Friend slapped daughter hard

[Daffodildainty]

Some friends were visiting from another country. Last night there was a mix up about the arrangements and I went out of the restaurant to meet my friend and her daughter - a 19 year old uni student . They were arguing on the pavement and as we entered the venue With me walking ahead of them I glimpsed my friend slap her daughter really hard across the face - I continued inside and eventually my friend arrived without her daughter who had returned to the hotel. She mentioned the slap but said her daughter had called her a name and pinched her hard to which she retaliated. I said it was not a good situation but took the cowards way out and didn’t tell her how shocking it was. We continued the evening. I feel badly for not intervening WWUD?

I'm really not trying to goad and my mistake, I re read your post and agree if it's sustained abuse, yes take steps to remove the child.

What is annoying me is the automatic defence of the dd, even some suggesting the mum lied about the pinch.

My friend doesn't hit her children ever. If she slapped her 19 year old I would question her because I know it's out of character. I would not wade in telling her it's unacceptable because she knows damn well it isn't. Because I know her so well I would be really concerned that there was some underlying issue.

With op it's unclear how well she knows the mum. For example does she know her friend's stance on hitting.

Police involvement is totally irrelevant. The mother lives abroad and has now returned there.
The daughter lives on another continent and it’s not clear whether that is the U.K. or a third foreign country.

This is what I’m asking of those posters saying they’re shocked at the “no big deal” answers (which they’re not) - what could OP do? Really do?

She can't actually do anything to help them, that's true. But she can choose whether or not she wants to stay friends with her. I personally would find it very hard to move past it. It's very hard to turn the clock back and forget an incident like that.

My DD and DP think I should contact friends DD to register concern and support if required then if friend finds out relationship will probably end as a matter of course - I’m debating it still/ the girl is in a third country and we are not close - I’ve seen her 4 times in 10 years . I didmt see the alleged pinch. If it happened it was quick not a sustained grab

The hypersensitivity coming from the anti-slap brigade here in nauseating. The daughter was rude to her mum, she got a slap that probably put her in her place, then went back to her hotel to sulk. She'll live. Next time she will think twice about pinching her own mother.
Btw what 19 year old PINCHES anyone? It's something you would expect from a cantankerous toddler.

The daughter was rude to her mum, she got a slap that probably put her in her place

Do you go around slapping people across the face when they are rude to you (it really wouldn't surprise me if you did). Or is it only people who are related to you?

There really are some rough as fuck people out there.

pallisers you are blowing this out of proportion. Why are you concerned about a complete stranger's rude daughter you've never met in your life? Please don't pretend you give a shit. You are just here to air your opinion because you have nothing better to do.
Would I have slapped the daughter in the same situation? Very probably yes. Happy now? Not everybody is a liberal, doormat martyr mummy.

It would have upset me and I would have left. Violence is never acceptable and I couldn't be friends with somebody that thought it was ok to go around slapping people be it adult or child,

You do realise, @SheerKhan that the OP didn't actually see the 19 year old pinch her DM? It's possible that she lied about it to justify her actions. From the way the OP described what she saw, it actually seems to me unlikely that there was a pinch at all.

Would you still think the friend was justified in slapping her DD if the DD hadn't pinched her??

We're actually going round in circles here, as there really isn't anything more that we can say. The only thing that the OP has to decide is whether or not she wants to stay friends with this lady. As I said earlier, this is a dysfunctional relationship between mother and daughter and it may be that in the end they will have to go NC with each other. But their relationship isn't the OP's responsibility.

You are just here to air your opinion because you have nothing better to do.

Like yourself then. Just shows no matter how rough and thick you think someone is, you can always find something in common with them. MN is great like that.

There really are some rough as fuck people out there. Like yourself then. Just shows no matter how rough and thick you think someone is, you can always find something in common with them. MN is great like that.

We can't all be as lovely as you.

Not everybody is a liberal, doormat martyr mummy.

Darling, I treat DS with respect and expect the same in return. He'd tell you I'm very far from being a doormat.
Slapping is for weak, out of control parents.