to ask what DH does that really fucks you off?

[martapolska2]

But not to the point where you will LTB.

My DH insists on chucking all his beer can in the black bin and not a recycle bin!

Chews food like a goat with an extra set of teeth.... Grrrrrr.

is on the bloody phone when we are out eating together

Mine was so awful at this. Next time we went out I took a book. When he had been staring at his phone for about 2 minutes I got it out of my bag and started reading. He called me "bloody rude".

He's a bit better now !

He faffs and can't prioritise - or at least he starts doing something and takes twice as long to do it because he's faffing around with things he doesn't need to and/ or gets easily distracted. And he piles dishes up beside the kitchen sink rather than put them in the dishwasher. It drives me nuts. He also puts things back, not in their usual place, but entirely randomly so I can never find what I need. I have become used to thinking like him, just so I can locate the Hoover, or the iron, or a hairbrush, or whatever it is!

Boob grab?

Crikey

Leaves the curtains open in the spare room when I have asked him 10000000 times not to. I change in there and the fucking neighbours must cop an eyeful every day. It makes me so fucking angry completely irrationally. I've taken to tying the curtains together [childish]

Mine gets coffee grounds all over everything when making his coffee in the morning. If I say anything, he'll say 'OK, I won't have coffee any more' - he is very passive aggressive as well. We have fruit flies in the kitchen and I suspect coffee grounds might be encouraging them.

@PitterPatterOfBigFeet I'm surprised you haven't killed him. That would drive me up the wall!

Leaves clothes all over the floor, even though the washing basket is literally half a second away. Also likes to put clean clothes on top of the dirty ones. When he tidied anything, it all goes in the wrong place, so I have to look for ages to find anything. Oh, and thinks it's funny to poke me in the belly button, tweak my nipples and poke my armpits when I'm trying to sleep.

Puts wet towels on top of dry pile
Clothes on bedroom floor
Clothes on TOP of washing basket

The faffing
Oh the faffing

Also the picking up an item, using it, then putting it down about 5 inches away from where he picked it up from instead of just putting it back
Eg takes toothbrush out of toothbrush holder on shelf, brushes teeth, puts toothbrush back on shelf next to toothbrush holder
But with everything he touches
The whole house is slowly moving slightly to the left

And his inability to lift the lid on the washing basket

martapolska2 don't worry, he gets blocked like Wonder woman deflecting bullets with her wrist bracelet thingies.

Leaves cups to drain on the drainer the right way up!!!

tea bag on the sink

Oh, and thinks it's funny to poke me in the belly button, tweak my nipples and poke my armpits when I'm trying to sleep.

I would LTB for that. Sleep is everything.

Ok, the worst one for my DH and the reason I never bother with gifts for him anymore:
He just leaves gifts lying around and doesn't open them. e,g years ago I bought him an MP3 player (when they were new) and he left it lying around in the box for months and never used it. Likewise, Fathers Day, left DS gift lying on the box since then.

Impatiently cuts me off mid-sentence because he thinks he already knows what I'm going to say. So rude .

He doesn't cough properly. He does this sort of weird shallow blowing his cheeks out thing like he's coughing right from the top of his lungs. It is irrationally infuriating.

He doesn't cough properly.

I feel your pain. DH doesn't sneeze properly.

Crikey I could make a whole list.
Being affectionate in public (hate students/parents seeing him grope me in Tesco).
Being embarrassing in public, again usually Tesco, he walks around giggling at his phone, whistling, singing, talking to himself, reading signs, labels etc. I know this is my issue, but still annoying.
Generally being incompetent with everything. Can't think about stuff at home, can't cook, can't plan ahead, can't do anything without explicit instructions and even then cocks it up.

But he is wonderful in so many ways, totally loving and I'm sure I'm just as annoying.

Late for everything!

If we're driving a long distance and I need to stop he'll happily drive past 2/3 rest areas till he needs to go too. This was more irritating when the kids were little and couldn't hold it for bloody ages while he ignored rest stops.

Will start a day out with no fucking petrol in the car. As soon as we hit the motorway (traffic jams are the norm here) the bloody car is making that tank empty dinging noise. This one turns me into a screeching banshee.

Starts a job in the house, gets it too the messiest point, buggers off and starts something else.

Becomes Mr Perfect when his parents are around. Cooking, cleaning, childcare, he's superman! Makes it seem like he does everything.

Always going to the loo, just as we're about to go out the front door. Every. Single. Time.

He has the most OBNOXIOUS sneeze in the history of the world. Drives me crazy.

Oh my DP doesn't cough or sneeze properly. It's like a two in one and his whole head goes. It amazes me he doesn't fall over! And he never covers his nose/mouth, it's so gross!
That actually really really fucks me off, we've had many arguments over it. He says he doesn't know he's going to cough/sneeze until he does it. But he can sit there with the presneeze look on his face and still not reach for a tissue or put a hand over his face. And coughing is something you do isn't it, not involuntary???

I am convinced my husband is playing drying crockery jenga. We have a 2 tier drier. He will put plates laid down on the bottom instead of in the actual bit for them at the top, then stack more plates on top and a bowl, 2 cups on the drainer below which has a capacity for 12 then puts the last cup on the actual draining board.

I have to re-arrange it all whenever I see it.

Leaves his socks outside the bathroom door every single night then the next morning decides to put them in the washbasket. Leaves other dirty clothes ontop of the washbasket instead of in it. Leaves crumbs and other debris from sandwich making etc all over the surfaces. Plays a very annoying noisy fighting game several times a night next to me on the sofa. Makes jokes that he thinks are funny but are completelynot