to ask what DH does that really fucks you off?

[martapolska2]

But not to the point where you will LTB.

My DH insists on chucking all his beer can in the black bin and not a recycle bin!

Oh and has to re-arrange anything I put in the dishwasher. No it really doesn’t matter if shock horror a big plate and little plate are next to each other they all get washed the same when it’s on!

Crying at these!!
Uses the word WOODS to describe a pile of WOOD. It drives me insane. "theres some Woods in the shed" NO NO you go for a walk in the woods in the shed there is some WOOD!!

If i ask what hes been doing all day (on his day off) hell tell me hes "surfaced cleaned" i have no idea what this means, he cant give a straight answer, What exactly have you cleaned? What surface? its code for Ive done nothing but wipe a baby wipe over the kitchen worktops two mins before you were due back.

Worlds slowest cook - last weekend took him 3 hours to make spag bol........

He, very kindly, offers to make dinner during the week sometimes but it just takes so damn long I end up hangry and wondering why on earth I said yes! So now it’s weekends only and I send him into the kitchen at 4pm so we have a hope of eating at a reasonable time.

Opens his post only every 3 months, leading to unpaid bills, missed tax demands. Then leaving aforementioned post sitting in piles all over the place.

He puts his rubbish NEXT to the bin instead of in the bin..
9 years later and we're getting closer to the bin but still can't seem to open the lid and put the the rubbish IN it. I've warned him that one day I'll reach the end of my tether with he thinks is hilarious as he thought I reached it long ago lol!

I expect my husband would have a much longer list about me, than mine about him lol

I fidget. I'm notoriously untidy. I leave threads everywhere (I'm a dressmaker with a home studio). I have the attention span of a goldfish except when I'm working or reading. I am a great cook, which he appreciates but he always does the dishes and mutters darkly about me using every utensil in the kitchen to make a meal (not true, although I did set myself it as a target once, just to see if it were achievable and yep, it's possible). I remember nothing. Nothing at all. Not even what day it is. So he's constantly reminding me of things we need to do, or conversations we've had. He's endlessly patient with over that as it's an effect of epilepsy and therefore Not My Fault. Officially. It's not because I'm not paying attention. Oh no.....

My husband yawns loudly and always say a little "ahhh dear" on the exhalation.

My DP is another one who puts clothes on top of the washing basket instead of in it - I've just stopped washing anything that isn't in it!

He also sits on his phone too much - sometimes when we're with my DM which drives me absolutely barmy!

Am i allowed to do a DW one?

If so -

Horrendous double-standards when it comes to clothes being left out. Me and DC get it in the neck daily. So occasionally we take her on a tour of the house "shoes in the kitchen, cardigan in the office, pants in the bathroom...". Nothing changes though.

She absolutely flat out refuses to involve herself in finances/insurance/utilities etc. Apparently that was her dad's job, so it should be mine. I hate this, because I really worry she'd be stuffed if i got hit by a bus. So I try and make sure she knows, but I don't know if it sticks.

She always uses the big mug for herself when making tea. I always make sure she has it when I make her tea.

"I'm just going to sit for half an hour" - prelude to 3 hours of Candy Crush & Love Island

I would be hard pushed to pick between.

Sock Doughnuts
Not putting rubbish in the bin (really MrDefender it's right beside you)
Digs into butter in the middle of the carton - fkn scrape it man!!
'Does the housework for me' (moves all things into other rooms and runs the hoover over)
Is STARVING and must eat this scotch egg - I'm putting dinner on the plate right now

Love him though!

Oh, and fucking hair grips/elastics EVERYWHERE

Though this is more DD than DW.

Whistles after he burps - does my head in.
STILL doesn’t understand recyclable vs non-recyclable. Took me three years to stop him putting fucking apple cores into the recycling bin and now i find all manner of cardboard in the normal bin.
Winds the cat up.
Im 30 weeks pregnant - i could go on and on

Leaves the kitchen cupboards open, everytime he goes into one.

Insists on unloading the dishwasher just when I am getting to the most frantic part of cooking dinner/serving up e.g I'll be basting potatoes, putting veg into the microwave to cook, trying to set the table and making gravy all whilst tripping over DH unloading the dishwasher.

Never comes to the table when dinner is served - this is so rude and it really fucks me off. I'm fairly sure it's so he doesn't have to help the DC serve themselves / help with any cutting up required. When he does appear, he then faffs around getting himself a drink (but never offers anyone else one, unless we are having a glass of wine for dinner). He excelled himself a few years ago at Christmas, my DPs were visiting, and he got his annual Christmas Day phone call from his Mum. Instead of politely excusing himself and calling back an hour later, he carried on chatting. The rest of us proceeded to eat dinner as DC was hungry. He didn't join us for at least 30 mins, whereby we had all pretty much finished eating. My DP were like this . That was probably the nadir of that particular habit tbh.

Takes at least 60 mins in the bathroom on weekend mornings and whenever he needs the loo over the weekend - yet can be up, showered in dressed in 15 - 20 minutes every weekday. If I say anything he will be pedantic about the time he has taken when challenged, so if I say 60mins, he will insist it was only 53 mins, like that is really any better and pretty spectacularly missing the point.

Whenever we are going out on a weekend, insists he is ready to go, watches me run around getting myself ready and chivvying the DC to get ready, then once we are all ready, disappears to the bathroom and then starts asking where his trousers/top/jumper/glasses/wallets/keys are, whilst we stand around like dummies. Alternatively he will start doing some vital job, like un/loading the dishwasher, taking out the bins/recycling any and all of which could have been done whilst he was 'waiting' for the rest of us to get ready. Then once we actually manage to get to the car, he proceeds to spend 5 mins moaning the car is 'filthy' and throwing out rubbish - when it never is, it's usually just a few tissues/wipes in the car bin or the odd empty water bottle that need to be taken out of the car.

Blows his armpits dry!
And the rest of his body, as if he is taking part in a hot coal crossing dance!

Leaves tea bags in a discard dish and teaspoons next to the sink! Any other rubbish is put in the correct bin, all other cutlery and crockery go in the dishwasher (or in the case of special glassware is carefully washed/dried/sided)...but never the flipping teaspoons!

whendoi ah yes the time challenge. I have this as well. However long I say he has been in there he claims it's always 10 minutes less.

"How can you shit for 55 mins"

"I think you will find it was 45"

"Still how can you shit for 45 mins when it takes normal people 3 or 4 minutes at the most"

Sigh.

Oh WhendoIsleep, I recognise the unloading the dishwasher one!!! We have a tiny kitchen and it's really not big enough for the two of us to be working in it together, and it's always always always just as I'm frantically opening ovens and basting things, I''ve got things on the top boiling and will need to drain them soon, the microwave's pinging and I need the plates in hot water to warm up...

then

THEN

the bastard decides to "get ahead" by washing up.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH

Shits with the bathroom door open

Just cannot tidy and clean, he does stuff in a weird order? I can sort the whole upstairs and he'll still be doing the kitchen; HOW?!

Owns 8 million pairs of socks but never washes them together or puts them in the basket together so we live with a pile of odd socks on the chest of drawers. ARRRRghhh!

1. Never wipes his bum properly so leaves ginger marks on the bedding.

2. Never puts milk/butter/cheese ... away so in this heat there was a pool of Camembert across the side with flies stuck to it like glue

3. Takes bottle top off beer & leaves on side - above the bin

Awful, loud, sneezes that make me jump out of my skin.

I'll ask him to clean something (usually a saucepan but could be anything, including an incubator once). Instead of cleaning it, he puts it outside where I can't see it, and tells me he has cleaned it and put it away. Months later, when I need the thing again, I discover it behind the henhouse, or under a trough. It would probably have been quicker for him to clean it than hide it.
It's never cheap stuff either, the incubator he ruined by leaving it outside "for the rain to wash" cost nearly £200!

Oh, and he can't sneeze properly. He doesn't cover his nose/mouth, makes an horrendous noise and each sneeze is accompanied by a him shaking his head whilst sneezing.

He does have lots of redeeming features though.

@Winegal - thanks

4. Shits with the door open

"Good Morning"

The thing that really fucks me off is that he says I do nothing. I am a SAHM, yes, but I wanted to go back to work 2 years ago and he talked me out of it, because I wanted to go back into my old corporate world and he said it would be unmanageable with two DC (he wanted me to become a teacher, because it would fit with the kids, but I've never wanted to teach). I now study PT and I do absolutely everything in the house and for the DC. I think it's a pretty fair division of labour and since I went back to studying I've stopped feeling miserable and bored, but I do wish he'd stop saying I do nothing!