AIBU or is the school? Concerns about Teacher

[MagentaMarmaset40]

Hi there,

Made an account just to ask this question as I have some concerns with my DS school.

My DS is in year 8, and is by no means perfect - I know and acknowledge that. Recently his science teacher has had an operation and the school have got a temp teacher into replace her. I have some major concerns about this teacher.

Firstly, my friend is a parent governed and she told me that the new teacher isn’t registered with an agency or anything - so the school have no references for him. Apparently he is just a mate of the deputy head who knew him from a previous school? Am I right to be concerned that this could be putting kids at risk. My friend said they were told he left his last post due to a “personality clash” with his line manager, and is starting full time with a different school in September. From what I hear, his actual teaching is good, if a little old fashioned.

But I also think this teacher has an issue with my son. He’s given my son 3 detentions in 2 weeks, one for homework not being done which i accept; but the other two have been for things I don’t think warranted a DT. I’ve told my DS not to do the detentions and school have now put him in isolation.

I’m concerned because my son has decided he is gay, and very open about it; and I think that this teacher may be picking on him because of it.

WIBU to go and see the head about this teacher?

Your friend shouldn't be gossiping about this teacher.
You don't fall off a chair without twatting about. He got the DT for messing about.
You don't get to choose what detentions he does. FFS.
What was the other DT for? I guarantee it had nothing to do with being gay. And everything to do with lack of HW, behaviour and attitude. Maybe focus on that.

What would a reference change with this situation, OP? Most are pretty generic anyway and you have already said that they are a good teacher. It's a DBS check that you should be concerned about.

And you don't have a right to know the employment routes of the staff at your DS' school. As this thread shows, small snippets of incomplete 'information' can in fact be very damaging. 'No references' is never the full story and 'Just falling off a chair' is never the full story. Your DS is pulling the wool over your very willing eyes....

Falling off a chair isn't something that happens unless the faller is arsing around though, is it? It's not like kids who are just quietly getting on with their work just spontaneously fall off their chairs.

I think you should have spoken to the school before telling your son not to do the detentions. If you had legitimate concerns you should have raised them. I think you're in danger of teaching your son that the rules don't apply to him, and that's not a great idea.

How much of term is left? If this teacher has somewhere new to go in September is it worth making a fuss now?

Don’t want to drip feed; one of the dts was for falling off his chair tho fgs!

Yeah, right. I'm a teacher and any teacher knows what this means. No normal healthy teenage boy just suddenly falls off a chair through no fault of their own. What they do is mess about and act the clown in class, leaning back at as much of an angle as the can or generally goofing around. Then they fall off, encouraging half their classmates to laugh at them. It's for everyone's good to put a stop to this kind of idiocy so some learning can take place.

If you want your son to do well in his future exams (which I'm assuming you do as you are clearly articulate and involved enough to post on here), you need to start supporting the school instead of telling your son not to do detentions.

You don't know the teacher has "no references". I got two of my jobs by knowing the head or head of department from previous posts. I am still a qualified teacher and still had the DBS check.

Your friend is totally unsuitable to be a parent governor. I've been one of those too and confidentiality is paramount. She should lose her post.

How many 12-13 year olds genuinely fall off chairs for any other reason than messing about?

Going back to my school days "falling off a chair" almost always involved arsing around. Quite often rocking back and forth on the chair until it either tipped backwards or the legs broke and the chair collapsed.
As your son were all 4 legs on the chair in contact with the ground when he fell off and was he sitting in a normal fashion paying attention to the teacher?
I sit on a chair all day and I haven't fallen off yet (in 20+ years)

Ask not As

Deputy Head knew him from a previous school - and so has at least verbally given a reference! Getting a Science specialist to teach science is a pretty rare feat in some schools, especially to cover a short term absence until the end of term. Sounds like you are making a fuss about nothing and getting your DS in trouble with the school as well.

Agree with others, it sounds like your son might have been pricking around in the lesson. Either way you need to support the school in front of your son, telling him not to turn up just teaches him that he doesn't need to respect them and there are no consequences for his actions. I can't see a link between the DT and his sexual orientation unless you left something out?

As pp have said, falling off one's chair in year 8 is generally down to something behavioural.

Your son will have downplayed his rôle in all this - I remember taking a phone call from an incensed parent because I had put their son in detention for farting. He had failed to mention that he had got on top of his desk, aimed his arse at the ceiling, let rip and announced "How about that then?"

one of the dts was for falling off his chair tho fgs!

Ah yes, that old chestnut.
Obviously, this governor shouldn't have told you any of this, but it isn't in any way bad anyway. Do you know how difficult it is to get short term specialist teachers at short notice who are actually qualified to do the job? If a teacher comes from a supply agency, the school has to pay an extra fee to the agency so they are usually more expensive too. Sounds like there is nothing to see here.

Unless your child has a medical reason to have fallen from his chair - a seizure for eg then he wasn’t sitting still in his chair getting on with his work was he?

Wake up, your son is a PITA and you’re enabling him. Get your sad face ready, the daily mail will be calling in the b dr year or so

If you sit still at a desk how is it possible to fall off your chair? I'm the most accident person going, but I've never fallen off my chair at work...

Kids messing around in class - larking about and being disruptive - that's when they start falling off chairs. It sounds like your son was very disruptive. It's really not fair on the rest of the class.

Apart from the fact that it's none of your business, the fact that the teacher has already got another job to go to in September tells you everything you need to know, surely? It means he's recently been interviewed by another school, they would have checked references, done the dbs check etc -_so surely that's all fine?

Whereas a teacher may be with an agency because they can't get a job anywhere else... Not the only reason, I know, but it could mean that. This teacher seems in demand and therefore why would you worry?

You are teaching your son that it's ok for him to misbehave and that he doesn't have to listen to his teacher. No wonder he's getting detentions left right and centre.

Your friend has committed a major breach in discussing this with you, and should be immediately removed from the governing body.

kaitlinktm and I thought I'd seen it all

YABVU. Actually I think falling off the chair is worse than not doing the work, as not doing work impacts on your son and his results, falling off the chair disrupts the class. Detention well deserved. You should be ashamed of yourself, and him.

Givenor shouldn't have told you
You have no idea what happened before
Teacher can chose schools as theee a national shortage
Your son didn't 'just' fall off a chair he was mucking about and no doubt rude aa well

Grow up and speak to you son about his behaviour, before you soil a teachers reuptation

Lol. Sorry OP nobody buying that

This man will have DBS checks just like any other teacher - the fact that he isn't with an agency doesn't mean he's not subject to the law.
An agency teacher is likely to be some randomer who doesn't necessarily have any qualifications, or who has never taught science - agencies send whoever is available regardless of their experience and references really don't have much to do with it - I became a supply teacher having come from a very different system in Ireland with no references whatsoever apart from my teaching qualification.

It is totally reasonable to give a year 8 student a detention for 'falling off his chair' - as others have said, unless the chair was faulty your son fell off because he was mucking around and disrupting the class.

If you continue to question the authority of your son's teachers based on no information at all, fantasise about them being homophobic based on nothing, and allow your son to skip out on punishments for no reason, then you are going to head down the road of making life very very hard for your son. The world won't care that he had some good explanation for why he 'fell off his chair' - all it'll see is an entitled brat whose mother colluded in his idea that he could get away with acting like an idiot because someone might not like him.

Get your act together.

musicposy It actually was hilarious and I did have a good laugh about it - in the staff room afterwards.

Sadly or not I experiences several similar fart-related incidents over my 25+ years in secondary - all involving boys not surprisingly.

experienced - doh!

Spaghetti has said everything I was gong to say, but so much better!
Yes, OP. You are being unreasonable, on so many levels.