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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Party child not collected 2 hours after party end

213 replies

mooey89 · 23/06/2018 15:57

DS’s 5th birthday today.
Party attendee dropped off by a lady who was not mum. I don’t know mum or other lady at all. Never spoken before.

Party finished at 2pm, at 2.15 I text to check how long. ‘So sorry, childminder isn’t replying to my texts, I’m 2 hours away, can you keep hold of him?’

So we took strangers child home with us. At 2.45 I text again. ‘DS is going to his dads at 3, any news’?

At 3.20 I get a reply ‘I’m 50 mins away, still not heard from the childminder’

He’s still here, my DS is long gone!!!

He’s very well behaved, sitting in front of the TV eating birthday cake,

BUT AIBU to think
A) there’s no childminder - what childminder forgets a child and when being reminded that you’ve forgotten doesn’t drop everything to run and collect?

And B), would you not have phoned me?!?!

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 24/06/2018 21:46

She couldn’t leave the kid at the police station. It’s not a babysitter ffs.

Edinburghsmedinburgh · 24/06/2018 21:46

Not convinced it was a crisis, more like a free childcare opportunity, but who knows?

Nicknacky · 24/06/2018 21:49

Doesn’t matter if it was a crisis or not, it’s zilch to do with the police.

museumum · 24/06/2018 21:49

It must be exhausting thinking the worst of everyone all the time.

LOliver123 · 24/06/2018 21:51

Sounds like a genuine mistake. I would prefer to give benefit of doubt - rather than think badly of others

Mountainsoutofmolehills · 24/06/2018 21:52

What was the excuse and what time did she come....

Did you tell her you'd put it up on mumsnet ;)

Helmetbymidnight · 24/06/2018 21:55

Police or social services because mother was delayed?

Am I reading that right?!?!

ScattyCharly · 24/06/2018 21:58

museumum most people don't think the worst of people automatically. Like me, they think it because of bitter experience. Acting as an unpaid nanny to a CF's children on several occasions.

gillybeanz · 24/06/2018 21:59

I can't understand the surprise at calling the Police for an abandoned child.
Wtf do you think should happen? If you can't contact the person to collect the child/ parent. leave them in the street with a note saying lost?
Anything could have happened to the childminder/ mother and the poor sod could be left looking after the kid for hours.
I didn't say call them because mother was delayed, she was contactable. Bit of a CF, but my post was about children not being picked up and parents not contactable.

Nicknacky · 24/06/2018 22:06

Because they aren’t abandoned. There has been a miscommunication somewhere. It’s NOT a police or social services matter, and quite frankly why would it occur to a normal person to take the kid to the police when the mum is on way?!

Helmetbymidnight · 24/06/2018 22:07

This mother was in touch within 15 mins of the allotted time, so, yes, not ‘abandoned’.

LadyLance · 24/06/2018 22:12

nicknacky I think people are talking about an imaginary scenario where OP had something incredibly important to do this afternoon or had an emergency of their own or for some other reason was completely unable to look after an extra child.

If OP had to go to work or something, what do you think she should have done?

Nicknacky · 24/06/2018 22:14

No idea but not certainly wouldn’t involve the police or social services. Given she was in contact with the mum then I’m sure that scenario could be discussed.

goingtotown · 24/06/2018 22:14

Did you not think to ask the child who the lady was who brought you to the party?

NotUmbongoUnchained · 24/06/2018 23:05

I have a fairly important job, but if I was in the OP’s situation and needed to go to work I’d just phone in and tell them I’m either going to be late or unable to make it in. As any normal person I know would do. Thank god i don’t anyone in real life who would dump a poor kid on SS or the police because they’re a giant cock and and can’t do a nice thing for someone. Ridiculous.

enike · 24/06/2018 23:21

NotUmbongoUnchained, not everybody can phone in to say they are going to be late :)

I think what I have would done if I had work/important plans - I would ask the father to take the little boy with the DS at 3 pm (as this was the case) and inform the mother where the boy can be found

social services and police? ridiculous

the boys will be happy to have an extended playdate together, problem solved
(but.... what if the father went somewhere with the DS, where they cannot take him? ... though... but unlikely)

NotUmbongoUnchained · 24/06/2018 23:34

Why not?

Wdigin2this · 24/06/2018 23:36

Cheeky mare is using you as a child minder!

enike · 24/06/2018 23:37

because sometimes lots of other people are dependent on it if you turn up at the said time

FluffyPancakes · 24/06/2018 23:45

Oh dear, what a mix up, although it is more likely to have been a misunderstanding than a deliberate misuse of your generosity. Hope they weren't long after that!!

Stillonthatbloodycomputer · 25/06/2018 07:27

Wow , what a judgemental lot some of you are. I can only hope if you're ever called for jury service you listen to and hear ALL evidence from ALL sides before handing out the death sentence

Ohmydayslove · 25/06/2018 07:35

Well in my long experience parenting you have been had op.

OJZJ · 25/06/2018 08:04

Courtneylovely actually the entire class of our school has parents that stay with their children at all parties, gymnastics, football, ballet, swimming and dance etc.
I know as for some reason we all tend to be in the same after school clubs and classes and obviously the same parties. Our children are only five and six though maybe this will change when they are nine or ten. Or maybe it's a different set of rules in the part of the country we live in.
Although sadly I will have to attend with my son until he is much older than your average kid unfortunately due to medical needs.

OJZJ · 25/06/2018 08:15

"Maybe if you had more children you will be a bit more understanding"

Yes LadyFilthPacquet I do supose if I had more children the odd one or two may be more expendableHmm

I mentioned my five year old..... I may have another dozen children I didn't mention the ages of and just happen to be somebody who thinks five years old is too young to be left at a party with parents I am unfamiliar with.....

Rozzzzzalmost35 · 25/06/2018 09:18

Eek

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