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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be shocked by what happened?

176 replies

PumpkinPie2016 · 27/06/2018 18:01

Slight incident on my way home from work which left me feeling shocked and actually a bit shaken (probably safe I know and I am not usually easily shaken).

Part of my route home involved driving down a section of a street which joins a main road at the bottom. There is always a line of parked cars on the left hand side as you go down and therefore only room for one car to go up/down.

As I approached the start of the line of card, I checked no one was coming up/waiting/about to turn in off the main road. There is a clear view in both directions and there were no cars so I set off.

When I got about three quarters of the way down, a car turned in off the main road, quite quickly, and had to stop to wait for me to finish coming down (no where for me to pull in). He didn't have to stop suddenly as there is enough room at the bottom to have time.

I reached the bottom of the line and put my hand up to him to say thank you for stopping. We both had Windows down due to heat and as he moved off he shouted, really aggressively 'thanks you fucking stuck up slag'ShockAngry

I had already started moving and was frankly so astounded that I did not respond and just carried on. There were no other cars and no other passengers in his car so it was definitely directed at me.

I know there are dicks everywhere and i could understand him being annoyed if I had barged through (though that doesn't excuse his bike behaviour imo) but I did nothing at all wrong. I was simply driving down a street.

It's been a long, hard day at work but aibu to be shocked and a bit shaken by this?

OP posts:
Original poster
PumpkinPie2016 · 27/06/2018 18:03

Please excuse typos - I'm on my phone.

OP posts:
CryptoFascist · 27/06/2018 18:03

Just be glad you're not him, imagine being so lacking in social graces that you scream abuse at a stranger for no reason!

UrsulaPandress · 27/06/2018 18:04

It was a man. You are a woman.

Smile and wave.

Confusedbeetle · 27/06/2018 18:04

Sadly there are idiots like this. Not your fault and natural to feel shaken. Verbal abuse whips up your adrenaline. You did well to keep cool and carry on

Original poster
PumpkinPie2016 · 27/06/2018 18:04

Very true crypto. I don't think I could cope with being that angry for no reason!

OP posts:
PorkyPortia · 27/06/2018 18:05

Horrible for you but I bet they’ve got home and feel bad for reacting so rudely
You weren’t in the wrong

peartreeishappy · 27/06/2018 18:07

‘Women have no idea of how much men hate them’

Germaine Greer I think.

Sad
PattiStanger · 27/06/2018 18:10

Driving in the heat brings out the worst in lots of us, it wouldn't shock me at all, it's the kind of situation that can be annoying if you think you're in the right (I know he was wrong) he probably hasn't given it a second thought, I wouldn't either.

I was chased by a driver in a similar situation that took the time to turn round to follow me, the driver was wasting his time, I just carried on my way.

BananaToffo · 27/06/2018 18:14

Come on, be fair to him.

There he was, going about his important man business in his penis extension and some little lady, who really ought to be home cooking or beautifying herself, got in his way.

Know your place, woman.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 27/06/2018 18:15

I'm just wondering if his reaction would have been the same had you been a 6ft tall 6ft wide rugby player bloke.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 27/06/2018 18:15

Bloody bastard. Imagine being his wife.
Wine

KarinVogel · 27/06/2018 18:17

Just be glad you dont have his anger issues.

Although the words were aimed in your direction they weren't aimed 'at' you specifically. It could have been anyone that wasn't obviously an all in wrestler (bully boy tactics). he was going to have a go at whoever had stopped his so important progress.

It would have been a better outcome for him if you had reacted aggressively so that he could then have been righteously indignant and got out of his car to escalate the whole thing. Looking at him wonderingly probably burst his bubble a bit.Grin

I wonder if he continued in the same vein all the way home?

Original poster
PumpkinPie2016 · 27/06/2018 18:17

Banana that made me laugh out loud Grin

Thank you for the responses - nice to have some people with brains to talk to Smile

OP posts:
StopCloudSeeding · 27/06/2018 18:19

I always lock my car doors. I've come across some needlessly aggressive drivers before.

Bipbopbee · 27/06/2018 18:19

He was a bell sniff op

sexnotgender · 27/06/2018 18:20

He’s an arsehole, I’d almost feel sorry for someone who is that much of a tosser.

pandamodium · 27/06/2018 18:22

Could be worse, imagine being married to him.

Original poster
PumpkinPie2016 · 27/06/2018 18:22

stop yes my doors are always locked. Maybe it was because I had open Windows that I felt more shaken than if they had been shut .

OP posts:
sparkling123 · 27/06/2018 18:22

Some really horrible people about, as some one else said, imagine being this dickhead's partner shudder. It is so horrible getting abuse like that for no reason, these people are vile and live sad and pathetic lives. That's the only consolation you can take really.

IfyouseeRitaMoreno · 27/06/2018 18:23

It’s sad that women feel the need to give a long explanation of why they weren’t in the wrong in order to prove that they don’t deserve to be called a “fucking stuck up slag”.

Unless you’d rammed your car up his arse he was totally overreacting to whatever perceived slight he felt you’d committed.

But then he can afford to be an arsehole to you because he’s a bloke and you’re not.

Panicmode1 · 27/06/2018 18:25

I live on a road where we regularly get standoffs because (usually) men insist on driving down the (too narrow) street before it is clear at the other end - and a traffic jam ensues and neither party will back down. It is (usually always) the men yelling abuse, even though they are in the wrong. I have been called an f c* with my four young children in the car on more than one occasion, when they have done exactly as you describe and driven into the road without checking if it's safe to proceed.

It's utterly horrible to be sworn at and totally unnecessary and I totally understand why you feel shaky but you did nothing wrong.

PrivateDoor · 27/06/2018 18:26

What an absolute know Angry

Hope you are ok now Flowers

MothertotheLordsofmisrule · 27/06/2018 18:30

Ah, the Common or Garden Twat.
Getouttamyway Twatii

They do tend to swarm in warmer weather, usually harmless but do put on quite vigorous displays of defensive boneheadedness when provoked.

Tulipvase · 27/06/2018 18:33

Not suggesting the way he spoke to you is acceptable but is it possible he didn’t see you thank him? I can’t stand drivers that don’t.

Or some PEOPLE are just arseholes.

FermatsTheorem · 27/06/2018 18:35

"Going about his business in his penis extension" - brilliant! New favourite MN phrase.

Gah, I feel for you OP. (Much more minor, but I got cut up by a bloke the other day - pulled in front of me from the outside lane on a junction where two lanes turn right into two lanes and you're meant to stay in lane. The guy behind me almost rear-ended me 'cos I had to jump on the brakes. He then drove along behind me wagging his finger at me like I was a naughty school kid and he was the teacher. Fucker.)

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