to ask what DH does that really fucks you off?

[martapolska2]

But not to the point where you will LTB.

My DH insists on chucking all his beer can in the black bin and not a recycle bin!

This!

Spreads items out evenly over every flat surface. I'm on the verge of buying razor wire to go on top of the bookshelves and radiator covers to stop him littering them with stuff.

DP leaves stuff behind him, like a trail of detritus and things not put away. Just little things - like he'll open a bottle of milk and leave the pull-off tab on the worktop, milk side down so I have to put it in the bin and then wipe up the milk. His breakfast bowl on the worktop over the dishwasher instead of in the dishwasher. His shoes in a pile in the hall instead of on the shoerack under the stairs. The cellophane from a birthday card on the floor by his chair. It drives me crazy! It's like having another pre-schooler to clean up after.

And in general I try not to go on about it because he compares so well to many of the men my friend are with - great father who pulls his won weight, does lots around the house (some of it without being asked), good job, even temper, fun to be around, loving and generous... just a bit careless with little things. And I suffer from OCD (actually diagnosed) so I'm mindful that those little things probably aren't a big deal to most people. But for fuck's sake, put your teabag in the fucking bin, DP!

What is it with leaving clothes on top of the washing basket? So many of them do it.
Sneezing about 20 times in a shouty way
scraping cutlery on the plate, puts my teeth on edge
pretty crap table manners eg elbows on table, never puts cutlery down etc
opens cupboard door, stares, shouts "where is x ..."
toothpaste all over the mirror in the bathroom
washes his hands in the sink (we have a cloakroom)
turns to get the towel in the wrong direction every single time, thus dripping on floor over maximum possible distance
washes everything (including frying pans) before glasses because his mother told him never to wash glasses in hot water
when we're going out, waits till I'm completely ready then goes for a pee
"needs" (just in case) to go for a pee at every available loo, in supermarkets etc
always in his own bubble, so I have to get his attention first before I can speak otherwise I have to repeat myself
Fantastic life style though (boats) only possible because of his skills - buying, doing up, maintaining ... We could never afford it if we had to pay to get things fixed.
makes up for it all
I am a total klutz and he fixes everything I mess up too and doesn't complain

On the phone all the time! Eating, walking. Just browsing crap on fb

juneau your post has made me really mad on your behalf. Why can't HE become a teacher if he's so keen on one of you having childcare-friendly employment? I'd stop doing anything round the house, then he'll see exactly how much you do normally do, but I'm petty like that.

My ex husband....

Used to put his Weetabix breakfast bowl on the worktop next to the sink. By the time l came home you almost needed a hammer and chisel to get it off. How much effort does it take to move it six inches and put some water in it?

Used to eat meals such as two (!) chicken kievs, potatoes, three kinds of veg, gravy and grated cheese on top (?) then complain at the end of the week when there was 'nothing to eat'. Explaining that most normal people wouldn't eat two kievs in one go, and that was why there was nothing left at the end of the week fell on stony ground.

l'd do a 'big shop' (l worked shifts, he didn't) and buy a multipack of 10 crisps for us to take to work. Five each. l'd go to work on a late shift, and come home to find he'd eaten seven of them. ln one evening. lncluding my salt and vinegar, which he 'didn't like'.

Used to wait til he couldn't find any clean socks, then ask if he had any. l'd say, "are there any in the washing machine, tumble dryer, or in your drawer?" "No." So l'd go upstairs and find the laundry bin in his room (shifts again) piled high with the lid perched on the top. l washed them. l dried them. Put the clean ones away. ls it so much to ask for him to bring the dirty ones downstairs?

Would refuse to cut the grass if l hadn't had sex with him. Which didn't bother me in the slightest. Considering that l did all the housework, cooking when there were two of us there, cleaning, washing and ironing.

lt's hardly surprising he's an ex.....

I love him dearly but...he always leaves the fridge open when making a sandwich or getting a drink.
Crumbs on the work surface.
Always has bread with dinner! I have stopped buying it now 🤨
If he cooks he’s always puts way to much salt in to the point it’s inedible.
Always leaves plates/cups on top of dishwasher. Why? Just why?
Like I said I really like him though! 😂

Gosh, this is cathartic.

Another habit (although this has almost stopped lately) is jumping up immediately he has finished eating his dinner to start tidying and loading the dishwasher. I think one time it was so bad I had literally only just sat down and started eating after dishing up and dealing with the DC when he declared he was finished and up he went, tidying up and moaning at the washing up needed. Given we generally only eat two meals a week as a family (he works long hours in the week) and weekend breakfast/lunch are fairly causal timing depending on what everyone is doing, I find it a little sad he is in such a hurry to get away from the table. This has stopped recently and whilst he now stays at the table, the dishes are left festering whilst his 'dinner digests'. Unless I crack and tidy up (a 5/10 min job) sometimes he will leave the tidying up overnight or at the very least until 10/11pm when he does it with accompanying noises and moaning.

Oh, and....

Couldn't get up for work in the mornings. Even when we only had one car and l had to leave the house at 6.30am for an early shift. l'd be up at five, and spend the last half hour up and down the stairs shouting at him to get up. When we had two cars, and l was on early shifts, l actually used to get calls from his work asking if he was ok, as he hadn't turned into work, and wasn't answering the phone. One morning l had to take my lunch break at 9.30am to go home to see if he was alright. And got my head chewed off for it for 'checking up' on him.

Scraped the yogurt pot with the spoon til l was at screaming pitch.
Even when he was nearly through to the outside.

Once spent an entire Christmas Eve upstairs while we had guests 'wrapping presents'. Four hours. When questioned, he said he 'liked the pattern to match'.

Working shifts, l got one weekend in three off. When it was my weekend off, he'd stay in bed til lunchtime, and when l asked if we were going out, he'd say "Everywhere will be busy now."
When l was on early shift, and he went out on Friday night, he'd come back in the small hours, waking me up. But when l was on late shift l'd come home at midnight and he'd be in bed snoring.

l'm going to stop now. l can feel my blood pressure going up.....

GeekyBlinders thing is, if he was the one home with the kids I'd STILL end up doing all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, buying/wrapping presents, school admin, play dates, etc, because it never occurs to him to do anything but the absolute basics when I'm not around. I went away for the weekend two weeks ago - first time I'd done it in ten years - and he had my DM come down for the weekend to 'help him out' Who else on earth would rather have their MIL stay for the weekend than cope with their own kids (who are, btw, 10 and 7, so hardly babies)???

Throwing his dirty washing AT the laundry basket so it lands on top. He seems to think it has a magic function which allows it top open up and take said items inside.

Not puffing up the cushions on the sofas. He is a night owl and often sprawls out but never straightens or poofs the cushions so when I come down in the morning they are all flat and mishapen.

Putting items in the sink not in the dishwasher - RRRRRRRRRAAAAAHHH!!!

Spends an hour in the bathroom every evening having a poo and a shower, usually when I need to get the kids ready for bed.

Leaves the sugar canister out on the side every morning

Yawns and sneezes extravagantly and leaves used tissues EVERYWHERE

Makes an irritating aaaah sound after taking his first sip of tea (and now the kids do it because they think it's funny that it annoys me)

Jiggles my tummy

Loads of stuff but one has annoyed me today. He likes to put extra butter into the pan while cooking something garlicky, using the wooden spatula. DS (5) is —a vampire— deathly averse to garlic so can instantly taste when he’s “infected” the butter with it and then refuses to eat whatever it is I’ve buttered.

I’m pretty sure he does it cos he secretly wants to be the salt sprinkling bloke.

Waking me up in the night with the most unbelievable loud and long farts. I wake up thinking I hear a gun shot or bomb exploding. It really annoys me!!!!

That and his bloody chickens. We only have 3 of the fuckers but I get sick to death of sweeping up chicken poo in the garden and stopping them coming into the house when the back door is open.

Opens his post in the kitchen. Leaves it there in piles. Important documents, spam, appointments, all of it. He doesn't file anything, ever, but then expects it to magically appear in his files the next time he's looking for it.

Six months later demands to know why I moved that important letter he only put down "for a moment." Once he's exhausted that arguement he moves on to say that he's sure he's filed it, I must have taken it out of his file and not put it back

I generally shove it all in a pile and hand it over when he's looking for something. Never a thank you, just accusations that I've purposely "hidden it."

He has good qualities. I'm just struggling to remember them right now...

He wees on the shower, not in it, although he probably does that & I don’t care, but on it. We have a glass shower which is next to the loo and if he’s had a drink he sways about and spatters the glass with wee. And then denies it. It can’t be anyone else and I’ve SEEN him do it.
Sometimes he said he’ll sit down to wee bit he forgets after about an hour.
Tbh I’ve given up mentioning it and just wipe the shower with glass wipes.
He’s pretty good apart from that really.

When he works from home, he cooks eggs for lunch and it stinks the house out.

When he cooks with the frying pan, he always has it on a high heat, filling the house with smoke and stench, setting off the smoke alarm. He never bloody listens to reasin about turning the heat down.

Pees on the floor sometimes and doesn't clean it up.

Goes into a long, technical-word-filled explanation of some work thing randomly, that may as well be in Russian for all I understand.

Oversharing information with restaurant servers/retail staff/any Tom, dick and Harry he passes on the street

Makes jokes or "witty" comments to our toddler, for the benefit of any adults in ear shot. Toddler doesn't have a clue what he's saying obvs.

I'm sure there's more

I don't think I'm meant to co-habit (I don't, as a matter of choice) - because I'd be L-ingTB for a lot of these!

Mine requires effusive praise every time he performs some minor domestic chore eg hanging up the washing or putting his dishes in the dishwasher

Talks about an egg omelette as in terms of a cheese omelette. It makes me and dd want to scream.

Tidied everything away and hides it in random places then denies all knowledge of it😖

Breathe.

DH thinks doing half of the washing up deserves praise. He never gets it. He thinks I don't appreciate him doing things around the house.... I would appreciate it if the stuff he did wasn't half arsed.

He never uses the washing machine but constantly asks if he has clean boxers, t-shirts, socks etc. I just tell him I don't know and leave him searching the house for clean stuff. I used to just throw his clothes in with mine but I've stopped so I'm waiting to see how long it takes him to mention his dirty pile.

Has a habit of getting pissed up and lobbing wine bottles over the garages and onto the derelict land behind us.

Thinks books and dvds that he never reads or watches are ‘art’ and thus gives them acres of prime storage space in our main living area. And refuses to have more shelving up in. Either clear the dvds or get more storage!!!! So I end up culling my stuff and the kids’ , so we can keep the entire 24 box set, untouched, on the shelf.

Asks me where stuff is before looking for it. In fact, the whole family think I’m some sort of comprehensive cataloguing system.