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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

School and DD's hair

248 replies

upsideup · 27/06/2018 16:26

Uniform policy says long hair must be tied up out of the way and no extreme or fashion hairstyles. There are no examples or descriptions of what is considered an extreme/fashion hairstyle.

DD is year 6, has long, curly hair. For most of school so far it was just tied in a ponytail which by Y6 meant still had loose down to her bum, other girls complained that their hair down was still shorter than dd's up, teacher told us it was too long to just be put in a ponytail so we put it in 2 plaits, still went down to her bum but was secured tightly down her head and back out of the way. This was fine for 8+ months until another child purposely (but claimed accidentally) pulled her by her plaits on the playground and when the same child claimed she spun around a whipped him with her hair which apparently really hurt, teacher said they were still too long and getting in the way at school so we needed to change it. Other girls with longish hair(mid back) are still allowed their hair in plaits.

So for 3ish weeks we have been putting it in space buns (2 buns either side of her head), today we have been told that space buns are considered a fashion/extreme hairstyle and are not suitable for school. There really is too much hair to go into one bun and apart from cutting dd's hair which she is not prepared to do, we cant think of any other options. For secondary school her hair only needs to be up for sports and science and there are no rules on how its tied.

So AIBU to just keep sending her in with a a mixture of plaits and space buns for next few weeks with a note saying this is are only option until we get it cut but never actually get it cut? Or does anyone have any other suggestions?

OP posts:
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Allthewaves · 27/06/2018 16:28

French plait

Allthewaves · 27/06/2018 16:29

Or two buns low down at the back of her head

ScreamingValenta · 27/06/2018 16:30

I would ask them what hairstyle they want your DD to have, making it clear that you are not prepared to cut it.

FlibbertyGiblets · 27/06/2018 16:30

I think you can plait back up, like a hay wisp, will this reduce the length? #neigh

Dixiechickonhols · 27/06/2018 16:31

Plait and then Loop it up so no whipping around.

Aprilshouldhavebeenmyname · 27/06/2018 16:31

Offer to send dd in with a comb +brush and teacher can crack on.

FlibbertyGiblets · 27/06/2018 16:32

Out of interest how does your dd manage her hair?

Greenteandchives · 27/06/2018 16:33

Two plaits wound around her head and pinned on top. Like Heidi.

SleepingStandingUp · 27/06/2018 16:33

I'd say french plait as the style of plait should stop it from whipping about. I'd tell them that she is not getting it cut for the sake of three weeks but you are happy to tale suggestions

mummmy2017 · 27/06/2018 16:34

Ask them...
Put it on them to tell you what style she can have....
Ask for it in writing.
Also would they agree to ponytail with hair net...

MirriVan · 27/06/2018 16:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BumbleNova · 27/06/2018 16:35

Can you do two french plaits with the ends looped up? I.e. to half the length? It's totally ridiculous though.

PrivateDoor · 27/06/2018 16:36

Space buns do look a bit odd (hadn't heard of them so had to google) but hardly an extreme hairstyle Hmm The school sound rather OTT about this! When the hair is plaited can you not manage it into low buns, one on each side? Or can she tuck the plaits down under the back of her top for the playground, though maybe that is uncomfortable?

Amanduh · 27/06/2018 16:37

Yadnbu they are being ridiculous.

upsideup · 27/06/2018 16:37

We were doing two french plaits, it would be really thick just in one but good idea we'll try that tomorrrow.
I am really tempted to just let her go in with loose hair, hair bands and a brush to ask how they want her hair.

OP posts:
Notlivestock · 27/06/2018 16:39

How about a French braid with the long plait part pinned up? Or even two French braids pinned in a crown round her head?

SleepingStandingUp · 27/06/2018 16:39

Double braid and bun?

School and DD's hair
Justpick · 27/06/2018 16:39

3 even sized plaits. Then plait the plaits.

It will be chinky and cool and much shorter.

TroubledLichen · 27/06/2018 16:39

The school is being ridiculous. Long hair tied back is totally different to mid length hair worn down; it’s about hair not hanging in the face and loose strands that head lice can easily jump between. I’d just plait it, or tie it into a regular ponytail and send a note saying there isn’t an alternative hairstyle and your DD will not be having a hair cut.

PrivateDoor · 27/06/2018 16:40

Sleeping that is really lovely

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 27/06/2018 16:41

Plait and club the end up so it's mid-back length. But I would also be telling the school that they are making a mountain out of a molehill - I mean, seriously, someone complained that she whipped him with her hair? If I were the teacher receiving that complaint I would have said oh dear and asked your DD not to do it again. That would have been it. Quibbling about the space buns is just ridiculous given the history here!

SleepingStandingUp · 27/06/2018 16:42

Bun on top? Unless they'll send her home it doesn't matter if they approve or not at this point. 17 school days left?? Rotate a few different ones, if no complaints stick to it until they complain again

School and DD's hair
MirriVan · 27/06/2018 16:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

halfwitpicker · 27/06/2018 16:44

How would the op have the time though to do all these fancy hair styles?

Pressuredrip · 27/06/2018 16:44

Christ, just get her hair cut. I don't know why some people are so precious about keeping hair so long. It must take her and you absolutely ages to manage it.