to ask what DH does that really fucks you off?

[martapolska2]

But not to the point where you will LTB.

My DH insists on chucking all his beer can in the black bin and not a recycle bin!

Puts a dirty cup above the dishwasher, ie instead of opening the door and putting it in, he'll literally sit it above on the worktop.
Makes noises while eating ice cream.
Refuses to wear shorts unless in the house or abroad. No idea why this bothers me but it does.
Plus he always has to drop in how much something costs, if he has bought me it (rarity) This fucks me off no end.

Toothpaste on the mirror (how?)
Toothpaste on the wall beside the basin.
Damp towels screwed up on the rail.
Toilet roll on the cistern when there's a perfectly good holder beside the loo.
Shoes in the middle of the floor.
When I've cleaned the sink and it's all sparkly is the time to bring in muddy plant pots and wash them.
Starts talking before he comes into the room so I miss the first few words he says.
Hovers while I'm on the phone and calls out things he wants me to say (especially if he thinks I'm talking to a bank etc when I'm talking to one of my customers )

The worst one is speaking to me with his back turned or his hand over his mouth so I can't lip read.

Eats breakfast cereal loudly at 10pm at night after having eaten a large dinner.

never had a dh but want to join in. the ex.

taking stupid amount of time to have a shit, taking in the newspaper to read! not sure how someone can sit and smell their own shit for so long. even worse shitting for so long in full view with the door open...and then... then.. leaving heavy shit marks to sit and dry down the pan when I begged time after time to take a few seconds to chuck some bleach over it.

first thing in the morning, doing the biggest, smelliest fart under the covers then spending waking moments head stuck in facebook catching up on other peoples lives... then off to toilet. id see him about lunch time lol

opening every fucking cupboard and draw and leaving them open. I went out one day and came home to what resembled a burglary! everything open, mess everywhere.

not putting clothes away. I would wash, dry and put them on the bed for him to put away. he would get into bed knocking them on the floor then taking off dirty clothes and leaving them with the rest of the clean stuff on the floor-drobe. I then don't know what was clean or dirty. I started a rule that if it wasn't in the basket it didn't get washed. so he just wore it no matter what. yuk.

pulling at my trousers to look down and see what underwear I was wearing! boiled my piss every time but wouldn't listen.

sitting in a dark room on a sunny day cos he cant see the telly due to the sun we all sit in the dark. so he can watch 3 hours of box sets or day of sports.

but with all those fuckeries he was actually a lovely kind hearted man. and I aint an easy person to live with by far!!

he just needed someone less miserable to put up with him

He leaves burnt toast crumbs in the butter. Because he takes too much and then scrapes the excess back into the container. Drives me mad.

The time he wastes thinking about doing something.
He always leaves getting ready to go anywhere to the last minute.
When he's finished eating, just leaving his plate on the side in the kitchen, he only had to walk two more steps to put it in sink.
Never listening when I tell him something, then asking a question I've just given him the answer to.
Oh, and he keeps breathing.

So much.

4 seater sofa. He'll stretch out so there's no room to sit down.
Sleeps all afternoon and evening unless I "give" him tasks.
moans that I haven't washed something he's not even put remotely bear the laundry basket.

Hobbies. Oh my days, the Hobbies.

We pay £49 a month for a gym he got bored of 4 months ago, he's got a scooter he never uses, he's looking at buying a bike he'll use 3 times and never again. Tropical fish, model vehicles, fishing (hundreds of ££ of kit just sitting here)
Out of everything it's the never ending hobby thing that gets my goat more.

Never helps with the serious side of parenting- sanctions, telling off etc. Just wants to be their friend.

A lot of the previous ones mentioned above.

Also... takes the fucking food catchy grate thing out of the fucking sink everytime he washes the dishes so I have to scoop manly sodding smooshy food out of the plug whole. WHY. WHY. WHY. THAT IS WHAT THE FUCKING THING IS THERE FOR WHY DO YOU KEEP REMOVING IT.

1. Despite me telling him 7000 times not to fill the sink up and then leave all the dirty dishes in it. Continues to do so. This means 1. I can't get into the sink to ways my hands, fill up kettle etc and 2. Now the sink is full of disgusting greasy food water which I'll have to stick my whole sodding arm in to unplug the sink. 3. Now the mugs need washing ALL OVER instead of a quick wash of the inside and til because they've got bits of onions and grease stuck to them.

1. Despite me also telling him basically every day since time began that "soft plastics" aren't recyclable. Continues to put them in the recycling anyway.

1. Also mentioned above... "doesn't know where my clothes go". Fucking bollocks. They aren't hidden!!! Clothes in the wardrobe and underwear in the drawers. Piss off.

1. His sneezes smell. And he doesn't cover his mouth so it's like a fucking explosion of stinking grotty sneeze all over the whole room.

Phew. I might go into the kitchen And murder him now.

@idontevencareanymore

Are we with the same person? Several hundred on guitars that he stemmed on annoyingly for a week and then never touched again.

Over a thousand pounds on fucking golf clubs. Yes packed in golf because he was shite.

Hundreds on a stupid diet plan that he never sticks too.

Season tickets... never goes.

Gym membership... been twice.

PlayStation subscription... never plays that either.

My god. Do I even like this man 😂

Oh and... last one. Promise.

Asks if I want anything from the shop. Yes please can you get x. "I don't know where that is you'll have to come with me".

Just go and move to Australia or something.

To add to throwing dirty washing on top of the basket... I moved the basket and now he throws it on the floor where the basket used to be.

Watching videos on his phone/iPad at full volume whilst we’re watching tv in the same room.

Throwing clothes that aren’t dirty enough to wash or clean enough to put back in the cupboard on his ‘floordrobe’.

Always helping his mates with jobs etc but never asking them to come help him when he needs it!!

Insists that the sink is also a waste disposal unit. His evidence for this is that all the crud he deposits in it has disappeared the next time he looks. I've spent 38 years telling him that's because I remove it. 38 years, people.

I have one that won't cough or nose blow properly....coughs are forced right from the back of the throat like some sort of explosion, nose blowing is always a big unproductive trumpetty affair

Post...he is like Smaug, every little bit that is ever sent to him MUST be kept safely. AND any envelope he has opened looks like it has been savaged by a werewolf with a paper fetish. Of course when I say safely I mean evenly distributed around the entire house in piles of varying height not correlated to importance.
I round it up every so often and give it to him and he will put it in a bag but nothing else gets done... I once whittled down several bags of his post to a small pile once I had chucked out all the mangled envelopes and return envelopes and general bumf and leaflets.

Folding, the man cannot fold. He folds towels into quarters and not one single edge or corner will match. Tshirts...also in quarters with no regard to side seams or arms inside out or anything.
Even if we have a large sheet to fold he cannot match the corners....I have to do it and give him the bits "just hold it"

Please stop enabling all this crappy behaviour. It's not lol. It's not endearing. It's fucking pathetic.

Offers me the "best bits" of roast meat ie the nicely shaped flat slices from the middle, first, dressed up as selfless devotion, in the hope of keeping all the crispy bits for himself whilst still managing to look like the hero. Come off it man. We both know the crispy bits are the best bits. You love them. I love them. So admit that they are what we both want and divide them equally. Or if needs must we can each take a fork and start stabbing each other in the hands in an animalistic fight over the crispy bits. It would be less annoying yhan that martyred pretence of giving me the "best bits" that aren't the best bits.

Leaves food in the sink/on plates .

Uses but never changes the toilet roll , but gets out a new one and puts it on top of the holder rather than on it

Picks himself constantly, nails scabs anything out of pure bad habit I’m thinking

Walks past the ‘stair pile’ of stuff that has to go upstairs and never takes it

SNORES

This thread is making my high blood pressure worse.

I don't know how the female prison population doesn't swell massively after every thread like this.

I suspect that "Kevin the teenager" is alive and well hiding inside every man. I think these behaviours are "Kevin's" protest at it being "so unfair" you expect him to do stuff.

Bastards, the lot of them...only joking not joking

Dh had an eye op when he was a baby and apparently this means he can’t blow his nose or his eyeballs roll drop out? I do point out that when he sneezes this doesn’t happen, but no. We must endure the sniffling and wiping rather than just giving the nose a proper blow. Grrrrrrr.

My DH is lovely. And very tidy.

BUT he always leaves the crumbs on the breadboard and I really don't like it. But I am sure I do stuff that really annoys him too.

More seriously I wish he could ride a bike properly so we could go on bike rides together or a cycling holiday. He lacks confidence on a bike. I feel like it restricts my life because we can't do things that I know other families do together. I go out with friends of course - but not away.

Cannot open cereal without obliterating the box and shredding the inner bag to ribbons. Then he wonders why the cornflakes are all soggy
His mum is the same so I’ve banned both of them from opening cereal in our house. Doesn’t help that our 4yo loves to take his chosen cereal out of the cupboard and shake the box. Vigorously. Rice Krispie shower anyone?

It was years ago, and I'm probably an irrational cow because it didn't really affect me but...

We used to put the kids to bed on alternate nights, with a short story till they fell asleep. On my night I'd read with a bland voice, the kids would lie down, start yawning and go to sleep. Then my husband and I had an hour or do of p&q before bed.... if my husband read to them he had different voices, made it all sound exiting, he'd be up there for 2/3 hours reading to them!! He never understood why I'd be irritated. Left cleaning up, washing up, watching an hour of tv, and going to bed while he was still vocalizing Thomas the bloody tank engine and friends.

That said...I'm pretty bloody annoying too. I'm easily irritated, short tempered, no patience, can't be bothered with him helping because he's cack-handed, I can peel a pan of spuds while he's still on the first one. That's not help. He's a better parent. I'm too strict. I'm bitchy. Have a tendency to go for the jugular.

Truthfully he's a better person than me. My mother told me he was too good for me. I should be happy he's spent 30+ years with me, and not complain...

This post is hilarious simply because my DH does pretty much all of the above 🙄

I have two with Sen and my husband doesn’t get involved at all in anything. It’s always “we” should do this when really it’s me.

Slurps his tea. The sound makes me murderous.

Puts his tea bags in the sink instead of the bin. He says they are too hot to go in the bin. I'm pretty sure in the history of mankind there's never been a fire caused by a hot tea bag.

Takes 30 mins to have a poo (is mainly reading).

Takes AGES to get dressed after a shower. To the point there are 5 mins before guests are arriving and he is still in a towel. I reckon he is actually an exhibitionist and wants to be caught wandering around half naked.

Goes out onto the driveway/pavement outside the house to talk to neighbours with no top on. Thinking about it I appear to have married the Dad from Friday Night Dinner.