School and DD's hair

[upsideup]

Uniform policy says long hair must be tied up out of the way and no extreme or fashion hairstyles. There are no examples or descriptions of what is considered an extreme/fashion hairstyle.

DD is year 6, has long, curly hair. For most of school so far it was just tied in a ponytail which by Y6 meant still had loose down to her bum, other girls complained that their hair down was still shorter than dd's up, teacher told us it was too long to just be put in a ponytail so we put it in 2 plaits, still went down to her bum but was secured tightly down her head and back out of the way. This was fine for 8+ months until another child purposely (but claimed accidentally) pulled her by her plaits on the playground and when the same child claimed she spun around a whipped him with her hair which apparently really hurt, teacher said they were still too long and getting in the way at school so we needed to change it. Other girls with longish hair(mid back) are still allowed their hair in plaits.

So for 3ish weeks we have been putting it in space buns (2 buns either side of her head), today we have been told that space buns are considered a fashion/extreme hairstyle and are not suitable for school. There really is too much hair to go into one bun and apart from cutting dd's hair which she is not prepared to do, we cant think of any other options. For secondary school her hair only needs to be up for sports and science and there are no rules on how its tied.

So AIBU to just keep sending her in with a a mixture of plaits and space buns for next few weeks with a note saying this is are only option until we get it cut but never actually get it cut? Or does anyone have any other suggestions?

I'd go back to two plaits and tell the teacher if she wants anything else she does it herself. (with the caveat that it is not being cut!).

We had loads of hair nonsense at our primary school when I was a child. They had a rule that hair "below the collar" had to be tied back, and "shoulder-length" had to be plaited. The policing of these rules was extremely uneven which didn't help. Our hairlines were below the collar so any time we had our hair properly short we'd have nonsense over tying it up. And it was fine and thick so plaits were unachievable at shoulder length.

Lots of girls with medium length hair whip people unintentionally every day, I see it. They also sit "doing" their hair at their desks or have some impromptu hair salons in the playground at break and lunch

School are being ridiculous insisting that space buns are extreme.

I would do your daughter's hair however you like, send a note saying that due to the thickness of her hair what they are asking is not possible. You have 3 weeks left, this is madness on her teacher's behalf.

Log roll. It's what people with seriously long hair do and it's fairly conservative looking. I used to have hair down to my hips and it would always get it nicely out the way!

its sounds to me the school are being ridiculous and borderline bullying your DD about her hair.

I'd be letting her continue doing what works for her and ask the school for more specifics suggestions if they have a problem. argue with them for 3 weeks. Job done.

Are the other girls bullying her worrying their moaning or is daughter being a brat about her hair? If it's the former are they going up to big school together? If the latter then that needs tackling before she's the littlest in the school

Second asking them what style they want, in writing.

she could slap them with her hands, would the school suggest they were cut off?? Had she indeed done it, children that whine about being hit with someone else's hair need to be educated out of brat mode.

those buns must weigh a ton.

other girls complained that their hair down was still shorter than dd's up, teacher told us it was too long

This part seems the most telling. Looks like petty jealousy and the teacher should be wise enough to have squashed it.

Your DD shouldn't have to police her hair because others complain it's longer than theirs. It's ludicrous.

School is being unreasonable and possibly discriminatory.
Your dd' s hair needs to be safe and that is all. Her hair hitting another child is no different to an arm hitting another child.
But if you want to concede a little ground to them then tie the hair at the nape of the neck in any combination of plaits/bunches that you like. That will stop any whip factor.

Agree that the school are being ridiculous.
I find these sorts of rules utterly pointless. It is hair. Unless it is dangerous (could get caught in machinery) then the length (and style and colour) have no bearing on anyone's ability to be educated.

I'd be writing to the Head to ask exactly how she is expected to have her hair, given that it currently conforms to the regulations stipulated.

Sounds overly controlling of the school IMO, I wouldn't be happy!

other girls complained that their hair down was still shorter than dd's up and?

One long plait. Fold it up to 1/4 of its length and secure with a bobble. Repeat again, secure with a bobble and a scrunchie to make it look neat. Easy. Sorry OP but I think you are making it more difficult than needs be 🤷🏻‍♀️

I have thick curly hair that ends somewhere below my bum and above my knees. The size of the bun my hair makes would be overwhelming on a child. Which is probably why OP's daughter didn't wear it in a low bun.

The school is being ridiculous. I had friends with super long hair when I was young and they never had it up. It was a non issue.

I would recommend trying some of these styles at home first. There's been a few suggested that would give me a headache in short order.

I agree about asking what hairstyle would be acceptable.

This is very similar to my primary school. I had very long hair past my bum and there were a few who complained. Even though I had this in a long plait for most of my latter years at school, I still ended up with a glue stick randomly stuck in it to which the teacher said was my fault for having it so long.....
In the end my older sister put my hair in French plaits and then a bun at the bottom. Similar to what Sleeping suggested.

My hair is really thick and heavy so it was actually quite good to have off of my neck in the summer x

For thee sake of 3 weeks, pony tail & tuck in in her shirt

They are being ridiculous.
Sounds like someone is jealous and instead of asking pertinent questions they are pandering to them.
Tell them its staying the way it is until end of term.

Christ, just get her hair cut. I don't know why some people are so precious about keeping hair so long. It must take her and you absolutely ages to manage it.

Why the hell should she? I have hair down to my waist and it doesnt take me absolutely ages to do. Why do other people get to tell a child her hair is 'wrong' but someone with hari 3 inches shorter is ok? Its not hurting anyone nor stopping her learning. All those excuse are just BS.
If other kids are jealous and keep making desparaging remarks about her hair then the teacher should be aware that this is a way of bullying dd and not be encouraging it.

I'd tell them to FOATFOSM, but I also would have done that some time ago. Then written to the Governors about the ridiculous policy.

Tied back? Yes. Tied up in ways so other girls aren't jealous she has really long hair? No.

The point of the policy has been met: hair tied back. They are now being ridiculous.

Does DD manage her own hair for swimming lessons etc at school?
Teacher is being an arsehole, request a meeting with her specifically to ask which styles are acceptable. One of my DD's hair is mega thick and long and some of the styles suggested here make me weep at another morning task

Utterly ridiculous. DD1 is year 5 and has hair almost down to her bum although it's not curly. She gets a low ponytail which is then plaited. Neat and tidy and off her face. That's as much effort as I'm prepared to do. Agree that if the teacher doesn't like it, send her in with loose hair and a brush and hair bands. Good luck to her!

School are being ridiculous in my opinion.
Long hair tied up is totally different to mid length hair down.
Long tied up hair doesn't get in your face, nor does it lead to endless playing with it. It's not going to give the same hot head feeling on thr back of their neck. It's not in thr way for anything other than sport.

Hair that's down gets in faces, gets in thr way etc.

I'd speak to school and point this out. It sounds like school are spending too much time and effort appeasing parents/students who want to whine because they have to follow rules so they're taking thr easy route out by speaking to a good student and supportive parent.

P.s. buns or plaited top knots are quite nice

School are being beyond ridiculous imho, would like to think they have bigger issues to deal with than long hair but hey eye roll how about a low bun at the nape of the neck secured with bobby pins?

The school are being ridiculous about it. With 3 weeks to go I would just put it in a ponytail and let them moan because I couldn't be bothered to attempt complicated hairstyles at 8am and in 3 weeks she won't be a part of this school and their stupid hair rules

An easy bun is to tie hair in a high ponytail and split the hair and make 2 plaits. Wrap the first one around the ponytail and pin, wrap the second over/around that and pin using 2 of those spiral hairgrips. I used this for years in nursing with bum-length hair.

My colleague who showed me how to do this had longer and thicker hair and made 3 plaits from the ponytail. Keep plaiting until you really can't get the last few strands and then loop the hairband up about an inch at the end to capture stray hairs. It makes a tight, neat bun.

I could make one in under five minutes, sometimes half that if I didn't need to take out overnight tangles.

And no one should tell her to get her hair cut. That's personal choice.