kids often play up for new or short term teachers, was he messing about before he fell or copying others? Perhaps a detention draws the line. By all means speak to head or a senior deputy but they are unlikely to disclose more than you need to know .