Party child not collected 2 hours after party end

[mooey89]

DS’s 5th birthday today.
Party attendee dropped off by a lady who was not mum. I don’t know mum or other lady at all. Never spoken before.

Party finished at 2pm, at 2.15 I text to check how long. ‘So sorry, childminder isn’t replying to my texts, I’m 2 hours away, can you keep hold of him?’

So we took strangers child home with us. At 2.45 I text again. ‘DS is going to his dads at 3, any news’?

At 3.20 I get a reply ‘I’m 50 mins away, still not heard from the childminder’

He’s still here, my DS is long gone!!!

He’s very well behaved, sitting in front of the TV eating birthday cake,

BUT AIBU to think
A) there’s no childminder - what childminder forgets a child and when being reminded that you’ve forgotten doesn’t drop everything to run and collect?

And B), would you not have phoned me?!?!

You're cheaper than a childminder so...... I am sceptical that a 'childminder ' has let the mother down, especially with it being a Saturday.
Poor little boy, he's lucky that you could keep him safe; I wonder what would have happened if you didn't have him?

@LeahJack right?

Why is everyone saying she should have called? She's 2 hours away, and had arranged for someone to pick up her kid. They didn't do it - but how would she k is That?

She found out when OP got in touch with her. She's then clearly got in her car and started driving. What is it you want her to call about? She told you she was 2 hours away. If she has to keep calling you to talk about... what?... Then she will take even longer to get there.

Not everyone is cheeky. Not everyone is a liar. A childminder dropped him off so it sounds like mum is telling the truth. She's doing the best she can but what on earth would she be calling OP for when she's rushing to get to her son?

Sounds like child minder was drop off and Mum was to pick up and she’s just chanced her arm leaving him till she gets back rather than come at the correct time . Cheeky fucker extrordinare.

Mother might be driving and unable to pick up or make calls or send texts.

He’s been collected!
She was apologetic, I said ‘oh dear, I hope your childminder is ok!’ She kind of skirted over it!

However she did apologise and thanked me profusely for having him!

Wow! I agree with the pp saying that once doesn't make it a pattern so assume this is not so much cheeky fuckery as unusual catastrophic failure of reasonable plans just this once. So, act with goodwill and kindness. But be wary of any kind of repeat - if you host this child again then quiz the parent on who is supposed to be doing the pickup and ask for phone numbers of that person and of a backup friend who can collect in case the main one suffers an emergency.

two hours away means i have another two hours at work.

I don't think there is or ever was a 'childminder' and that the mum is a CF

I think that she was lying, thats why she skirted over the issue.

I was once collected three hours late from a party. My mother had a car accident. That was in the days before mobiles though.

Christ on a bike! What is with cheeky fuckers using other parents to babysit their kids?! Why isn't the fucking MOTHER coming for her child?

Some people take the piss something rotten. Like I said on the other thread posted earlier (similar to this,) I do wonder why people HAVE kids, when they clearly cannot be arsed with them, and are happy to dump them on some unsuspecting poor bastard!!!

I had this happen to me a lot when mine were younger, as my (long) post on this thread explains!!!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3286343-To-think-she-should-have-checked-in?watched=1&msgid=78887201#78887201

@mooey89 glad to hear! If she were being a CF she would have thanked that much

She could have been trying it on. Or she could have been let down by the childminder. Or the child’s father could have been the one who was supposed to pick up and mother is too polite or too scared of him to say so. Or there was a miscommunication that she’d just realised was her fault and she’s hugely embarrassed by it. It’s difficult to know from a one off like this. Her behaviour isn’t inconsistent with any of them being true. Glad she was at least apologetic.

@rochinate1

You are either breathtakingly naive, or you are the kind of CF who thinks nothing of going to collect your kid 3-4 hours later than you should have.

Yeah I would have been polite, but very fucked off.

And I don't believe it was accidental. I think she was happy to leave said child with the OP for as long as she possibly could.

This kind of thing has happened to me many times in the past, and I genuinely believe the mother of the kid is a CF who knew exactly what she was doing.

I reckon she was dealing with another crisis. I would have done as the op and taken the kid to my house and just managed. I hope other parents would do the same for me - not that I've ever done this!

Isn’t she not calling b cause sh s driving?

@user1490607838

I'm neither. But I can see you're incredibly rude. I was working away for a weekend, and my mum was looking after my kids. She dropped them off at a party. She then had a heart attack in a coffee shop. So obviously she didn't pick them up. The hospital called the emergency contact on her diary but before the news reached me, the party parent had called to say the kids hadn't been collected.
I managed to get hold of my sister who had just got the news, and I really didn't want to blurt out "my mum had a heart attack" to this random parent, incase she let something slip to the kids so I just said there was a problem and I was on my way and would be one hour. I explained when I got there, and she couldn't have been nicer, but if I'd found out there was a thread about my situation on mumsnet I would be very pissed off.

Sometimes shit happens. Not everyone is just being a dick. And your life must be miserable if you go through it assuming that everyone is out to get you or fuck you over in some way.

@user1490607838: that's both patronizing and rude to rochinate1

Rochinate1's post said everything that I was thinking. The mother could have been trying it on, but her version of what happened sounds very plausible, especially as she was so thankful and apologetic.

Unless there's a repeat performance I'd accept the mother's version of events.

I think that your own bad experiences have soured your outlook. Personally, I'd much rather go round expecting the best of people than continually assume people are lying and taking the piss. It must be horrible to be so cynical and distrusting.

I was let down by people supposedly providing contractual childcare much worse than that.
Don't be too harsh on her for one accident. If it repeats, of course.

Agree keep an eye on this little fellow

Sounds like a communication failure.

She was 2 hours away dealing with something, as soon as OP texted her she started driving (possibly tried to reach childminder by phone first).

The massive fail was in not communicating what was happening to OP properly.

If people would just make phone calls and have a two way conversation instead of bloody texting and missing half the pertinent information out because it's not the done thing to send long texts, there would be far fewer of these types of misunderstanding, and mess AIBU fuel!

I think most people seem to have forgotten how to use a phone or have a normal two way conversation in which information is imparted and requested and two people come to a reasonable solution in full possession of appropriately shared relevant information together.

Don’t think the mum has done anything wrong tbh.