AIBU or is the school? Concerns about Teacher

[MagentaMarmaset40]

Hi there,

Made an account just to ask this question as I have some concerns with my DS school.

My DS is in year 8, and is by no means perfect - I know and acknowledge that. Recently his science teacher has had an operation and the school have got a temp teacher into replace her. I have some major concerns about this teacher.

Firstly, my friend is a parent governed and she told me that the new teacher isn’t registered with an agency or anything - so the school have no references for him. Apparently he is just a mate of the deputy head who knew him from a previous school? Am I right to be concerned that this could be putting kids at risk. My friend said they were told he left his last post due to a “personality clash” with his line manager, and is starting full time with a different school in September. From what I hear, his actual teaching is good, if a little old fashioned.

But I also think this teacher has an issue with my son. He’s given my son 3 detentions in 2 weeks, one for homework not being done which i accept; but the other two have been for things I don’t think warranted a DT. I’ve told my DS not to do the detentions and school have now put him in isolation.

I’m concerned because my son has decided he is gay, and very open about it; and I think that this teacher may be picking on him because of it.

WIBU to go and see the head about this teacher?

What strong message exactly ? That both parent and child think they deserve special treatment ?

Yeah how is that going to work once they do something stupid that could get them fired or in trouble with the law mummy and daddy wont be able to bail them out of consequences of THERE own actions.

there's rarely any point in speaking to teachers though, they rarely back down even if they're clearly in the wrong.
I must have missed that memo.
Today I told Charlie to stop talking and get on but it was actually Paul. Charlie said 'Mrs Pops I actually haven't said a word' and Paul said 'to be fair, it was me, sorry' and all was resolved.

Dear me, it must be so difficult for me dealing largely with reasonable students and reasonable parents in a reasonable manner on a daily basis... oh wait, the vast majority are the reason i love my job. Never mind.

Withdrawing her son from detention was a good move and sent out a strong message.

Given the OP's on here complaining the school have put him in isolation for missing the detentions, I think they might have missed the strong message. What was it supposed to be?

I think they got the strong message, just not the one OP intended. The one they actually got was that parents can be tears!

Twats! Not tears

Stirner

I don't back down if I don't think I am wrong. That isn't the same as not backing down if I realise I am wrong. In this case, I can't think why the teacher would be 'wrong' rather than the parent, since he was there and the parent wasn't.

So your son didn’t do his homework, was dicking about on his chair and you told him not to do his detention....

And you think the issue is the teacher?! You may want to look a bit closer to home if you don’t want to raise a self entitled little prick.

You may want to look a bit closer to home if you don’t want to raise a self entitled little prick this!! Couldn't have put it better myself

@Stirner OP hasn't said anything that even remotely hints at homophobia.
The two examples she gave are actually detention worthy.
She didn't even attempt to discuss any of this with the school or the teacher,just took it upon herself to tell her DS not to do detention.
Her whole outrage is based on gossip and unfounded assumptions.

"Decided he is gay"? Quite uncomfortable with that choice of language, it's not something you decide, I think my gay sister would be a bit offended if someone said that about her.

My DP left his last teaching job due to a clash with his HT who expected him to teach the other non physics specialists science teachers A level physics in his ‘spare’ time after work. He had no job to go to, and did a few month’s supply at a school where a former colleague worked before getting another job on higher pay with less responsibility. Not all personality clashes are worrying. Some HTs will keep adding pressure to teachers because getting suitably qualified teachers in shortage subjects, especially in schools with challenging pupils enabled by their parents is impossible!

You may want to look a bit closer to home if you don’t want to raise a self entitled little prick.

Fast forward a while...
By Y11 (after dicking around and being told by Mummy not to do detentions), Mum turns up at parents' evening or calls up after the mock exams furious about the teachers who have said their child has a poor attitude ti learning and needs to work harder. Mum decides that it's not her precious child. Obviously, loads of the teachers haven't bothered to teach the course properly, haven't explained things, never offer help and target their DC over nothing.
Mum will want to know what intervention will be put in place to support her DC achieving their potential with 12 weeks to go.

Exactly MaisyPops!

@MaisyPops what? No Ofsted complain threat?

@Pengggwn - "In this case, I can't think why the teacher would be 'wrong' rather than the parent, since he was there and the parent wasn't." You've just proved my point.

Sceimce teacher having operation so supply teacher friend of dh brought in.

That is VERY identifiable op. Not good when youve said the female governor friend of a parent has behaved completely unprofessionally.

Id have the thread removed.

What makes you think the teacher is picking on your son because he's gay?

Could it not be that this particular teacher doesn't put up with any shit? Eg not doing homework? Messing about on chairs? You didn't mention what the third detention was for?

Honestly if my son was given 3 detentions I'd be mortified and not only would he be doing them, there would be consequences at home if I didn't think he was suitably sorry for his actions.

Withdrawing her son from detention was a good move and sent out a strong message.

Yes, that Mummy's Ickle Preshus is doing a fantastic job pulling the wool over her eyes. It's not a strong message, she'll be laughed at/despaired over instead.

I'd have the thread removed
The OP will probably ask MNHQ to remove it because she doesn't like the replies.

rebelrogue
Naaah, too soon. First comes the 10 MN threads about how DC's English/Maths/Science/Tutor etc are all picking on DC for no reason. There'll be lots of sensible advice mixed with hilariously awful advice of report the tutor to the head or the LADO. It's basically a safeguarding issue to expect your DC to sit on a chair and work. Your child only argued back because you've brought them up well to challenge authority. Teacher worshipers will be here telling you to bow down and be subservient but ignore them. They're just intimidated by children who won't be bullied into submission. Demand a meeting with the head hun

The ofsted threat comes after the school have pointed out they are prioritising intervention on students who NEED the extra help (and like most students managed to not act like an entitled dickhead, not kids who've hindered other students' learning).

Stirner

What point?

You've just proved my point.

What point? Are you saying all parents are right and all teachers are wrong then, Sirner?

Surely not. Surely some parents are right and some teachers are right and it is sensible to investigate situations according to the context and circumstance? You seem to be doing exactly what you are accusing others of doing.

I think you've also missed the thread where the teacher stops giving detention to kids dicking about and causing low level disruption because it's too much hassle and the OP's son blames the rest of the class and for his poor grades because he can't learn properly.